Welcome to Gaia! ::

i hear you, i see you, i feel your touch
your voice, your face, it's all to much
you are my dream, and thats the theme
im asleep in darkness, lieing in my bed
your not here, it's just the memories in my head
our arms wraped around, but apart we're bound
it's slowing loosing grip, we're fading
the memory of us is evaporating
with a blink, it's all gone
i awake, in the light of dawn
chilled to the bone, i realize im alone
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make me so numb
so ill have the strenth
make me so numb
i dont feel a thing
make me so numb
your words wont hurt
make me so numb
i wont feel like dirt
make me so numb
i feel good about me
make me so numb
that i can live free
make me so numb
ill love you
make me so numb
you'll love me too
make me so numb
that i look up to my father
make me so numb
you smile at your daughter
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expectations, unable to grasp
coughing up blood, and with on last gasp
thinking of the would be's
thinking of the could be's
torn to shreds, fallen apart
held so fragle, so close to heart
backed up aginst the wall, it's sore
never again, never, no more
softly, speaking in a whisper
he sends out a small wish, to be with her
falling onto the cold ground
the blood over flows across his frown
gone, floating away
his sprit is with her, and in the graveyard their bodies lay

tell me what you think, what i need to improve on and stuff, i know the last one seems kinda odd, a little off, or maybe its just me

I had a poem like your second one, where every other line said the same thing. Someone told me that it gets boring hearing that over and over again. And I see what they mean. It does get pretty boring hearing it again and again. But, otherwise, your poems are really good! mrgreen

good job! i think my favorite is the first one.