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 Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 4:28 pm
Just a bunch of short stories of the Organization stuck in a retirement home.
Retired Hearts
Disclaimer: I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does.
Organization XIII lived in the retirement home called Retired Hearts. It was almost disgraceful to think that such lively and good-looking people would ever grow old.
But they did.
Surely you would have thought that they had died and were lost forever in darkness.
But they weren’t.
Organization XIII somehow met each other up at the Pearly Gates and tried to take over.
So St. Peter laughed at them and turned them around, sending them to Hell.
Or so they had hoped.
Instead they were granted to be living breathing human beings with no powers and normal lives with normal people living around them.
Just horrendous.
And the worst part was they got old. Very quickly. Years flew by and they aged. Thoughts of taking over the world just weren’t appealing anymore, especially when you have to keep paying your taxes to keep your house, or knowing that at 6 o’clock your wife/husband is going to want you to cook dinner for them.
Yes, that was what the Organization suffered.
When they were young.
And now?
Retirement home. All 13 of them. And what do they do now since they’re old? They talk about taking over the retirement home and creating it as their new castle.
Let’s take a look.
Xemnas sat in his rocking chair with twelve others surrounding him. He pulled out a hanky with one old wrinkled hand and blew his nose. It sounded like a trumpet. After he tucked it away in his pocket he pulled out his glasses and set them on his nose.
Ah yes, they all were there.
“I hope…”
He wheezed and coughed a couple times, clearing his throat before continuing.
“That you all know what the plan of action is.”
Vexen pulled out his hearing aid and jabbed at it before sticking it back in his ear. He put his hand around his ear while pushing the grey hair out of the way.
“REPEAT THAT, BOY!”
“PLAN. OF. ACTION!”
“Oh. YES I KNOW.”
Xemnas nodded his head and felt some of his own white locks fall in front. He didn’t get to style it anymore. His hands were to shaky for that.
“Tonight, we start the takeover.”
“WHAT?”
“TAKEOVER. TONIGHT.”
“Oh. YES YES, SOUNDS BRILLIANT. HEEE.”
Xemnas sighed. How can you be silent when you had to shout everything at Vexen?
His eyes went over to Xigbar who had turned to a passing old woman.
“Hey, baby, how’s about you and me after pudding?”
She just cackled and kept shuffling away. Xigbar gave a big smile, with few teeth, and turned his attention back to Xemnas.
“She likes me.”
Xemnas grumbled, “That doesn’t matter, alright? Okay, first we’ll start by assassinating the caretakers.”
Some snoring made Xemnas hiss. Axel was sitting in his wheelchair completely asleep. His hair was white with a slight reddish tinge to it. His body was extremely thin and bony, and tubes were hooked up to him.
Marluxia jabbed him with his pointy elbow and the man woke up with a wheeze.
“I’m listening.”
Xemnas finally continued, “Finally we’ll slowly begin to shove the others out the windows and have the building locked down.”
Lexaeus yawned, “I’m hungry.”
Xemnas stared over at him. He was fat now, and considerably bald.
“You can eat later!”
Demyx opened his mouth to say something and his false teeth fell right out. He continued to try and talk, but no one understood a word he was saying.
Xemnas nodded, “Any objections to our plans?”
Everyone shook their head and then their eyes landed on the skeleton that they kept in a wheelchair. It was Saix’ remains. Xigbar reached over and shook the skeletons head as a ‘no’.
Xemnas nodded, “Then let us go!”
A caretaker came in and smiled at all of them, “Who wants pudding?!”
She was really chipper. And pretty.
Everyone raised their hands and made some type of old grunting noise as a yes. Another woman came in with a pudding trolley and handed out cups of pudding.
Larxene smiled as she ate hers slowly, “Can we do the take over tomorrow? Tonight is mashed potatoes with butter.”
Everyone oohed.
Xemnas sighed, “Alright. Fine.”
______________________________________
Lawl, its so dumb and random, but I thought it'd be kind of...well...funny.
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:37 pm
You thought right! That made me giggle. Especially Xiggy, still hitting on women even when he's old...er than he already is. XD And Vexen being like, "WHAT?" after everything. It kind of reminds me of my grandma on the phone.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:05 am
That was so perfect! Vexen was amazing, when is he not. And Xigbar... I loved that.
AND HOMG. Demyx's event actually happened to me! Not my teeth, but my Grandma was talking to me once and that happened.
You killed off Saix?! Poor thing... It reminds me of something from Muppet Treasure Island.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 9:56 pm
^^
Yeah, well, Saix just seemed like a vulnerable person to die early what with you know...
crazy rampages and all.
Demyx' thing kind of reminds me of my grandpa whenever he wants to amuse me he clacks his like, retainer denture things.
very creepy to say the least.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:47 pm
It was Visiting Day where little children got to come and stay with the old people for a couple of hours.
Something Xemnas dreaded with a passion.
The class of kids always smelt of diapers and germs.
Then again the whole building already had that smell about it.
He grunted as he glared over at Luxord who had sunglasses on. He thought he was so cool being legally blind. But the shades just needed to go.
“Damn kids ******** Vexen.
