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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:07 pm
Quester Info Username: ladyumbra First timer (y/n): y Character's name: Tobias Fraser Creature: lotus tree Category: plants Elemental type:Earth, light
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:40 pm
Name: Tobias Fraser Nicknames: Toby Age: 22 Birthplace: Niagara falls, Canada Current residence:Niagara falls, Canada Height: 5'9" Weight: 178 lbs Eyes: light green Hair: Coppery red shaved close to the head Skin: lightly tanned Orientation: Straight Current Occupation: Freelance writer
Appearance: Tobias is of average height, broad shouldered and solid looking. He has has a strong square jaw and broad flat nose. His light green eyes are widely spaced and deep set with thick lashes. His skin is dotted with light brown freckles which can mostly be found in high concentration along the bridge of his nose and around his knuckles, though there are a few scattered across his upper body.
Tobias is just in shape enough to not be in a danger zone to be considered slightly obese. He walks daily to get items he needs but he does no other exercise. He eats a semi balanced diet but has been known to binge eat when working late. There's no obvious muscle to him but nothing jiggles easily either.( However the pudge poke test will get results).
Not particularly fussy about clothes he tends to live in track suits, jeans and t-shirt , though he owns a couple decent suits for funerals and weddings.
Personality: Tobias is a realist, neither overly pessimistic nor optimistic, though depending on the situation he can lean to one side or the other. He tries to keep an open mind about things but more often then not he judges things quickly and whatever he was looking at or thinking about gets stuck with his preconceived association unless he is proven wrong.
His quickest judgments tend to come most when he his dealing with political or religious views. A strong liberal he will listen to conservative views but they get a little less consideration than those of other political leanings. In general Tobias is an atheist and finds anyone talking about religion to be a potential annoyance since he thinks that talking about faith for more than few moments makes you fanatical, in his mind if you have it keep it to yourself. Afterall it's supposed to be between you and your god right?
While not a complete recluse Tobias has a small circle of friends met through sharing similar hobbies. Content with his current social group he doesn't go out of his way to meet new people but he is polite to all who are attempting to converse with him.
When it comes to his writing Tobias is a bit less lackadaisical and calm. While many contracts force him to write certain things he still manages to add his own style to each piece and is well known among former employers for having a very persuasive if at times aggressive writing style. He writes to make you agree with whatever it is he types and he works hard to make sure he appeals to as many points of view before luring them in with careful word choices.
In person he is laid back and calm, putting in enough effort to survive and enjoy his rather scheduled and uncomplicated life. When he writes he's different, sweet and alluring but deceptively manipulating you by trying to make you agree with his perspective no matter what.
Likes: His computer,sarcastic tv shows , reading and older comics.
Dislikes: Surprises,capitalism.
Future goals: To win a prestigious writing award.
Family: Mother :Sarah Fraser is an elementary school English teacher. She was the one who helped foster Tobias' love of the written language by reading him all kinds of stories when he was young an encouraging him to write the little stories he thought up.
Patient from years of teaching kids before she had her son Sarah was a calm but experienced parent who rarely let Tobias get away with anything. Despite this he has fond memories of growing up, especially of the fun and educational trips they used to take in the summer.
Even today she is one of the few people who's calls he wont ignore on the days when he wants to avoid the world or doesn't want to be interrupted.
Father: Mark Fraser works as an auto insurance salesman.
As a father Mark was firm but fair, allowing Tobias to go out and play but if the chores didn't get done before dinner then he didn’t eat until they were done and if dinner’s cold he'd have learned his lesson. Mark believed in trial and error letting his child do as they please and take what risk they may because he felt that nothing taught better than experience.
Tobias wasn't as close to his father growing up as he was to his mother. Still he considered him a pretty good role model and source of wisdom ( at least in the fields of girls, cars and math homework.)
Education: High school & some community college
Hobbies: Tobias enjoys collecting and reading old comics, they have a certain formula to them a way in which they always play out that pleases him. While each is different and each issue has new plotlines the same basic principles apply to all comics and Tobias enjoys this stability.
Habits: While he has no unique habits Tobias in and of himself is a creature of habit. his typical days consists of his morning meal while watching the news to catch up on world and local events. The next few hours of the day are dedicated to answering emails and phoning people who left him messages the day before.
Around noon he walks down to the local deli and picks up any meat he needs as well as a sandwich and sprite.
