Welcome to Gaia! ::

(Hopefully someone will make this a sticky perhaps)
The Rules:
1) Please, nobody post in here except for me and Heat.
2) I'll be making a feedback topic where you guys can sign up to ask the wrestlers on Karibbean Kruise your own questions.
3) Besides having the Karibbean Kruise, me and Heat will both do summaries of storylines and predictions, etc. that are going on in the BTWF.

First Issue: Article One: July 22, 2005

The Karibbean Kruise
For generations, man has tried to achieve one goal. A goal that stands out among all others. A goal that is so important, because it decides how our peers and this planet looks at us. Man uses this goal to become successful in life. Man uses this goal to score hot girls, every night might I add. Man uses this goal to stand out above all the rest. What is this goal you ask? The only thing we are not born with, but have to earn. Man has tried to reach the level.....of being kool. However, after years of losers and lames, evolution has shined through on a gifted individual. Who is this man, the king of all that is kool? He is Karlos Karibbean Kool and he is a kool American. Prepare to read an article so amazing, so great, so kool, it has it's own name. This is the Karibbean Kruise by Karlos Karibbean Kool.

Karlos: Well, if you are reading this, you are now a part of history. Because you are reading the first ever, Karibbean Kruise by Karlos for the BTWF Magazine. Since I am basically in charge of it, I call the shots and I make the rules and ask all the questions. Now, how else could I set the first Karibbean Kruise off? Easy, my first guest, is one of the most controversial figures in the BTWF today. We don't know if he's the TV Champion, or if he's the former TV champ. The Combat Ace, Fenrir X, The Russian One, Yuri Yurievich!!

???: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH... shut up b***h!!! who in the name of lucifer do you blazes thing you are?

Karlos: Uh.. you're not Yuri!

???: Of course im not Yuri you dumbass.. do i look stiff and quiet as him?.. hell no!, im the one and only, the greatest thing ever since the discovery of the diet coke , im the one who put's the -Brits!- in celebrity!!!! IM THE HEAT!!!!.

Karlos: Listen man I don't give a damn who you are you're not ...Kool... and if you're not Kool then I dont care, so go now, shooo!

Heat-Whoa there partner... you can't shooo The Heat, and im here because i heard you are trying to do something funny, something entertaining and i wanna see for myself if you can really fill those boots junior !

Karlos: You wanna know if I'm kool enough to handle the show?

Heat: Yeah i wanna know.. even better, let's both handle it and see who gets the best , the bananian kool or the Icon!

Karlos: Deal, now back off and watch a pro do this, keep your eye sharp man, cause this only happens once in a lifetime. Once again, Yuri Yurievich!!

Yuri: You know I was in the back thinking to myself, wondering, why the hell I agreed to be on this show. I'm not even getting paid for this. So you better make this worth my while or I'm walking out.

Karlos: Please Mr. Yuri, I don't want you to leave. Just ignore this crazy mexican, and have a great time. Cause Karlos promises all of his guest a great time. For my first question, obviously at fadetoblack, you are facing a nobody with a cardboard cut out for a mask, some guy who dresses and acts like a p***y, and the Gaia Champion, the man who calls himself "The Future". What are the Combat Ace's thoughts going into this huge match of your already amazing career?

Yuri: Please you don't need to talk about how great I am, that's self-explanatory. Anyway, My thoughts on this match? Well it's obvious. I'm probably going to win. Why? Simply because I am the best. Let's look at my credentials. Not only do I have 12 years of experience in the wrestling ring, I also have the toughness beyond that of a normal wrestler due to my days in the military, I am a great all around wrestler that has been trained to handle himself well in ANY situation, and, of course, we can also take a look at my CTC career, but that's another story.

Heat: Yeah, isn't that where you jobbed to Matt Schneider and became his little b***h? Just kidding ese.

Karlos: Hey! Don't you disrespect my guest. Please, just spit that comment to the side Yuri. Now, there is no doubt in Karlos' mind that you will walk out of that ring the new Gaia Champ and at least then you'll get the respect you deserve. Which brings me to my next question, what's up with the TV title? Are you still the champ? Or has the title been thrown away like how Blade has been treating it, a piece of trash?

