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 Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:04 am
Meaningless?
Watching
The troubles
Of those
Around
Listening
To the
Quiet sound
Whispering to me
Telling me things
It raises from whispers
It screams
It sings
To look
At all these things
The tears of those
Naught deserving
The fears of those
Gifted with learning
And I listen
I listen
As it screams
Ever louder
But all that I find
Is scary
And demeaning
I find
That I want
To fix it all
Yet I find
That when I try
I will fall
And even if
Helped
To achieve
My goal
I won't
See the day
When all
Is at bay
And not
The smiles
Of those
That had uttered the cries
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:26 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:41 pm
i think the rhyming was a lil off, like you'd make it the last word, then 1 little line rhyme, but it was reli good
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:04 pm
I agree. The rhyming was all over the place. But other than that, I really like the poem! mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:27 am
I like messing with my rhyming, or else it gets boring, and thanks, you guys.
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Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:32 pm
aggread, rhyming is off, but a good poem.
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