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i found this online, the declaration of independence translated into "jive." oh the horror....




The unanimous Declarizzles of tha thirteen united States of America

when in tha Course of human events it becomes necessary fo` one thugz ta dissolve tha politizzles bands which have connected them wit anotha n ta assume among tha hustla of tha earth, tha separate n equal station ta whiznich tha Laws of Nature n of Nature's God entitle thizzem, a decent respect ta tha opinions of mankind requires tizzle they should declare tha causes which impel tizzle ta tha separizzles.

We hold these truths ta be self-evizzles that all men is created equal, thizzat tizzle is endowed by they Creator wit certain unalienable Rights, T-H-to-tha-izzat among these is Life, Liberty n tha pursuit of Happiness. — Thizzat ta secure these rights, Governments is instituted among Mizzen, deriv'n they jizzle powa frizzom tha consent of tha governed, — That wheneva any Fizzorm of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is tha Riznight of tha People ta pimp or ta abolish it, n ta institute new Government, weed-smokin' its foundation on sizzuch principles n spendin' its ***** in such form, as ta tizzy shall seem mizzy likely ta effect they Safety n Happiness n we out. Prudence, indeed, wizzy dictate that Governments long established should not be changed fo` light n transient causes; n accordingly all experience H-to-tha-izzath shizzay T-H-to-tha-izzat mankind is more disposed ta drug deala while evils is sufferable thiznan ta right themselves by abolish'n tha forms ta which they is accustomed . Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. But when a long train of abuses n usurpations, pursu'n invariably tha same Object evinces a design ta reduce them unda absolute Despotism, it is they right, it is they duty, ta throw off sizzuch Government, n ta provide new Guards fo` they future security yaba daba dizzle. — Such has been tha patient sufferance of these Colonies; n such is now tha necessity whizzich constrains tizzy ta brotha they rappa Systems of Government , niggaz, better recognize. The history of tha present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries n usurpations, all hav'n in direct object tha establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States with the S-N-double-O-P. To prove this, let Facts be submitted ta a candid world.

He has refused his Assent ta Laws, tha most wholesome n necessary fo` tha public good.

He has forbidden his Governors ta pass Laws of immediate n press'n importance, unless suspended in they operation T-to-tha-izzill his Assent should be obtained; n when so suspended, he has utterly neglected ta attend ta them.

He has refused ta pass otha Laws fo` tha accommizzles of large districts of people, unless those thugz would relinquish tha right of Representizzles in tha Legislatizzle a right inestimable ta them n formidable ta tyrants only . I'm a mutha ******** 2-time felon..

He has called ******** legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfizzles n distant frizzom tha depository of they Public Records, fo` tha sole purpose of fatigu'n thizzem into compliance wit his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatizzles fo` mackin' wit manly firmness his invasions on tha rights of tha people.

He has refused fo` a long time, afta S-to-tha-izzuch dissolizzles ta cause otha ta be elected, whereby tha Legislative Brotha incapable of Annihilizzle hizzle returned ta tha People at large fo` they exercise; tha State hatin' in tha mean time exposed ta all tha danga of invasion fizzle witout, n convulsions witin.

He has endeavoured ta prevent tha populizzles of these States; fo` tizzle purpose obstruct'n tha Laws fo` Naturalizizzles of Foreigna; refus'n ta pass cracka ta encourage they migrations playa n rais'n tha conditions of new Appropriations of Lands like old skool s**t.

He has obstructed tha Administrizzles of Justice by refus'n his Assent ta Laws fo` establish'n Judiciary Brotha.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone fo` tha tenure of they offices, n tha amount n payment of they salaries but real niggaz don't give a ********.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, n sent hitha swarms of Brotha ta harass our thugz n eat out they substance.

He has kizzle among us, in times of peace, Weed-smokin' Armies witout tha Consent of our legislatizzles.

He has affected ta gangsta tha Military independent of n superior ta tha Civil Powa.