Yuri: Bah, Heat's just bitter that I'm going to be taking the title he no longer has. Anyway, my other title, the BTWF Television title, is completely shrouded in mystery. Sure, I threw it down after I decimated my former rival Red Comet, but hell, Blade hasn't said a damn word. So that means two things. One, I pretty much did Blade's job and retired the title for good or two, Blade is planning to hatch some kind of plan while using my career, AGAIN, to put over another one of his crazy ideas. s**t, I'm a title placeholder one minute and now I'm a reason to put over some insane new concept like the FS Championship, which I can't participate in. Bah. You're close to him right? Why don't you simply ask him yourself?

Heat: Yeah. We all know how close banana boy and the Boss are. Right Karlos?

Karlos: NO man! Karlos isn't like that. I don't play with the grapes or the banana. Karlos likes the melons! Just shut up. Anyways, I'm not close with that guy. Look, he called me, we chatted for a bit and then he offered me the job.

Heat: Was that before or after you two had your date?

Karlos: Listen up Mexican, you're about three seconds away from getting some fruit in the face. Speaking of facing, Yuri, you are the Combat Ace. A prime example of what Russian kool is like. If you could face any wrestlers in the BTWF today, who would they be and why?

Yuri: Who would I like to face? Well, someone who wasn't in CTC would be a nice refreshing start. You know, I left CTC to get away from that. I'm alright with you and Mexicano over there, but other than that, I wish to stay away from filth. A BTWF Wrestler? Perhaps I could face off against Maxwell Conners, show him what true perfection is all about. I could face off against Brian Blade if he weren't such a condescending dictator, he's not above me. I own Brian Blade. Also if he weren't a retired little pretty boy that depends on muscled men to protect him. Honestly, what's with him and those JFSF members? I don't want to know. Another wrestler would be Steve Twist. Why? Because I don't like him. He may feel like he's one of the best and he may have been in the world heavyweight title picture, but look at where he is now. Wrestling the entire Empty Promises faction. He's got no direction in the company and I may as well kick him down a few more notches so the BTWF can be given room for better superstars, such as yours truly and the rest of the Sabre Unit. But you know what? If not Steve Twist, Brian Blade, or Maxwell Conners, do you know who I could face? Darson Grays. Why? Simply because he's a walking Samoan Golem and I simply have a high threshold. I could also take his title, but then those CTC refugees will start demanding it and then things would get complicated and before you know it my next few opponents would be Red Comet, Red Comet, Red Comet, and Red Comet. You get the drift.

Heat- Talk about the one who complains about crap.. cough.. i mean, keep going!

Karlos: Karlos doesn't understand what people like about that Phenomenal Red Failure. He's not kool. You're right about Dars being the Samoan Golem man, he's just a puppet. No, better yet, he's just a big block with a World title and no brains. If Karlos still wrestled, I would easily take that title away from him and add some koolness to it. Seriously, he's going up against some mummy reject who was forced to play a zombie now in the BTWF. Which reminds me. Yuri, you've already made yourself a controversial figure here in the BTWF, but what exactly are your goals? What do you plan on achieving in your career?

Yuri: My goals? I wouldn't say I had any particular goals except to obtain some respect and to prove to everyone out there that just because a Samoan holds the top title in the business, it doesn't mean he's the best. Just because there's a flying wonderboy posing in an A.J. Styles costume out there, doesn't mean that he's the best. Everyone seems to base themselves off of other, probably better, wrestlers out there, including you, my friend. I want to truly shine as an individual, something the likes of Darson Grays can no longer do. He's just another Samoa Joe. Just like how The Heat is based off of Eddie Guerrero, just like how Voorhees is based off of Undertaker, just like how Maxwell Conners is based off of HBK, just like how Killa Kal is based off of John Cena/Triple H, just like how Steve Twist is based off of A.J. Style, just like how Austin Azure is based off of C.M. Punk and Austin Aries, do I need to go on? They bore me because they think they actually have a name to call their own but they don't. Me? You can't beat a former military Russian communist who's main goal is to simply be the best. No anti-American gimmick, no patriotic sunshine bullshit. And what better way to be the best than to actually be HIRED by people to accomplish goals on a daily basis? I'm talking about the Sabre Unit once again my friend. The greatest thing to hit the BTWF. What do you do when a wrestler is whining like a little girl? Hire the Sabre Unit. What do you do when you're up against overwhelming odds? Hire the Sabre Unit. Hell, the only real question is, "What doesn't the Sabre Unit do?" And with that being said, I've made my point quite clear.