“DAMN KIDS ARE COMING.”
“Oh. YES I KNOW.”
Luxord gave a shrug with his boney shoulders and looked at Xaldin. The man still had long dread locks/braids. They were so discolored but they still had an essence of beauty about them.
“Xaldin…eehh…hee…is your grandkid coming?”
Xaldin looked at Luxord. Why the hell did he care?
“I hope not.”
He snorted and hacked a loogie onto some passing by child. The kid went off screaming and crying.
Hahaha, another shot well done.
Xemnas gave a disgusted look and turned his attention to the children pouring in. Ugh, they were here already.
A group of them gathered around Roxas and cheered.
“ROXAS! ROXAS! ROXAS!”
One handed him a little heart shaped piece of paper with crayon scribbles on it.
Roxas groaned and mumbled, “I’m old.”
They cheered again and a few more gave him little paper hearts.
Roxas groaned again, “Keyblade…keyblade…doodedooo…doodedooo…dumdumdum..”
Demyx gave a cackle as his teeth fell out again. He pulled out his sitar and muttered something about playing. Although it was hard to comprehend when he had no teeth.
He strummed slowly as his arthritic hands were hard to move.
The tune was catchy nonetheless.
So Roxas was ‘doodooing’ and Demyx was strumming.
Xemnas could tell this was going to get bad.
Xigbar burst in with tapping the table he was at.
Lexaeus crinkled paper.
Axel wheezed.
Marluxia tapped his foot.
Larxene played the xylophone on Saix’ ribs.
The kids clapped and made cheery noises as everyone was just participating in this old man music.
Xemnas glared at them all and snorted, “This is stupid.”
Everyone stopped. A lady came over and bent down, “Awww, did Xemnas not get his pudding again today?”
“Eh?”
“Here, have a cup!”
Xemnas took the pudding happily.
“Fine fine…continue.”
The music commenced and Xemnas ate his pudding. So much for that.
After a while Xemnas finished his pudding and watched as little kids were now talking about poems and doing jokes for the old people.
Pathetic.
One kid got up there and burst into a screechy song. Xemnas looked over at his tablemates.
Vexen was drooling and his hearing aid had fallen out again. Axel was wheezing and not paying attention, Marluxia covered his ears in anger, and Demyx was cleaning his teeth with a marker lid.
Next up was a little blonde angel with pale skin and a nervous smile. She went over to the piano and cracked her tiny fingers before starting.
Xemnas perked up.
It was their theme music!
HOW DID SHE KNOW OF THEIR THEME MUSIC??
“ORGANIZATION XIII! PREPARE TO FIGHT!!!”
The Organization pulled out their weapons angrily with a roar of grunts and wheezing.
“ATTACK!!!!”
The other old people slowly turned around, which took about 5 minutes, and stared at them as they shuffled about to the closest person trying to murder people.
The blonde girl kept playing.
Axel had wheeled himself over to some old chap with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.
“Heeeee….weee….”
The cigarette lit up and the old man puffed it slowly before having a stroke from the chemicals and inevitably dying in the end.
Axel did a cackle before falling asleep.
Marluxia held his scythe up and whipped it through the air cutting off fake roses on an old woman’s hat.
“Plastic roses were so last year!”
She screamed as the rose fell into her lap.
“My grandchild gave this hat to me!”
“Your grandchild has bad taste.”
She burst into tears, as fast as an old person could, and tried to get one of the little kids to glue it back on.
Lexaeus lifted his tomahawk to smash a small child and fell backwards destroying a table. Two of the legs flew up and smacked Demyx’ teeth out of his mouth and knocked Larxene on her butt.
“Oww….my replacement hip hurts…”
Demyx grabbed his teeth and popped them back in before strumming on his sitar.
“Dance, water, dance!”
Xaldin’s water came up in small beads and started pelting some of the other old folk in the head.
“Not Chinese Water Torture!!”
“That’s right…scream old lady…heehee…” Demyx kept playing as fast as he could.
The small beads of water kept smacking into her before she fell over.
Saix sat there in his chair and clattered his bones.
The girl soon stopped and the Organization paused.
Xemnas blinked as he almost beheaded someone with his lightsaber of doooom.
“Eh?”
The Organization stared at each other before a few care takers came in and sat them down giving them more pudding.
“That…was invigorating.”
“HUH??”
God dammit, Vexen.
“INVIGORATING.”
“Oh. YES IT WAS.”
Luxord gave a cackle, “Reminds me of old times, mates.”
Xaldin grumbled, “Stupid grandkid….always playing our theme music…I told her not to…does she listen? Noooo…”
Xemnas gave a big smile, “She must come more often if we want to rule this place.”
Axel woke up and snorted, “That’s right, Xaldin.”
Marluxia nodded in agreement, “I never felt so young!”
Xemnas stared about at their ‘destruction’. They basically hurt everyone’s feelings and startled a few of the other old folks but didn’t do much damage. Except killing one man. Thanks to Axel lighting his cigarette.
Ah, he was bound to die any second anyways.
“We must train and get our strength back, we’re not phasing them that much.”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
“When will we do that, Superior?”
“Tonight!”
