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 Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 4:16 pm
ooc| um, this's the starting of a story i'm working on. it's all i'll put out here; just wondering if my writing needs work. please leave comments, good or bad, or i might die of some attention-needed-and-not-gotten disease. gonk
It's a toad. Right? Toad? Or just an ugly frog? Whatever. I need my watermelon back, anyway.
"Mr Toad/Frog?" I ask. His water eyes turn to me, unblinking. I smile a yellow smile. "Where's my melon?"
Distorted excuses drip out of his gaping mouth and flop onto the floor. They wriggle and squirm, trying to breath the thick air. I stare at them.
"What was that? I didn't understand you, Mr Toad/Frog. Would you please repeat yourself?"
More muffled babbling start to yell at me. I continue to stare. "Well then, I guess I'll have to get my wants back myself." I stab the toad/frog with a spontaneously located and rusty knife; he jerks uncontrollably for a couple seconds, falls, twitches, and melts. I dip my hand into the toad/frog juice and carefully lift up a yellowed eye. I place it into my pocket.
"Thank you." My smile is now red. What's with all these damn dreams? He turned over, whining into the careless, cold floor, angry that he was again woken up by his dream. The same one had been haunting him for the past month, night after night, after night.
With another sigh the boy sat up and ruffled up his multi-colored hair. Might as well get up, he thought. Not like I'm gonna get back to sleep, anyway.
He got to his feet, took a quick trip to the bathroom, and jumped down the stairs of the large shared mansion down to the living room. "Hallao!" he shouted while cupping his hands to his mouth. There was no reply, so he took another deep breath before bellowing, "GOOD MORNING, MIDDLE EARTH!"
"Kuosuke! Shut the ******** up and clean out the living room!"
//~//
I sighed after shoving the last box into the corner of the attic. The final chore of the day, done. I fell onto my back and stretched out my arms. My whole body was sore; Mrs Gibson really piled on the work today. I yawned, and then closed my eyes. This attic heat really got a person sleepy...
"LIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
Oh, God. Tommy the Terror. I slowly got up and made my way down to the living room, where, sure enough, the 7 year-old boy was. He stood by the doorway, though instead of his usual bratty scowl he wore a depressed face.
"What's wrong, Tommy?" I tried to hide the mockery in my voice, seeing as Mrs Gibson was right there. "Your favorite toy broken or something?"
"Don't act like you don't know," he mumbled. I looked questioningly at the old lady next to him.
She gave me a sad smile. "Dear, you don't work for me anymore."
\~\
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait." Kuosuke glared at the 5 intricately designed vases he held in his hand, all stacked up into a dangerously wobbling tower. "I got this."
Aron Nobakov sighed and snatched away the bottom one, leaving his friend only seconds to catch the remaining four. "Hurry up and put this s**t away; Olive wants this room to be the cleanest tonight."
"Wow. You're doing this for Olive?"
"No, I'm not doing this for Vegetable Boy, idiot. Dad's coming."
"Oh, right. What time?" Kuosuke walked around the room, finding random tables to set the vases on.
Aron plopped onto a nearby couch and tossed his own vase repeatedly into the air. "He said around midnight, but it still depends on whether he runs into traffic or not."
"Traffic?" Kuosuke snorted.
Aron smirked. "Yeah, traffic."
gah. this is confusing. i guess i tend to do that a lot. but soon as i write down more, i'll try to clear things up. [limited computer time] D;
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 8:33 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:03 pm
I'm a bit confused as to what's going on, but I expect that further additions to the story will clarify that.
So far, interesting.
Relax. Don't be impatient for people to comment.
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:00 pm
-nodnod- Yeah, it is confusing so far. But I'm writing more, so hopefully things'll get clearer. Thanks for the comment. 3nodding
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