|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:55 pm
The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by. He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smiles, thinking to himself, "Damn, it's great to be e^x. I'm real analytic everywhere. I'm my own derivative. I blow up faster than anybody and shrink faster too. All the other functions suck."
Lost in his own egomania, he collides with the constant function 3, who is running in terror in the opposite direction.
"What's wrong with you? Why don't you look where you're going?" demands e^x. He then sees the fear in 3's eyes and says "You look terrified!"
"I am!" says the panicky 3. "There's a differential operator just around the corner. If he differentiates me, I'll be reduced to nothing! I've got to get away!" With that, 3 continues to dash off.
"Stupid constant," thinks e^x. "I've got nothing to fear from a differential operator. He can keep differentiating me as long as he wants, and I'll still be there."
So he scouts off to find the operator and gloat in his smooth glory. He rounds the corner and defiantly introduces himself to the operator. "Hi. I'm e^x."
"Hi. I'm d / dy."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:59 pm
oh snap!
that was an awesome joke.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:23 pm
From Wikipedia:
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in a psychological test. They sat on one side of a room and waited not knowing what to expect. A door opened on the other side and a naked woman came in the room and stood on the far side. They were then instructed that every time they heard a beep they could move half the remaining distance to the woman. They heard a beep and the engineer jumped up and moved halfway across the room while the mathematician continued to sit, looking disgusted and bored. When the mathematician didn't move after the second beep he was asked why. "Because I know I will never reach the woman." The engineer was asked why he chose to move and replied, "Because I know that very soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:16 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:10 pm
I liked the first one. XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:47 am
xd
I liked them both. Everyone in my general vicinity is staring at me now... rofl
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:03 pm
those are both ridiculous
xp
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:31 am
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician get captured by the enemy and are locked up in separate cells, each with only a sealed can of tuna. They are left to their own devices for a day, after which their captors come to see if anything interesting has happened.
The engineer is happily eating the tuna out of his can, the lid of which is popped open. The guards ask how he managed to open the can, to which he replies that he found the can's weak spot and tapped it against the wall until it opened on its own.
The physicist is happily eating the tuna out of his battered but still usable can. The guards ask how he managed to open the can, to which he replies that he smashed the can against the wall at the best angle to vibrate the can apart.
The mathematician is nowhere to be seen; the only thing in his cell is the still closed can of tuna. But the guards hear a faint cry for help coming from the can. They open the can and out pops the mathematician. They ask him why he was in the can, to which he replies "sign error".
My math teacher makes a lot of sign errors, so he told this one in class.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 7:51 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:44 pm
'f' was getting married soon, so she decided to book a banquet hall in a nearby hotel for the after church celebration. Sadly, she was turned down; the hotel didn't do functions.
Haw haw haw...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:53 am
A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist were sitting on a park bench watching a house. Two people went in the house, and a few minutes later, three came out.
The physicist said "Our measurement or first assumption wasn't accurate."
The biologist said "They must've reproduced."
The mathematician said "Now, if one more person enters the house, it'll be empty again!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:52 pm
Miscenco A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist were sitting on a park bench watching a house. Two people went in the house, and a few minutes later, three came out. The physicist said "Our measurement or first assumption wasn't accurate." The biologist said "They must've reproduced." The mathematician said "Now, if one more person enters the house, it'll be empty again!" lol xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