Larxene rubbed her fake hip, “But tonight is applesauce and caramel night!”
Everyone oohed.
Xemnas sighed, “Alright….we’ll do it another night.”
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:55 pm
Awwwww. Xaldin has a grandkid that is so adorable.
I love Demyx's teeth continually falling out, and Vexen's hearing aid.
AND HOMG. That single Saix part had me laughing SO FREAKING HARD. It totally made the entire chapter. I don't know why, it was just so blunt and just.. perfect.
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:39 pm
WHOAZ. I found you on fanfiction.net before I even saw that you'd updated this. So I reviewed it on there. This chapter made me giggle muchly once again. XD
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:39 pm
Down in Retired Hearts Center everyone always wants to know about how Saix, the strong and demonic member of the Organization, became…
Well…
Dead.
The real question: is Saix actually dead?
Only the Organization really knows.
Xemnas nodded, “And god dammit, I’m not going to tell the secret!”
Well, that’s besides the point. What really is freaking out the old people is the mysterious deaths going on inside the retirement home. Now, most of the time when someone croaks there it’s because…
Well duh, they’re old and they just DIE. It’s natural.
But these were murders. A killer inside the retirement that was so good not even the criminal justice people can figure out who it was.
But there was another scary part in this.
Every room that the dead bodies have been in Saix’ skeleton was sitting there in his wheelchair.
One policeman even heard his ribs rattle when he entered the room to investigate.
Anyways, now the Organization was being interviewed about it. They thought that one of them did it.
Of course, after their declaring of destroying and taking over the whole building who wouldn’t think it were them?
“Sir, I need you to lower your voice,” one policeman grumbled.
Vexen blinked and poked at his hearing aid, “EEEHHH??”
“SIR, LOWER YOUR VOICE!”
“Oh. OKAY.”
The policeman smacked his temple, this was going to be a long day.
“SIR, HAVE YOU SEEN ANYONE BEING SUSPICIOUS AROUND HERE?”
“EEHH?? NO!”
“ANYONE WHO IS PUTTING THAT SKELETON INTO PEOPLE’S ROOMS?”
Vexen blinked and looked over at Saix who was situated at the table. A cup of tea was sitting on front of the skeleton.
“Ehh..eh…he moves on his own…”
Vexen had said it so low that the policeman almost didn’t hear him.
Of course, after he registered it he almost laughed, “Sir, skeletons can’t move on their own.”
Vexen hissed, “NON-BELIEVER!”
The policeman shrugged and moved onto the next Organization member.
Vexen looked at Xemnas, “They just don’t understand.”
Xemnas nodded, “I know.”
Their eyes went over to Saix. His skeleton hand was now situated in a way that it looked like he was grabbing the tea cup as if ready to drink from it.
“Eeeeh, oh well, let them figure it out themselves.”
Xemnas nodded, it wasn’t his problem if more people died. In fact, it was better for their plans anyway.
The policeman walked over to Axel and gave the stick thin man a prod.
“Eeehhh…” Axel wheezed and stared at the man.
“Sir, have you seen any suspicious things happening around here?”
“Eeehhhh…”
“…Sir?”
“JESUS KITTENS!”
The policeman whipped around as he pulled out his gun and fired to death at whatever was coming at him. Once he stopped it seemed that Saix’ skeleton had lunged itself on him. Now it lay limp on the floor. Carefully the policeman put his gun away.
“Uhhh…sorry, folks….”
Half of the old people were now wheezing and croaking from the loud noises.
“You! Yooooouuu! How dare you! Boooo!! Booooo!!!”
Some crazy old lady with wild gray hair came at him with her cane. She stopped several times to catch her breath and continued to shuffle at him. He stopped her with his hand.
“Ma’am, you don’t understand, I’m working here.”
“Boooo! Booooo!”
Caretakers came in and whisked her away offering her pudding. The policeman looked down and noticed that Saix’ skeleton was gone. In fact it had removed itself from the whole entire area.
Conspiraaaacccyy!
Night time came and Marluxia was sitting in his bed reading.
A creaking noise made him frown and he felt something touch his shoulder.
When he looked to the left there was Saix.
“Honey, I’m too old for dirty sex games.”
Saix’ skeletal hand fell from his shoulder and onto his thigh.
Marluxia stared.
“I told you yesterday and the day before that AND the day before that. No.”
Marluxia went back to reading and the bed creaked again. When he looked back Saix was ******** crazy skeletons.”
Around this time Xemnas was shuffling over to get back to his room. The ******** toilet had to be so far away from his room. He stopped as he saw Saix in someone’s room. Another dead old person was lying there and Saix was standing on a chair with a rope around his neck.
Xemnas blinked.
Axel started to wheel himself by and stopped.
“Nooo! Saix!!!”
Axel wheezed and they both gasped as the skeleton hung itself, swaying back and forth crackling its ribs.
“He’s….dead,” Axel choked.
Xemnas blinked, “He’s been dead, idiot.”
Axel blinked, “Oh.”
Caretakers came in and pushed them into their own rooms to take care of it.
By the time it was morning the police were back. Saix’ skeleton was confiscated, and the Organization was upset.