Heat- Me a copy?...im not damn copy, im the Icon, you don't even get close to be a small neon ligth on some bitches boulevar.. what do you think about that K-Boy?

Karlos: Karlos? Based off someone else? You must be talking about that imposter Carlito Something Cool. But, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you based off something else just as bad, and that would be a video game character, known as Snake to many. Sure you just tweaked him a bit, you being Russian and all, but you basically seem based off of him. Well, before this get's anymore heated, which is something we welcome on the Kruise, but not at this very moment, I'm gonna switch to something else. Here's a picture sure to draw some readers/viewers. What wrestler in the BTWF do you hate the most and why?

Yuri: Whoa whoa whoa, hold on. Me based on a video game character? I'm going to tell you I'm 100% authentic. In CTC, I was Russian/Japanese, right now I'm Russian/Japanese, and for the rest of my life I will be simply Russian/Japanese. Sure, the whole military thing may seem similar to the world of Metal Gear Solid, but let's be reasonable. America went through the Cold War, so did Russia. So the odds of a Russian/Japanese being affected by the Cold War, especially after the bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, is no surprise. I was raised in Russia, no surprise. And they do indeed have programs there to raise children to fight. The average soldier nowadays is growing younger and younger by the day! Don't give me this Solid Snake nonsense because it is Solid bullshit. But anyway, you want to know which BTWF wrestler I hate most and why? I'm going to be honest. I hate all BTWF wrestlers. Mostly all of them. Why? Because all they do is complain. I have a right to since I'm being utterly misused, but them? They know they don't deserve the things they ask for. They know the truth. I do, you do, and hell, every one of our Gaia fans do. But do you want to know which one I hate the most? Kid Chaos. The guy has been obsessively making me the point of his agression. Preventing me from fighting Raymond Kage for my now retired Television title. Preventing me from winning ToGII. Preventing me from everything. The man needs to be taught a lesson. Personally I don't want to do it, but if no one else wants to step up, I guess I will have to. Sooner or later.

Heat- Ptttss... cough, lier, cough.

Karlos: Okay man, if you say you aren't Solid Snake, I believe you. And please, don't mention the guy who wears a cardboard p***s cut out for a mask. You seem to have alot of opinions, and Karlos likes that. Someone who speaks his mind. I was wondering, what music do you listen to and do you have any favorites?

Yuri: I wonder how exactly you jump from such an intense subject to a mellow topic about music. This isn't MTV (Though it isn't even a channel about music anymore). But if you really have to know, I'll tell you. You see despite being the tough guy that I am, despite the exterior I seem to push forward, I enjoy classical music. I also enjoy music that ranged within the 60's to the 90's in America. And of course some Japanese popular music and Russian Violin pieces. There are some exceptions to the crude and horrible songs I hear today in most countries. You know, those songs that talk about drugs, sex, and a bunch of random crap that I could do without. Degenerates. Bah. I still await the day for Gaia to actually bring in its own culture. I suppose all of their music died when that damn immigrant Granger (Probably related to the blasted CTC doctor) came in and went Manifest destiny on the place. Now I'm forced to listen to crap music all of the time due to the overwhelming popularity of Americans immigrating and touring in Gaia. Bah.

Karlos: Your right, that wasn't very intense, but this last one will be. What wrestler, in the BTWF, do you think one day will become World Champ, and face you in all your greatness, to put on one of the greatest matches ever?

Heat- If he manages to clone himself i swear he'll face his other dude then kiss his white a** all night...

