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 Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:00 pm
I really do because i want to cut ties with the guy who raped me but i find it hard to for some reason i just dont understand why i still feel the need to talk to him or for him to still be around. Because i really do want him out of my life i know it will be better for me, my firends, & my bf.
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 6:41 pm
I've never figured out completely why, but I know how it feels. i think you've become emotionally attached, because, you don't want him to just 'throw you away' or anything like that. It's hard to do, but it's really for the best.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:10 am
Often when there is no closure you hold on to negative things until you can achieve that closure. Maybe you want to know why you? Why this happened? What his reasoning was, you may be holding on because subconsciously your mind is trying to seek answers that only he will know.
It could very well be as the other user posted you just don't want to feel thrown away, disregarded after being used.
Could be something along the lines of a Stockholm syndrome, where you can empathize with your attacker, feel emotion for them come to love them, trust them although it certainly doesn't sound like this because often in these cases the abused person does not want to leave.
Ultimately I think you have to find the root of what compels you to be near him, or have him around. When you find out what that attachment is you can have a better plan of action to get away because if you don't find out you will only be drawn back until that fulfillment or need is met.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:39 pm
Semper Amor Meus Maritus Often when there is no closure you hold on to negative things until you can achieve that closure. Maybe you want to know why you? Why this happened? What his reasoning was, you may be holding on because subconsciously your mind is trying to seek answers that only he will know. It could very well be as the other user posted you just don't want to feel thrown away, disregarded after being used. Could be something along the lines of a Stockholm syndrome, where you can empathize with your attacker, feel emotion for them come to love them, trust them although it certainly doesn't sound like this because often in these cases the abused person does not want to leave. Ultimately I think you have to find the root of what compels you to be near him, or have him around. When you find out what that attachment is you can have a better plan of action to get away because if you don't find out you will only be drawn back until that fulfillment or need is met.
1) the actual rape
2) my current bf doesn't belive me when i say it happens
those posts are still up on the board if you want more backround on my current wuestion.
I have talked to him about it. He said it was like it wasn't even him and that he didn't know why he even did it. I've tried pulling away several times from him but for some reason i'm always drawn back to him despite the fact i don't want to be still talking or near him.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:41 pm
Akikko I've never figured out completely why, but I know how it feels. i think you've become emotionally attached, because, you don't want him to just 'throw you away' or anything like that. It's hard to do, but it's really for the best. Its just a strange draw to him. Its not emotional but kinda this wierd subconciese thought that i should still contact him despite the ******** up things he has done 2 me.
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:31 am
I have had that happen to me only once. And I went and saw a counseller. I think you should do the same. It's not healthy to be attached to a rapist. He can and probably will do it again. I also recommend you press charges.
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