“No one lays hands on Saix and gets away with it!” Roxas grumbled.
The Organization agreed.
Xemnas nodded, “Tonight, we go out and receive him!”
Demyx opened his mouth to say something and his teeth fell out again.
Larxene decided to pipe in for him, “But tonight’s bowling night!”
Everyone oohed.
Xemnas nodded, “You’re right. We’ll have to do this a different night.”
Everyone yay’d and then chowed down on their pudding.
And so Saix’ movement is still a mystery. To, of course, the police. We all know, they’re just stubborn. Fools.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:48 pm
HOMG. Best. Chapter. Ever.
I seriously hate skeletons, but this is just so damn funny. Everything about it made me laugh, I could picture it so well.
Poor Saix... all he wanted was love.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:31 pm
this will have preview from fanfic cuz I'ma lazy ho and don't wanna take it off. XD
This chapter is dedicated to Zexion. Not just ANY Zexion, but DEATH’S Zexion (aka Little Zach). That’srightbuckoyouknowwhoyouare.
And everyone else won’t have the slightest clue.
I heard from the grapevine that you wanted some more Zexion speakageness, and so you will receivage such.
And don’t ask what those words mean, I just made them up.
ANYWAYS, before I start to sound like a stalker, I’ll let you all just read and enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We left off with Saix being taken away by the police and how the Organization promised that they would avenge their skeletal friend and regain his bones!
Of course, when would they have time to do that?
There was knitting at 4, and wheezing at 5, pudding in between all sessions, and potty breaks were essential!
But finally Xemnas had discovered the perfect time to get Saix. During the Super Bowl.
“Who watches that crap anyways, eh?”
Xigbar looked up one of the caretakers skirts and whipped around to face Xemnas, “I do! It makes me feel young!”
“EEEEEHHH?”
“IT MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG.”
Vexen shook his head, “Bull s**t it does.”
Xigbar grumbled at Vexen and went back to shuffling after some ladies.
Xemnas sighed, “We’re going to see the reruns later anyways, we need to regain Saix!”
Larxene whimpered, “But my soaps are on right before the Super Bowl!”
Xemnas grumbled, “RERUNS.”
Marluxia blinked, “The Gardening contest is on right before that! Oh Xemnas, you’re killing me. I can’t miss that!”
Xemnas sighed and covered his face before staring at the group, “So you all would rather stare at a television for hours and drool like a bunch of old coots while our comrade is out there being poked and prodded??”
Everyone blinked and mumbled yes.
Xemnas glared, “This isn’t the Organization I had created. This is just a pack of mules before me.”
Demyx opened his mouth and miraculously his teeth didn’t fall out, “I like meals.”
“I said MULES not MEALS.”
Demyx blinked, “Mules?”
Xigbar gave Demyx a slap on the back of his head and watched the old fart’s teeth fly across the room, “HEE HEE HEE!!”
“THIGBA!”
“Thigba? Heehee, that ain’t my name, Demyx.”
Demyx got up and raised his small arm, “Thith ith war!”
Xigbar began to shuffle away with Demyx quickly shuffling after.
Zexion pulled out one of the earplugs from his iPod and blinked, “What’s going on??”
Xemnas sighed, “No one wants to save Saix.”
Zexion smiled, “Oh, I’ll go get him! I just finished listening to Hamlet.”
Xemnas stared at Zexion.
HE wanted to save Saix.
“But…Zexion…you’re BLIND.”
“I know, but remember, I have a great sense of smell.”
“You’re..blind! How do you sniff out WALLS??”
“Well, that’s just a secret of mine!”
Zexion stood up, “Well I should be going to get him.”
Xemnas tried not to laugh. Zexion was taller sitting down than he was standing up. The years had not been kind to him. He shrunk considerably, and he was pretty short when they first acquired him.
His hair was mostly white with parts of gray in it and the eyes were always closed shut.
He didn’t HAVE eyes, in fact.
Xigbar had found it as a great 70th birthday trick to…you know…rip them out.
That was quite the lovely birthday gift Xemnas had ever seen.
He was surprised that he hadn’t gotten something hideous like that pulled on him. Then again he was the Superior, he could kill them if they tried anything dumb.
“Zexion..it isn’t night fall yet.”
“Oh…I see…”
“I’ll…tell you when you need to go.”
Might as well try Zexion since everyone else was too worthless to act.
And slowly when it came to night Xemnas gave Zexion a jab with his elbow. The old fart pulled out his earplug and coughed.
“Alright, he’s down at the police station. All you have to do is..well get out of here first…and find the police station, from there you need to sneak in and retrieve Saix without getting caught.”
“All of this without being seen, I imagine.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll do it.”
Zexion stood up and once again seemed to lose height. He quickly shuffled away to THE ELEVATOR!
Zexion bobbed his head a bit as the music went on and he waited to reach the bottom floor. A nurse stepped in and Zexion continued to bob his head unaware that a caretaker had entered. He just thought another old person was trying to escape.
“Zexion, how are you doing? Shouldn’t you have your cane with you?”