Yuri: To wrap this up I will point out to certain people I think will be carrying the title one day. The one and only superstar that I feel has the right stuff to make it to the top. Regardless of how I feel about this man or what secrets he hides, this man is no doubt worthy of the World Heavyweight Championship. Not only is he entertaining to listen to, has a good work ethic, and doesn't completely bore me to death, regardless of the fact that he is in fact copying two other great wrestlers. Yes my friend I am talking about the one and only a*****e of the BTWF, Austin Azure. You see, despite what many feel, he has all the right stuff. He talks trash and can back it up. He can walk the walk, talk the talk, and much more. He's not running around with a stale gimmick like most of the other top superstars. Everyone makes jokes about Steve Twist and Darson Grays, they make comments about The Heat and Anthony Voorhees, but they never ever and I mean ever knock this guy around. I know everyone else on the BTWF roster respects him. Hell, if I can respect him I'm betting everyone has to. And of course, I would gladly face off with him one more time, hopefully without the assistance of a woman that should be making me a sandwich rather than headline with this phenomenal superstar. It would be a great match up, no doubt. He's good, very good, but let's not forget something. I'm better and that's all I have to say.

Karlos: Good pick my friend. Well, we here at the Karibbean Kruise would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to do this. And don't be a stranger, the next time Karlos interviews you, you might be wearing that Gaia Title and finally get the respect that you've been reprieved of for months.

Heat- Gaia Title?.. ha!, over my dead mexican a**!

Yuri: Might be? I will guarantee you that I'll be wearing that Gaia Title. Hell, I might even be wearing the World Heavyweight title if Brian Blade gets off his a** and recognizes talent when he sees it. Other than that, I would like to admit that this was fairly entertaining and sure beats the hell out of having to deal with the other CTC rejects. Don't forget about the Battle Royale at Fade-to-Black. I'll also win. Two matches, one night. Salutations from the Combat Ace and good luck with your whole "Karribean Krusade", or whatever this little bit is called.

Heat: You just might beat that lucky loser, but come on, would a guy who became Matt Schneider's b***h actually hold on to it? You should just quit and form a rock Russian band with the Sabre Unit and dress up like army guys.

Karlos: Anyways, next time we'll, yes I said "we" since I've taken a liken to this mexican. Though you may be the Heat, Karlos is the Kool. Next time you see us for the Kruise, we'll be interviewing the winner of the CTC Battle Royale. So, this is Karlos saying stay kool people.......Karibbean Kool.

Heat- Oh you like me babana boy?.. here, want some?

Karlos- Don't make me kill you, Karlos isn't a killer.

Heat- No, Karlos is Blades...

Thhhsssksss.... We fade.

MxC Magazine

Well, well, well, once more we have another PPV and once more i, the damn best thing ever happened to this 2 cent place will speak about them, is weird since the editor tough i was done with the Magazine, but with bubbles somewhere eating banana splits someone has to keep this alive, anyway im here to do just that, give a review of the upcoming ppv, so i don't give a tiny rats a** if anyone gets angry, now lets begin.

BTWF Maximun Carnage
Live on PPV on December 2nd,2005


Okay, first thing first... This is Maximun Carnage... but i don't see a real carnage around... xcept for one match, the rest are just walks in the park, but seriously what anyone can wait of a ppv if The Heat is not on the card?, nothing, you can switch to the grass growing contest and you'll have more fun there... also i don't see anything maximun in it, i prefer to read Maxime and i'll have more fun there... anyway let's hit it, the first match is a... sleeper hold... sigh.

Winner Receives $20000
Eclipse vs Ice vs Rogue

Ok so, 3 nobodys fighting for that?, if they are in need why not they go to the HF, we support the poor and less fortunate. But oh well, something may happen here, who knows, i say this match is the perfect oportunity to grab what you'll need for the rest of the night, nachos, sodas, tacos, tamales etc, also if you want you can turn to ESPN... i believe the they'll have the entire review of the NFL season. My pick?... hmmm, well Eclipse can do something i think, Ice is cold on that one and Rogue... hmm.. who is rogue anyway?, bah.

Heat says-Eclipse, he really needs the money. ( Tax Problems )

Cral Cool/Unknown vs T.R.S

Hahaha... now this is fun, nobody and i mean it, nobody wanted to tag with Cral, why?, because no one likes to lose, this match will be the Squash of the year Match-, haha, i remember i saw a flyier on the backstage, showers, walls...all over the place, hmph, poor dude, no one wanted to tag with him, he even dared to ask me, ME!!!, of course i said no, i don't mix with such people, of course with me there the match was in our pockets but naaah, he must learn to lose.

