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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:38 pm
So yeah. I'm just kind of looking for advice and want to know what other people think. This is kind of personal but I guess I'd just like ot know what other people think, what they would do, that kind of stuff.
Anyway, most people here know about my relationship with Locke Trufeld (Kaz). It's a serious relationship and eventually all serious relationships lead to sex at some point. So here's the story. I met him online when we were both thirteen, he asked me out when we were fourteen, and we've been together ever since, giver or take a few incidents and arguments. And right now everything is great and whatnot. We're twenty now, so you can see how long this has lasted. Last February he was finally able to come visit me after all these years and he was everything I hoped he would be and we had a great time. He was sweet, loving, all that good stuff and I never wanted him to go home. Anyway, we messed around a little but we did not have sex. I didn't think sex the first time meeting in real life was a good idea. Even though we'd been "together' for years, to me it seemed almost like a sex on the first date kind of thing. So I told him I wasn't ready and he got all sad over it and stuff. I take this stuff very seriously though, I don't think sex should be a casual thing, and I want to save it for the person I'm going to be with forever. Right now that person is Kaz, and I want it to stay that way, but I'm also being safe, given the many arguments and breakups we've had in the past. We're both virgins and that isn't something I want to lose to just anyone.
So I guess what I want to know is, should I keep waiting? He wants to do it next time he visits. I don't know if I should just go ahead and get it done with or what. I mean, I kind of wanted to wait until we were married, but nowadays that's a an old fashioned kind of thing. Not many people wait for that anymore, so I feel almost like that's a silly idea and may actually be harmful for a healthy relationship or something. Especially since I have no idea when we'd get married. Neither of us are ready for that, especially financially. We don't have jobs and are both trying to finish up college, and he still lives in NJ. I want him to move here to FL and he says he will, but who knows when that will be. So marriage is something that could be years off, maybe a few years, maybe many, many years. I don't feel like sex is all that important, but Kaz probably feels differently. The other thing that bothers me is that he can be so childish about things like this. I feel like I can't trust him to go talking about private things with other people, he's done it before. Neo here knows far more about our private lives than anyone should know about anyone. Kaz might go describing every detail to everyone he knows if I have sex with him. Even now, when I haven't yet, he tells his friends that he's going to have sex with me even if I've told him I'm not going to, says that he's going to buy a bunch of condoms the next time he visits me, things like that that are just embarrassing and make me feel like he doesn't care, and just wants to brag about finally getting laid by someone or something. Every time he says things like that to someone, it makes me want to have sex with him even less.
I guess part of why I'm waiting also is that I'm waiting for him to grow up. So yeah. I don't know what to do. In a fit of desperation recently I told him I would have sex with him because he kept saying I was selfish for not having sex with him. And I felt really bad about this, like I owe it to him now or something. Like I'm a horrible girlfriend for refusing when we've been together so long. But I still don't know if it's the right thing to do or not. So I just want opinions. Do you think it's more romantic to wait until marriage? Or is it better for the relationship to just do it because you love each other anyway? Do you think he's too childish because of what he tells people? Am I selfish for refusing to have sex yet?
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:23 am
I fixed your post so it's not a wall-of-text.
IMHO, in your post you already stated that you're getting married to Kaz eventually, yet you're confused about whether or not to have sex? Hell, if you love him so much that you're willing to say he's going to move over there and marry you, why exactly are you so worried about sex?
Him talking about sex after knowing you for stupid amount of years is just him saying "b***h, I've been with you and only you all these years, my p***s needs attention. And the fact I can only see you for 3 days a year makes me wanna do you."
If it were me, I'd be very disappointed if there was no sex on the FIRST trip there. It's not a matter of beind childish, it's a matter of... you claim to love him, you two are adults... what's stopping you? Are you not mature enough or something?
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 4:49 pm
Imperial Soulblade I fixed your post so it's not a wall-of-text. IMHO, in your post you already stated that you're getting married to Kaz eventually, yet you're confused about whether or not to have sex? Hell, if you love him so much that you're willing to say he's going to move over there and marry you, why exactly are you so worried about sex? Him talking about sex after knowing you for stupid amount of years is just him saying "b***h, I've been with you and only you all these years, my p***s needs attention. And the fact I can only see you for 3 days a year makes me wanna do you." If it were me, I'd be very disappointed if there was no sex on the FIRST trip there. It's not a matter of beind childish, it's a matter of... you claim to love him, you two are adults... what's stopping you? Are you not mature enough or something?
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:47 am
Bryan(2) she's talking about sex in a relationship, maybe you'd want sex on the first trip but she didn't.
Vicky, you did the right thing, you should have sex when you're 100% sure that the person you're with is the person you want to be with for your lifetime. I find it better to have sex after marriage because then you can get your life settle in first before you jump to anything else. I'm glad you're being cautious about the relationship unlike those people who do whatever, but if you're ready you're ready, and if you're not, you're not.. Not much more to say.. and it's good you're selfish with your virginity because if you weren't you could of been one of those sluts that rome the street. D: Not cool... So yea, you did the right thing Vicky, Kaz can put his hormones on pause till your ready lol... ^^ GOOD JOB! I'd give you a high five but there's no emotion for it o.o
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:33 am
But I can't keep my hormones down with her slipping her hand in my pants and ... stuff. D= I say it's selfish because she gets lots of fun with my p***s, but I barely get into her panties.. ._.
And a wise, close friend of mine in NC said... "******** her while she's hot. Because later she may be not." .. Or something like that. D= I don't even know when we'd get married, as explained in Vicki's first post, and waiting for that would just be unnecessarily long. Being cautious is one thing, but teasing my p***s that much and not engaging into sex is just cruel IMO.
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:20 pm
Umm you don't know when you will get married, her fear is that you both won't get married... To her her virginity is special and she only wants one person to enjoy it, she won't just hand it out to someone... She wants the person she's sure will be with her "forever" to have it.. Please try to understand Kaz..
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:39 pm
DemonicIce Umm you don't know when you will get married, her fear is that you both won't get married... To her her virginity is special and she only wants one person to enjoy it, she won't just hand it out to someone... She wants the person she's sure will be with her "forever" to have it.. Please try to understand Kaz..
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 5:11 pm
Kaz would have to preform a miracle to pry Vicki off of him... =/
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:01 pm
Imperial Soulblade Kaz would have to preform a miracle to pry Vicki off of him... =/ And what do you mean by that? stare
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:28 pm
You don't know all the history that Vicki and I have gone through in the past 7 years. ._.; A lot of things have happened.. and.. yeah..
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:01 pm
DemonicIce Imperial Soulblade Kaz would have to preform a miracle to pry Vicki off of him... =/ And what do you mean by that? stare I mean the idea of spending a day without Kaz would probably drive Vicki to suicidal. =/
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:42 am
Imperial Soulblade DemonicIce Imperial Soulblade Kaz would have to preform a miracle to pry Vicki off of him... =/ And what do you mean by that? stare I mean the idea of spending a day without Kaz would probably drive Vicki to suicidal. =/ Which I find rude to say..
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:33 pm
But like I've said. If you've witnessed most of the things that have happened in the past.. that's pretty much what it is. Rude or not. D=
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:09 pm
Locke Trufeld But like I've said. If you've witnessed most of the things that have happened in the past.. that's pretty much what it is. Rude or not. D= Precisely.
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:48 pm
Locke Trufeld But like I've said. If you've witnessed most of the things that have happened in the past.. that's pretty much what it is. Rude or not. D=
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