He blinked and finally sniffed the air. Ah, it was a soft scent, definitely one of the caretakers. Silly him for not noticing.
“Who needs it? I can see fiiine.”
“I thought you didn’t have eyes, though!”
Stupid Xigbar.
“Yeah well…who needs eyes to see?”
“Teehee, you’re so silly.”
The elevator reached the bottom floor and Zexion stepped out happily going his way to the outside world.
No one stopped him.
Of course, no one could see him walk by the front desk because he was shorter than it.
He shuffled away happily into the darkness.
And once he reached the police station? Well, that’s a whole other story.
He sniffed the air and nodded, it had to be the right place. It reeked of donuts and fat men. Whatever fat men smelled like. Slowly Zexion slinked up to the door and opened it.
As he walked inside he could hear people moving about without a care that he had entered.
Of course, no one could see him.
Zexion gave a small nod and put his earphones in.
He clicked play.
Loud, blasting music of hardcore Mozart and Beethoven started to seep into his skull and he felt his powers begin to accumulate.
With as much eagerness as he could succumb Zexion began to transform himself!
Into…
A cute little boy.
His mind had gone on a blank on who to turn into. Being someone young, of course, was a nice thing, but he wasn’t sure if he could copy a policeman’s uniform correctly without seeing it. Since he had no eyes that idea seemed out of the question.
Quickly he began to dash about with his teddy bear in one arm sniffing now and then to figure out where Saix was.
The scent of hatred and pure loathing with a hint of lemons and skeletal bones caught his nose.
Yes, Saix was close.
He sniffed a couple of times to make sure no one was following him and quickly turned back around. As Beethoven started to do a whole rupture of heart wrenching slammage on the keys Zexion cracked his neck and began to run down the hallway unseen.
Finally he stopped and gasped.
He had finally came to the right hallway, but it was highly protected by motion detectors. He’d have to be careful and get around them.
Zexion sighed and dropped the teddy before turning up the Beethoven and started to do somersaults and flips and the whole flippity what nots to get to the other side.
He was on a mission…
From God?
No.
From the Organization.
Finally he reached the door and smiled as he picked the lock and opened it. Inside came the rushing smell of putrid death.
And lemons.
“Saix?”
He heard a faint rattling of bones and Zexion slipped inside sniffing about to find the man….skeletal…thing.
The rattling came from the corner and Zexion walked over, “It’s me, Zexion.”
He turned Beethoven off and felt around to see if Saix was still in one piece. He was slapped sharply on the hand and he reeled back quickly.
“Ouch! Don’t slap me, meanie.”
Oh boy, being a kid wasn’t turning out so great.
Some violent rattling of Saix’ ribcage told him that he was perfectly fine and was in one piece. Zexion sighed and took off his Spiderman backpack, which he was guessing it had to be that since he envisioned it as so, and opened it up.
“I’m going to have to take you apart to get you to fit, but I’ll put you back together once we get back inside the care center.”
More violent rattling.
“Oh stop being such a big baby.”
Rattle rattle rattle.
“What? You want to stay here? Ha. Xemnas ordered you to be retrieved quickly, we need you to help us take over the Retirement home.”
Rattle-ish-ness.
“Of course we want you back. In fact, I bet Marluxia is just dying to see you again.”
Rattle?
“I mean it! He seemed truly upset.”
Rattle.
“Then get in my bag and we can hurry up and see him there.”
Saix seemed to explode into bone fragments but all went inside the backpack nicely. Zexion smiled and zipped it up before feeling around for a window. When at last he found one he quickly jumped out and sniffed his way home.
As Zexion entered the care center a bunch of girls squealed and picked him up.
“Look! It’s a cute little toddler!?!? How’d he get in here!?!?! He’s ADORABLE!”
Zexion liked this.
Hee.
But of course, he mustn’t get carried away with this whole…huggy poo thing..or whatever they called it these days.
He slipped out of their grip and dashed for…THE ELEVATOR!
As he entered he transformed into his normal self and clicked the top floor button.
Doo de doo.
He bobbed his head to the music and felt Saix’ bones rattle in anger at the music.
“It isn’t that bad.”
Rattle rattle.
“We’re almost there, Jesus.”
Zexion shuffled away to his room and dumped the skeleton onto the bed.
“Hurry up and assemble yourself, I’ll report to Xemnas.”
So Zexion went to Xemnas, who was asleep in his chair since the Super Bowl had bored him to death. After repeated pokes and wheezing Zexion finally got Xemnas’ attention.
“I brought Saix back.”
“R-Really? Good job, Zexion. Where is he?”
Zexion pointed at the doorway and everyone stared as Saix was standing there all relaxed against the frame.
An old lady walked buy and screeched, “Ahhh!! It’s Death!! He’s come to get me!!! BLAAGH!!”
She fell over after having a heart attack and died on the spot.
Marluxia clapped, “Oooh! I love it when they screech!”
Xemnas sighed, he should have known that the blind person of them all would be able to retrieve Saix so easily.
“No one found you at all?”
Zexion shook his head, “No. I transformed myself into a kid.”
“Ah.”
“EEHHH?”
“HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A KID!”
“Oh. GOOD OL’ ZEXION.”