Icon says- The Renegadez in a record time!.

Match 1 in the Best of 5
Killa K vs Sesame Meat Guy

Oooooookay, the fun begins here and im glad because i was about to drop the pen, head down to the bar and get wasted, heh, as i was saying, my vato, one of the Three Amigos, Killa K, the Twister-Killer!! vs... who?, well it doesn't matter actually, Killa is the real deal here and he'll take the match, the encore.... everything!. I remember our old times, we never had the chance to be in the same match together but we had respect for each other and we still do. Killa is coming strong, with a lot to win and nothing to lose, Sesame on the other hand has a lot to lose, i mean on RB he lost, now he'lllose again, bad way to start but hell, no one is as good as me.

Marvel says- I think that Jin and i will have pizza, cokes, icecream and a lot more to enjoy this one, we might even tape it then play jokes and mock the vato with it if he has a mistake there, heh, so yeah, Kal all the way.

BTWF FS Division Championship
Ladder Match
Hell's Guardian vs Red Comet

Ooooooh, another good one, Cometa Rojo, Mr Fantasia vs ummm... well the fact that matters here is that Rojo is there, i remember our first match we had loooong ago in mexico, he jumped and dropkicked me, i was like wtf, i rushed and got up but he was already behind me, hehehe, good memories yeah... and now years later a more mature, more powerful and more clever Rojo will face Hell's Lady, in a quick and sided match, go Rojo and do your thing!.

Aztec says- Rouge to win!.

D.Grays/Frost/Riona vs Voorhees/Shadow/Hika

What do we have here... what do we have here... Baby Grays, Snowcone and the mama vs Hombre Muerto, Shadow and the gothic chick... hmm, hmmm, hmm,... i was waiting for this match to happen but not as big as this... Hombre Muerto is the Legendary Vato who defeated the Undefeatable Darson... and Dars is.... the loser who lost against my vato so.. there is a lot of potential in this match, Baby is angry and ready to go, as i expected Frosty Cone is with him, i mean daah, how obvious... and the lady langly... but in the other hand we have Antonio, the supercharged zombie, we have his dark chica... btw hika if you read this, Ari says she needs the candles back... there i did it... oh and we have Shadow... hmmm well im not very sure about Shadow being there but oh heel... i normally don't like brawls or matches with more than 3 people in it but this one has the proper ingredients to be the match of the night!.

Magic One says- Antonios team, all the way and after the defeat we can expect another exile from baby... oh and Tony's team dancing on the ring -Thriller- style.

BTWF Unified World's Heavyweight Championship
No DQ Three Way Dance
Bryan Kutterman vs Yuri Yurievich vs KC

Finally... the last match of the show, and as i said a month ago, this is still a lame match, i asked to be in this match to add some hot sauce but OBVIOUSLY someone is protecting someone... , meh ... anyway... Bryan is not much of a challenge... and i k ow a lot about the subject...after 3 or 4 failed attemps he'll start to get distracted, to lose focus and he'll be history, next we have KC, a sewer dweller with crazy ideas... still not a challenge, as someone once said... a dog will always be treated as a dog... hahaha... and finally we have Yuri... Yurie-b***h.. cough i mean Yurievich... hehe... well, Yuri has no real challenge here, this is almost a handicap match... maybe Bladeboy should add Phatu and Kat on Bryans side to make it even, haha... otherwise KC will be trying to catch his own tail all night, meanwhile Bryan sings sons of the south... poor Yuri, i pity you, the very first title defense and you have to defend it against Dumb and Dumber.

HoT oNe says- Boooooooring as hell, we already know Yuri wins... bah.

Finl Veredict

This ppv is not bad but isn't the 8 wonder of the world either, mainly because the Icon is not there, second because the only 2 good matches aren't on the ME place, or because the moon is not on the proper place... anyway this MxC isn't that exiting, i wonder what is bladeboy thinking, to make MxC, a ppv The Icon made famous!, without me, The Heat?... well i don't care, i give this a star rating.

HS Inc. 2005 TM.