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I am unamused by my dad's teasing. I barely eat a lot of food as it is, not because I'm trying to lose weight, but because in general I'm not really hungry, and I avoid eating a lot of junk food most of the time. Is it so bad that when someone offers me a little bit left of their chocolate mocha cheesecake because they couldn't finish it, that I'm like "okie, I'll eat it"? Am I not allowed to eat a little extra ocasionally, or help myself to some junk after awhile without being teased about my weight?

I'm fat. I'm working on it Dad. You wonder why I stay in so much because assholes keep teasing me. Assholes like you. ******** you. Seriously, ******** you. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. ********. You've been doing this since I don't know how long. Yes, I've been fat all my life. If I remember correctly, you were never one to promote healthy eating. And it was you who always drove me into emotional eating. If I had to put blame on anyone other then myself for what my physical apearance has become it would be you. You ******** a*****e.

You get on my good side for one day, and then you ruin it with your obnoxious childish, yet cruel behavor. You know I'm sensitive about certain things, and yet you ignore it all and still make your comments. What the ******** is wrong with you? What kind of father are you? What kind of person are you? You hold me with no respect, and you hold my feelings with no respect, and you treat me as if I am nothing but dirt on your shoes. Your slaves, the thing you made, and were forced to take care of. Am I a mistake? Am I your daughter? Must you ruin my life like you did with Mikel in order to be put on human level?

Have you ever told me that you loved me, that you were proud of what I've done, and how hard I work to keep myself above the water? To excel from my brothers, and do better then the rest. I don't even know why I try to live up to my expectations, or do better then that, as you never notice. You don't ever notice me as a daughter. What am I to you?

Honestly. Who the ******** are you? Because the only thing that connects us is blood, and mom. And if she were to let you go, you'd be out of my life, and I'd never talk to you ever again. There's no one I can say I hate in this world except for you. Congrats David, I hope one day I can tell this to your face, and I hope you break down, and I hope you cry, and I hope you feel as much emotional pain as you've put me through since my youngest days, and I hope you remember all those mistakes you made, and I hope maybe you'll change, and I can actually say with pride that I'm your daughter, and you can take pride in me too.

You say you've changed. But I see no changes, I still see the a*****e bipolar father that you were, the only thing that has changed is now you don't yell as much, and you don't break things as much. But you're still an a*****e.

Sigh.

My mom calls me fat all the time, and She is as big as a whale.