Xemnas rolled his eyes at Vexen and noticed Saix was now sitting with them at their usual spot.
At least everything was back to normal…
For now…
The caretakers came around and started to hand out pudding. Everyone wheezed happily.
“Yay! Banana crème pudding! My favorite,” Roxas wheezed and started to munch away.
Xigbar jabbed Xemnas in the side, “Don’t look now, but I think Marluxia is trying to feed Saix.”
Xemnas looked and blinked.
Marluxia truly was trying to feed…a…well…skeleton.
“Don’t tell him or he might throw roses at us again.”
Xigbar grunted and began to shuffle away to get more pudding and a few care takers booties.
And thence that day came to an end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okies, that was that. And I know not all real cops are like that.
But whatever.
I appreciate any comments.
And ladedah.
Oh, and I beg forgiveness for taking so long to update, but I got addicted to some video games recently. So yah.
Until next time!
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:45 pm
That was awesome, of course. Of all the rattling I love that.
That as so adorable.
Yeah, that's right I thought it was adorable. And Zexion being so short that's hilarious.
I love this story.
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:48 pm
I laughed so hard when Orgy XIII started to attack when the girl played their theme. Skeleton Saix is the best!
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:19 pm
Most of the time the elderly are not allowed to leave the care center’s grounds. They’re too old, unfit, and can come to harm in public areas.
But for certain elderly folk, they get the leisure of leaving if their children or grandchildren want to take them out.
For Xemnas, that was the horrible plan that always seemed to happen to him every year.
His kids and grandkids wanted him out and about living with them for one horrid day before sending him back into the hell hole of a retirement home.
“Grandpa Xemnas!!!”
One 11 year old seemed to have the voice box of a freaking chipmunk. Was that even possible? The boy had shrieked loudly as he jumped and hugged Xemnas to death like he wanted to have some filthy little brat on him.
Blagh.
And then came the great grandchildren. They were…babies.
And more grandchildren.
And some children.
Jesus, a family reunion was happening right before he could leave the damn care center.
“How many of you does it take to come and get me?”
Everyone laughed and smiled brightly at Xemnas.
Eesh, why’d he ask?
“Oh grandpa, you’re so wonderful!”
It was some 20 something blonde bimbo talking now. He wasn’t sure how he could have descendants so…cheery and stupid.
“How’s Marluxia doin’?”
Now it was one of his kids’ wives trying to deplore her concerns on the other Organization members. She had a New Yorker accent with outrageous amounts of red curly hair on her head. She was quite plump and scared Xemnas to death. She was the type to talk so much and hug him to death even though they weren’t blood related.
Eesh.
Marluxia glared at her and went back to sewing.
“How’s it going, pa? Seems all of your friends are still alive. Quite amazing if you ask me.”
Eugh, and when did he have a son that was a hick? Pa? What a loser thing to call him. He was SUPERIOR to all.
Some baby was plopped in his lap and he sneered as it bubbled and drooled on him.
Oh Jesus, just shoot him.
“Grandfather, are you ready to go? I cannot stand the anguish in your eyes as you sit here suffering these family ‘things’. They’re bothersome and disgusting.”
Oh yes, he almost forgot about his favorite grandson. The kid actually understood what he was going through.
“Just take me away…hopefully I’ll die in the car trip to your house…”
“Alright, Grandfather.”
This grandson, coincidentally named Xehanort, had no children. He lived richly in his own house. His parents had died long ago. Xemnas remembered it, but never actually registered the fact that his kid and his wife had died.
They were dumb anyways.
But Xehanort was something else. He was the type of person that would follow in Xemnas’ footsteps.
“We brought your favorite wheelchair!”
He snorted, he hated the wheelchair to DEATH. It was such a PAIN. He could easily get up and walk about. Nooo, they wanted to wheel him around like some old fart….because…he was one.
But he didn’t WANT to be wheeled around!
Gah.
“Why don’ we take Marluxia with us? Considering he doesn’t have a family of his own and all!”
New Yorker lady was once again scaring Xemnas. Why bring Marluxia? Not that he minded 11, he was one of the easier ones to get along with in the Organization.
Possibly because he was gay, but whatever.
Marluxia snorted, “I don’t need a family.”
“Oh but ya do, hun! We brought flowers for you!”
Marluxia perked up, “Really?”
“Oh yah! They’re in the car!”
Marluxia contemplated this, “Fine.”
They unlocked his wheelchair and toted him away with Xemnas to follow. The rest of the Organization wheezed and muttered their goodbyes.
Xehanort sighed as the families with children and what not went into their vans and cars. He was stuck with actually driving Xemnas and Marluxia.
Not that he minded.
“Grandfather, would you like to sit in the front or the back?”
Before Xemnas could answer the wild red head New Yorker came over with the flowers she had promised Marluxia.
“Here you go, dearie. Oh Xemnas! You look so gaunt, have you been drinking enough water, dear? Oh my.”
“Ehh…I’m fine.”
“Well that’s good. Ah, Xehanort, your car is so beautiful! Ya don’t mind if I were to drive, hmm? That way you can talk to your Grandfather so easily!”
