Welcome to Gaia! ::

It know its been a while. But its summer so I will deffently catch up with everything and everyone here. <3

I'm just a little confused though. I know I've told everyone here that I call myself a 'pansexual'. Meaning someone who doesn't care about gender. Pretty much another form of bisexuals but without any degree towards one gender or another.

But I'm not quite sure about much anymore it seems. I think men are attrative, I think women are attrative but I could never see myself sexually with a woman. Though I can't seem to call myself bisexual.

With me I have to know things for sure, and this is just another thing that I would have to know for sure before I felt comfertable with anything; like with relationships and things.

I dunno. I could just use someone to comment back on this.
Thanks. <3

Yeah. Honestly I didn't even know what sexuality was untill the 7th grade when someone was trying to get revenge on someone else and called me a lesbain; and here I'm going to be a senior next fall. xD

Its just weird because I didn't even take anything like that into condersation untill freshman year.

I know! Its just weird. I went to the moives a couple of times in the past week and I was with my friends and I couldn't help but think 'it would be really nice to have a girlfriend to go to the movies with. Holding hands in stuff...' I mean it almost seems right but as far as an 'adult' relationship with sex and things I don't see it working out. But with guys they just don't seem less romantic alot of the time. Unless they over do it because they want to have sex.

Something else that makes me more towards girls is that there are no guys in my school that I like! That just makes girls seem even more attrative. But then thinking where I am body wise I'm not surpised I'm not in a relationship because I'm not a size -208.

*Glomp* Ugh! You always have the right thing to say. If I could I would jump on a plane for NC right now so I could tackle you for real.

I know my body weight shouldn't come into play with releationships but at my school it does sadly. I've been trying to lose weight for a long time and nothing is working so it just depresses me from time to time. My friend told me a couple days ago that I looked good and that it looks like I dropped some weight. Then I had to come home to my gram saying that I need to do more to lose weight. You know how she is though. It just bumed me out.

Its not just that I can't let things happen they way they should happen its just being metally aware of it. I would let things happen but my friends always joke about me being a lesbain so I feel like I almost have to prove that I'm hetro (witch I have no clue if I even am). And you know what happened with "A" and things. (If you don't I can tell you on Skype or something). So after that whole ordeal it scares me to even think what my friends would say if I said I even 'kinda' liked girls.

lol I wish you could too. Both you and Moocat. I need my sisters to be here..

Shmoo.. I know I don't have to tell you that they're all just superficial retards, yah? There are a lot of people like that out there, and there are people out there that aren't like that. To let these people so wrapped up into looks get you down, it's just giving them more power to do it. I know it's hard.. being over weight myself, I was made fun of a lot in gradeschool, middleschool, and part of highschool. Don't let those bastards take your confidence from you. They're not worth it. What matters is that you are very beautiful. As for your gram, she ALWAYS has something to say to you. So honestly, there's no point in really paying any attention to her.

It makes me sad though, that you'd let your friends get to you like that. I think that makes me more sad than anything. I know that they have been the best friends you've had and they mean a lot to you.. but I don't like them. More often than not, they're saying something or doing something to make you feel bad about yourself. Especially the lesbian thing. Stay friends with them.. but you need to start taking up for yourself. Take up for yourself and don't be afraid to admit anything to yourself just because of the things they say. You find out who you are, not who they want you to be. It's your life, not theirs. Of course they will always be apart of your life and you'll need their support but they don't own your life little sister. Friends are supposed to accommodate your life by being there for you, not the other way around.

Not really. Being gay/bi/whatever is more than just having sex. In fact, sexual attraction and activity are pretty minor in declaring one's sexuality.

I've thought about that, too, the whole 'sex doesn't matter' thing... But, if you're going to be in a serious relationship with someone, wouldn't you eventually want to go so far with one you love? I mean, really, it shouldn't be the most important thing in a relationship, but isn't it important? If you love someone, I mean like IN LOVE with someone, sex is something that you would think would end up happening...

I'm not saying that it's like totally a must-be, or anything... But you know, what with hormones, eventually, you'd want to do SOMETHING with someone, and if you aren't sexually attracted to the gender of the person you're dating, well... Y'know... Not good.

I dunno, that's a problem *I* have a lot. I've had very small mini-crushes on girls, but I always ignore them, 'cause I figure if I'm not willing to go that far, then it's not a real relationship, I guess.