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 Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:23 am
Brother: Remember Daniel?
Me: Daniel who?
B: Our cousin.
M: *heart flutters* Yeah, why?
B: He's in town and said he wanted to see you. He's at Tia Sonia's (where he just spent the night at). Do you want to see him?
M: *heart beats faster* No.
Daniel, step cousin, is the guy who pretty much started my depression. He sexually "molested", I suppose, me from age 10-13. He was one year older than me.
He wants to see me? So of course my mind is thinking, okay he's either blocked it out of his head, wants to see me cuz he wants to do it again, or wants to see me cuz he thinks I'm "over it" even though he didn't know it totally ******** me up. He moved when I was 13, which is prolly the only reason the harassment stopped.
My mom knows and a few of my other family members... but I don't think any of my other cousins or adults of the fam know.
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:12 pm
I'm so sorry that you had to put up with that, PFF.
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:23 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:17 pm
Well I haven't seen him since he moved... so he's not really bugging me...
besides, there's some other a*****e who deserves a bit of punishment before Daniel.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:08 pm
give me 5 minutes with him, i'll make him regret touching you, cause i'll be having some fun of my own with him twisted
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:46 pm
The~Shadow~Dancer give me 5 minutes with him, i'll make him regret touching you, cause i'll be having some fun of my own with him twisted
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:47 pm
PukeFacedFreak The~Shadow~Dancer give me 5 minutes with him, i'll make him regret touching you, cause i'll be having some fun of my own with him twisted
and yes, my literate ranting has ended.
~LIMN ninja
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:13 am
Each of my current bf's (3), when I told them the stories, each one wanted to kill, get back at, teach him a lesson, etc. Of course, I said no. I believe they will get what they deserve... someday. Then again... it's probably just wishful thinking. An easy way to solve constant problems.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:24 am
PukeFacedFreak Each of my current bf's (3), when I told them the stories, each one wanted to kill, get back at, teach him a lesson, etc. Of course, I said no. I believe they will get what they deserve... someday. Then again... it's probably just wishful thinking. An easy way to solve constant problems.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:25 am
The angles I tend to look at tend to have to do with me being at fault.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:30 am
PukeFacedFreak The angles I tend to look at tend to have to do with me being at fault.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:35 am
Lost_In_My_Nightmare PukeFacedFreak The angles I tend to look at tend to have to do with me being at fault.
but depression kills all logic.
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Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 7:44 pm
lol, sorry if it sounded dirty, i just meant i would torture him badly, i have...ideas going through my head that i would love to use on those who deserve it, and believe me, i would destroy his mind
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:51 am
PukeFacedFreak Lost_In_My_Nightmare PukeFacedFreak The angles I tend to look at tend to have to do with me being at fault.
but depression kills all logic.
Ugh, I shouldn't be thinking that way, but alas, it is how I feel.
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:01 pm
Completely understandable. I was raped by my ex and everytime I run into him I cringe and my brain freaks out. Almost crashed once trying to speed away when I saw him in the car next to me. I run away, yeah, but that's better than what I could do. Because I swear, if one day I see him at a store, and he comes to me and smiles, I'm going to kick him in the balls and stab his eyes out with my keys.
I've been diagnosed with depression and now I'm taking bipolar meds (which I keep forgetting to take) and I might have anxiety. It's gotten so bad that I was afraid if I didn't keep my mouth shut, they'd put me in a mental hospital sad
Have you ever had a panic attack? That was the most horrific experience I've had. Whenever I think about it, I can hear the high pitch of the scream I was making. It chills me thinking about it. It was a painful scream and I wasn't even physically hurting but it was the scream of someone dying. It was aweful. I can hear it in my head. I can't believe that came out of me. Makes my heart race every time I think of how terrified I was. I pissed my pants while the nurses dragged me into the emergency room, I was ******** freaking out. 2 ******** panic attacks within one hour. I almost wish I could tell people "you should have a panic attack, it will change your life", because it really did. I try not to remember the scary part of it but I want to remember the way it opened my eyes to certain things. It's SO hard to look at all the good s**t in our lives, it's like digging for your wedding ring in a pile of s**t. But I try. I do.
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Reply
You can't resist