Xehanort thought about that.
It was a trap.
But he couldn’t refuse, she’d pursue.
“Well…”
“Don’t be shy, I’m a great driver!”
Damn.
“I suppose…”
He handed her the keys.
Xemnas blinked. Oh Jesus.
“I want to sit in the back…”
That’s right, he isn’t going to sit with that crazy woman while she’s driving. Xehanort helped him in and took away the wheelchair. Marluxia grumbled. He’d have to sit up front.
As they got situated and inside the car she started to drive away.
“Grandfather, would you like to stay at my house?”
The redhead decided to pipe in, “Oh! But isn’t that so far away from the rest of the family? Wouldn’t that be a little sad for him not to see everyone?”
“It’s just to stay for the night. I’m not isolating him..”
Xemnas wheezed, “Sounds good to me.”
Xehanort smiled, “Marluxia, you can stay with us, too.”
Marluxia just nodded as he held his flowers protectively.
Xemnas looked out the window and pointed, “When did they build that?”
Xehanort looked, “A few years ago, Grandfather.”
Marluxia grumbled, “Damn government building things for no reason.”
Xemnas nodded, “They’ll see. Once we take over the Retirement home we’ll show them.”
Marluxia cackled and turned around. They both did a weak high five.
The New Yorker finally decided to speak up, “Oh but ya know, that building has helped out a lot of people without jobs! And it’s useful, too. Plus its economy friendly.”
“Screw the economy,” Marluxia growled.
“Oh, but you don’t really mean that, Marluxia! You’re just upset, aren’t you?”
“Upset…about what?”
“That you didn’t get to sit in the back with the others!”
“What’s that have to do with the economy??”
“Everything!”
Xemnas and Xehanort exchanged glances before sighing.
“Aunt Marge, do you know how fast you’re going?”
Ah yes, that was her name. Xemnas had forgotten. Good thing Xehanort had finally decided to speak up.
“Well I’m goin’ 20 right now…”
“You can speed up, you can’t ruin my car.”
“Oh but I don’t want to scare these two! They’re fragile.”
Marluxia snorted, “Drive faster, I’m not getting any younger.”
Xemnas watched the trees outside zoom by. It was nice to at least be out of the home, but in a car with this crazy lady was starting to nerve him. Marluxia was right, his thoughts about dying on the car ride there might actually come true.
She finally sped up.
Well, the car ride was just LOVELY.
By the time they got to the family reunion part, it was a whole different story. Marluxia was stiff from the car, Xemnas was almost sick from the way she drove, and Xehanort was brooding.
Aunt Marge was happy as a bumble bee.
“My aching bones…”
Marluxia stepped out of the car and stood up slowly, stretching to his full length and then slouching back down to his usual stoop. Xemnas tried to get out and away from everyone but Aunt Marge just INSISTED on helping.
Ugh.
This large woman was killing him. Literally. She pulled him up so fast he felt like he was going to fly into the air. By the time he came back to earth it seemed his muscles weren’t ready to hold him so he practically fell.
Xehanort rushed over and supported him.
“Grandfather, are you okay?”
“Ehh…yeah..”
Marluxia shuffled a bit and sat in his wheelchair happily. He still had his flowers at hand. They were still lasting without water, somehow.
Xemnas sat down in the wheelchair provided for him and was taken away to meet some more of the family.
He hated the out doors. It was so bright and cheerful. Even the people were happy. He noticed who part of his family was and who wasn’t. It was the trademark dark colored skin with orange eyes and light colored hair.
Someone came up and gave Xehanort a huge hug before squealing.
“Brother! You totally made it.”
Eeeh….he didn’t remember this grandson. Xehanort had a brother?
“Yes, I let Aunt Marge drive, that’s why we’re late.”
“Oh I see. Hi, grandpa!”
Oh gosh, it was some crossdressing man! Xemnas truly needed to break away from this family. He didn’t know that his own offspring could produce so many scary children!
Marluxia cackled at the sight of the crossdresser and smiled, it seemed he was enjoying Xemnas’ anguish.
“Awww, who’s this, Xemnas?”
This guy had a creepy voice, too.
“Eeehh…”
He already forgot 11’s name.
“It’s Marluxia, pleased to meet you.”
“Oh! I think I’ve heard about you before from Aunt Marge! Glad you could come down this time!”
Marluxia frowned, now what has that devil woman said about him?
“Mmhmm…”
It seemed after that little lovely intrusion of Xemnas’ eyes the kids of all ages came and surrounded him and Marluxia. There were babies grabbing onto them and older kids angsting about. It was almost sickening to hear and see it all.
Finally, though, they got to leave thanks to Xehanort.
“Grandfather, you look exceedingly fatigued. I’ll take the two of you home if you want.”
Xemnas nodded, “Sounds good.”
The children and their snotty little hands were pried and pushed away as they were wheeled back up to the ******** little brats, who in the hell allowed those people to breed?”
Xemnas shrugged, “I never told them they could.”
“You obviously didn’t tell them they couldn’t, either.”
Xemnas grunted at Marluxia and got in the car. He really didn’t care.
“Not like I ever communicate with them unless I have to.”
