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The other day at work there were three little boys who were asking millions of questions to everyone who walked by their table. Well, one of the questions they would ask the guys was "Are you sweaty?" to which most of them replied no. One of the servers joking around as he passed said "I sure am! I'm working hard!" xp Anyway, as he walked away, I heard one of the boys say to his mom "He must be smelly then."

A rich, kind 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family
and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks
for all of them to put in their Christmas cards.

In each card she wrote, 'Buy your own present', and then sent
them off.

After the Christmas festivities were over, she found the checks
in her desk.

Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from her with, 'Buy your
own present' written inside, but without the checks!

Courtroom Questions:

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "where am I Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well I can see pretty well I think.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

*glares* RAN KUN!!!!! ok but moving on........this happend to me IRL. It happened about 2 years ago and I think told everyone this but here it goes.

It was the last day of school before winter break started. I was with my crush and another friend as we walked down some stairs. Well I usually hold onto the railing when I walk down the stairs but my hands wee full of x-mas given to me by my friends. Anyways The first flight of stairs I had no problem with. The las flight the one closest to teh ground..well the stair were wet from the fog from earlier that morning. So when we approching the second flight of stairs my friend said to get into the holiday spirit let's sing a song. We all agreed and began to sing 'Jingle Bells'........well as soon as my foot hit the second flight of stairs I slide downwhile singing. So it was while walking 'Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the-*slips and slides down teh stairs* wwwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!.......I will never forget that....cuz not only did alot of students laugh at me but...my crush saw me fall! He asked if I was alright and so I tried to play it cool while holding back tears of pain that I was alright.

::wipes away laugh tears:: sorry...

lol, just an overall bad day eh? xd

Wow.....too many good ones. The she elf one about the checks, rans bullet proof vest and bowling are my top three thus far.... I know these can't compeat but....


At work one day, about 2 years back or so, I was making nachos for a group of costomers, and I was dead on my feet tired. As Im half asleep at the cheese machine I hear one girl say somthing along the lines of "ewwww don't eat that" It quickly became apparent that the male of the group was eating the popcorn because it was free. Onme of the girls said "thats soo cheesy" I turned arund with the nachos inhand and said "actually, thats corney, the nachos are cheesy....."

And in the vein of vain-ity and Falling down....

I was always the shy hide under my desk type in JHS. Very meek. its a mesure of how much highschool, and the friends I made there changed me that I surivied the follwing story:
About a week or two into my drama class, my teacher gave us a fun little task. We made two lines facing eachother, across the room from eachother with all the desks cleared away. He tossed a beach ball to one of us and told us to play. We had fun. alot of fun, being silly, tossing it back and forth, showing off, goofing around... then he took the ball away. He set it aside and said... "Now act like the ball is there. I want you all to s ee the same ball. react as if its there." Yadda yadda and threw a "ball" at some one and we began playing with a ball that wasn't there... Until it headed twords me. it was a low throw, I could almost see it bouncing along the floor to me. I reached my foot back, and just like I would have if there had actually been a ball... I kicked with all my might.... well the ball might not have gone sailing acroiss the room.... but my shoe did. I hit the floor first laughing harder then I could remeber ever having laughed in schoool, tears in my eyes, laughing in hysterics, with the rest of my class, all staring at one loan black canvas shoe sitting dead center of the room.... heart blaugh blaugh sweatdrop heart