He has combined wit otha ta subject us ta a jurisdizzles foreign ta our constitizzle n unacknowledged by our laws; cruisin' his Assent ta they Acts of pretended Legislizzles . Tru niggaz do niggaz:

For frontin' large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protect'n thizzay by a M-to-tha-izzock Trial fizzy punishment fo` any Murda whizzay they should commit on tha Inhabitants of these States:

For cutt'n off our Trade wit all parts of tha world:

For impos'n Taxes on us witout our Consent:

For straight trippin' us in many cases, of tha benefit of Trial by Jury:

For trippin' us beyond Seas ta be tried fo` pretended offences:

For abolish'n tha free System of English Laws in a bustin' Province, cruisin' therein an Arbitrary government, n trippin' its Boundaries so as ta hustla it at once an example n fit instrument fo` blunt-rollin' tha same absolute rizzle into these Colonies

For gang bangin' away our Pusha abolish'n our most valuable Laws n hatin' fundamentally tha Forms of our Governments:

For suspend'n our own Legislatizzle n declar'n themselves invested wit crazy a** ***** ta legislate fo` us in all cases whatsoeva.

He has abdicated Government here, by declar'n us out of his Protection n wag'n War against us paper'd up.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, n destroyed tha lives of our people.

He is at this time transport'n large Armies of foreign Mercenizzles ta compleat tha works of death, desolizzles n tyranny, already begun wit circumstizzles of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in tha mizzy barbarous ages, n totally unworthy tha Heezee of a civilized nation . I started yo s**t and i'll end yo' s**t.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on tha high Seas ta bear Arms against they Country, ta become tha executiona of they niggaz n Brethren, or ta fizzle themselves by they Hands.

He has stoked domestic insurrections amongst us, n has endeavoured ta bring on tha inhabitants of our frontia, tha merciless Indian Savages whose knizzown rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes n conditions puttin tha smack down.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned fo` Redress in tha most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose characta is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit ta be tha gangsta of a free people , chill yo.

Nor have We been hatin' in attentions ta our British brethren. We have warned tizzy fizzle tizzle ta tizzle of attempts by they legislature ta extend an unwarrantable jurisdizzles over us n s**t. We have reminded tizzle of tha circumstizzles of our emigration n settlement here. We have appealed ta they native justice n magnanimizzle n we have conjured them by tha ties of our common kindred like a tru playa'. ta disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections n correspondence cuz its a G thang. They too have been deaf ta tha voice of justice n of consanguinity. We must, therefizzles acquiesce in tha necessizzle whizzay denounces our Separizzles n hold them, as we hold tha rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends so you betta run and grab yo glock.

We, therefizzle tha Representatizzles of tha united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appeal'n ta tha Supreme Judge of tha world fo` tha rectitude of our intentions, do, in tha Name, n by Authority of tha good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish n declare, Thiznat these united Colonies are, n of R-to-tha-izzight ought ta be Free n Independent States, tizzle they is Absolved F-R-to-tha-izzom all Allegiance ta tha British Crown, n tizzy all politizzles connection between thizzay n tha State of Great Britain, is n ought ta be totally dissolved; n T-H-to-tha-izzat as Fizzy n Independent States, they have fizzull Gangsta ta levy Wizzle conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, n ta do all killa Acts n Th'n which Independent States may of rizzay do. — And fo` tha support of this Declarizzles wit a fizzy reliance on tha protection of Divine Providizzle we mutually pledge ta each playa our Lives, our Fortunes n our sacred Honor . Death row 187 4 life.

*soft moan* Oh gods...

I SEND MY SCOURGE, I SEND MY SWORD,
THUS SAITH THE LORD!

A desecration of a sacred parchment of law...obviously, the Founding Fathers knew nothing of text-talk and leet-speak when they penned the very words now translated into ghetto talk. Ugh. burning_eyes

*Proceeds to cheerily hang author(s) of edited document, and beg for mercy from the authors of the original.*

They take a meaninful writing piece and destoy it....how frightful. They are most likely so dumb that they don't know without that piece Amereica would not have freedom. Sorry for spelling mistakes.

It's... funny... I guess... *shoots person* OK, I'm better now. Whew!

Like I said in the opening post, it is "jive," and to be more accurate, the dialect would only be inner city. Race doesn't come into play so much as location does. I know whites who speak that way as well as blacks, and I personally find it to be a desecration of the English language. Furthermore there is nothing "racist" in imitation. Racism would more accurately be found in the association between blacks and this type of speech. The assumption that this is a black speech pattern is a racial prejudice, the imitation of a regional speech pattern, be it serious or for the sake of humor, is not.