After lunch he settles down and begins drafting any pieces he needs to write. Once any work related writing is finished the rest of the evening if not scheduled for socializing is spent watching his favorite t.v programs.
Abilities: Tobias has an extremely good memory, this enables him to catch people in lies who change their stories and point out errors of people quoting texts he has read.
Background: 0-5: Tobias' early childhood was fairly normal, his mother took time oof work to raise him so he never lacked affection. He was taken to play groups and there were also many day trips where he saw many things that even for his age were exciting and interesting.
6-12:Upon entering School Tobias lost the spontaneity to his day he had had before. after a few years he became used to a an unchanging scheduled life. things always happened at a certain time and thats how life was. Interruptions to his schedule like fire drills and assemblies were usually bad things and he came to view change as troublesome.
Girls were discovered and rejected for being annoying due to their ever shifting emotions and attitudes. English became a favored subject becuase it was stable with rules and laws that while having exceptions was normally predictable.
13-16: Unlike many teens Tobias suffered no early teen rebellious years though he did as was typical of males discover hormones.
It was at this age that he received his first comic from an uncle. before then all his reading had simply been novels. He quickly became addicted to the form of media and his allowance once carefully divided for other purchases was now usually spent on new issues as they were released and new series.
17-22: During his last years of high school Tobias focuses mainly on his courses and activities that focus on English and writing such as writers craft and the school yearbook. Though he doesn't ignore his other coursework it is given enough effort to be decent grades but Tobias doesn't put in as much effort as he could.
After highschool he took a few writing courses at a local community college.
His social life is small, limited to those knows from classes and activities but he's not a loner or an outcast.
At 20 he left home and moved into a small place across town. He's been on his own and working whenever jobs come to him ever since.
How he arrives: It was simple thing really, just a comic he'd ordered off Ebay, nothing one would suspect of anything malevolent. Still to Tobias it was important, the issue was one he had only ever seen on t.v and read about on the internet. It was expensive and revered for being the premier of a then new, now famous comic artist. Tobias who was fond of said artists work had desired the issue for a long time.
Upon receiving it he'd signed for his box shut the door and opened the package. The minute the plastic wrapped comic hit his hand it was the end of his nice neat scheduled life.
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:47 pm
 About the Tree In Homer's Odyssey, the lotus (tree) bore a fruit that caused a pleasant drowsiness and was the only food of an island people called the Lotophagi or Lotus-eaters. ( wiki) (http://www.theoi.com/Flora2.html) Myth 2 : Tribe of the Lotus-Eaters. The Lotus-Eaters (Greek Lotophagoi) were a tribe of men addicted to the honey-sweet fruit of the lotus tree.Tthe hero Odysseus encountered them during his travels. When some of his men tasted the fruit, they lost the desire to leave and had to be dragged, bound, back to the ship. (Source: Homer) above picture is from the same source Why a Lotos tree?: The effects of the fruit the tree is supposed to have are a near match to Tobias' personality.
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:00 pm
Thanks for your comments, I'm improving my character right now.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:00 pm
Critique time!
1. Throughout, try and watch your punctuation and know when to stop a sentence. There were a few sentences there that had commas in the wrong place, or had two but needed four. By the time you need four commas, though, chances are you probably want to break up the sentence into smaller ones.
2. Height and weight: Tobias isn't 'tall' at 5'8". 5'11" is getting up there, but not until someone hits the 6 foot mark could they be described as tall. 5 foot 8 inches would be above most women, but is average or less than average height for men, especially his age. As for weight, 170 or 175 would be solid for his height. 160, again, is pretty average.
3. Views: A freelance writer has to have a viewpoint on most topics; being a realist isn't enough alone. What are his political views? Moral views? You describe him and persuavive and aggressive, but what about? To be passionate, you need to know where you stand.
4. When you say 'In real life' it sounds rather odd. As a freelance writer, he is in real life, just not present speaking to you. In this case, use 'in person' or a similar phrase.
5. Background: Whaat was highschool and university like for him? Did he work for or run the newspaper? Maybe have a column about comics?
6. Pukka: As a simple nature of the pukka, it's something special o the person. As you describe it, this was 'just another comic.'
7. General more details: Where does he live now? Does he drive or buss to work? How much contact does he have with his parents? Given 3 weeks off, what would you expect him to do during that time?
In general, try and flesh out your character more.
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