Marluxia stretched a tad and yawned, “I didn’t think that large woman would ever go away. She almost SAT on me.”
“You should be glad she isn’t related to you.”
Marluxia laughed, “So true.”
Xehanort drove away. None of them waved at their family as they left. It was basically cold stares at the passing faces until they got onto the road.
“How far is it to your house?”
“Far.”
“Well, young man, I daresay you picked a good location if it’s far away from THEM.”
“That’s why I live there.”
Marluxia looked out the window and began to ooh and awe at the flowers he was seeing. He would be distracted for a while.
Yet again another long road trip.
They arrived at Xehanort’s house when it was dark.
Marluxia had fallen asleep while Xemnas had been looking outside to see if anything was interesting. There seemed to be no neighbors around for miles and miles, so that was always nice.
Hell, he wished he could live out here.
His eyes fell on the large house. It was a mansion! A castle!
Something…big!
“I hope you enjoy your time here, Grandfather and Marluxia. I don’t have much for the two of you to do.”
“We’re old, we don’t do much but eat pudding and sit around…”
“Ah yes…”
Xehanort got out and helped Xemnas into his wheelchair before bringing him inside.
Xemnas stared about at the nice things. Books lined shelves, tables had many chairs with gold encrusted in them, chandeliers hung up high, stairs were made of marble, and the walls were all painted beautiful colors. It was a house that Xemnas would die for. Although he wasn’t up to dying right now since he was enjoying the view.
He wheeled himself into the living room and looked about. It was glamorous. He almost forgot how much money this kid had in his hands.
Marluxia and Xehanort entered and the boy smiled.
“Enjoying yourself, Grandfather?”
“Yes, it’s nice here.”
“That’s good. Are you tired?”
“No, not yet.”
“I see, then let me help you sit on the couch and the two of you can have some beverages if you’d like.”
They were situated on the couch and Marluxia was beaming with joy at the sight of the place.
“It’s nice here. Wouldn’t it be grand to live here? Oh, if only we were young again.”
Xemnas nodded and watched as Xehanort entered. He set a vase down and put Marluxia’s flowers in them so they wouldn’t be beaten to death anymore. He then handed them some cups with some nice herbal tea in it.
Marluxia sipped at it and finally looked at Xehanort summing him up.
“I’m surprised someone as nice looking as you lives all alone in such a grand place like this.”
Xehanort smiled, “Well my brother lives here.”
“The one who crossdresses?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Well that still shouldn’t scare away some young ladies.”
“Well, there’s also another person…”
Marluxia perked up, “Who?”
Xehanort didn’t have to answer. A crash from another room had made the two old farts turn their heads in the direction of what was going on.
There stood a male who looked like a female. He was dressed in pink and black, and seemed to be peppy and cheery at the moment.
“Xehanort! You’re home!”
Marluxia blinked. Xemnas almost dropped what he was drinking.
“Well who are these two?”
“This is my Grandfather, Xemnas, and his friend, Marluxia.”
Marluxia’s jaw dropped. The femme male blinked and then gasped.
“MARLUXIA? ARE YOU JOKING ME?!?!”
Xehanort shook his head, “No, why?”
“That’s my grandfather’s name! Oh gosh! Are you my grandpa?!?!”
Xemnas blinked, “Marluxia! You never told me about this!”
Marluxia smiled, “Well, who said I had to tell you everything about my past life with other people?”
Xemnas blinked. Jesus, the slut. Who hadn’t he been with?
“I’ve wanted to see you for SOOOO long! Mom told me ALL about you!”
Marluxia blinked. He had a daughter? That was news.
Xehanort and Xemnas just stared. That…was…interesting. Who knew they would have such a quirky family reunion at Xehanort’s place?
It was then that the flamboyant boy lunged himself onto Xehanort, “Have you told them?”
Xemnas blinked. Told him what?
“Um…no.”
The boy giggled and smiled at them, “We’re going to get married!”
Xemnas’ jaw dropped and he glared at Marluxia, “Damn you and your offspring! You have to ruin my family, don’t you?”
Marluxia shrugged, “If I remember correctly you were exactly the same when you were their age.”
Xemnas was speechless.
“That was more than 60 years ago…”
Marluxia shrugged, “What has happened has happened, Xemnas, you can’t deny it. Let them have their fun. Not like they need our approval, we’re going to die soon, it wouldn’t really matter now would it?”
Xemnas sighed and grumbled.
“Whatever.”
And so their day came to a close with a new and intriguing connection! Marluxia and Xemnas were soon to be….ehh…
Related.
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 2:27 pm
Ahaha, that was hilarious.
Marluxia and Xemnas, the thought of them actually beeing with women and not with each other is just... a frightening thought!
And was Xemnas with a lot of women? Because he had a lot of diverse offspring... ><
I love how the entire organization must have out lived all of their partners if they're all single again.
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Battery Acid Included Crew
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:09 pm
XDD
Yeah.
I just kinda...made it up as I went.
Someone sent me a comment that was like...full blown.
It was just awesome.
And he gave me a suggestion for next time, so I saved the comment so I wouldn't forget. XDD
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