Welcome to Gaia! ::

That's a tough situation. I can't say that I blame him for being skeptical. I think I would be too if I were him just because I highly doubt I would talk to a rapist again, but people do handle these things differently, so it is tough to say. He might just need time to accept and understand it.

You still talk to this guy? Yikes. Yeah, I can't blame him for finding that hard to believe then. No offense, but I don't think I would believe it if I were him either. Like I said though, I guess everyone responds differently. Just because I do not think that I would talk to someone who raped me does not mean other people wouldn't I suppose. xp Maybe you could talk to him about why you still talk to this guy. Explain how you feel about it all.

And he wont listen, most guys(including myself) have to admit that if there girlfriend said they got raped by there Ex and still keep in contact. Well that kinds of explain it, In my case. If I was your boyfriend i would simple go up to your Ex and force him to spit the story and if he did rape you, kick the unholy day lights out of him. If he did't rape then i would be extremly upset about the abuse of trust. But that would be me in his situation.

No problem, a lot of guys get quite jealous very easily due to insecurity or don't want to risk loosing what they have. But they also don't like being played around and mocked, he may see it as a terrible insult espcially if people in your school talk about what happen. Different views can be approached and he make feel worse about each one, or he might no believe you when you never reported to the police that you were raped which is the normal proccedure

Well he may see it that you didt report it because it wasn't rape in his eyes. And it will be very hard for him to trust you know because of it unless you bring it too the police and make a fuss about it. But you did't so he assumes that you did't care about getting raped. Know i definely know you do care about it, since you brought it up here and it takes a lot of courage to do that. But he wont change his view untill you make a move against what is being done against you. There are a number of steps you have to take.
1) cut all connection with your Ex, ignore the fact he is even alive.
2)report you were raped by the police and tell them that it happened, but dont expect them to help you unless it happens again.But make sure they know about it.
3)Get a restriction order on your Ex, This will help your boyfriend easy up and start to believe you.
4)SUE THE a** OF THE B*****D AND TAKE EVERYTHING FROM HIM, GIVE HIM A BAD NAME SO HE WILL NEVER EVER GET A GIRLFRIEND.

If that happen in ireland though, we have our own private ways to stop rapist in there acts. Usualy it involves a Heavy mallet and them tied down with there legs apart. You can kindad get the picture. If you want to talk more about what happen, dont be afraid to PM. Il try and be as helpfull and supportive as i can as the rest of this guild can be too.

But why do you keep in contact, it doenst make sense unless theres a different version of the stockholm affect that i dont know about it

I think I can understand as to why you still stick around your ex. It's not that uncommon for rape victims to stay around their rapists. If they got rejected by them, it would cause them immense pain because, well, that would mean the rapist just took what they wanted and didn't even think twice about the actual person. My aunt was abused by her father for many, many years, and she still lives next door to him. It's like, you depend on that person, even if you despise them because they hurt you. It's hard to explain, but I'll just let you know that you're not the only one who does it.

That does not mean that it is healthy for you to stay around him. I agree; you should cut all ties with him. It will be rather difficult, but, in the long-run, it will prevent unwanted happenings and hurt with him.

As for your boyfriend, if he doesn't believe you, it means your trust is not strong between each other. Sit him down and explain to him that it hurts you that he doesn't believe you. Let him know that rape, unfortunately, does happen to normal people -- and the way that he doesn't believe you only hurts you further. If he doesn't believe you still, it means you two have a very weak trust, and relationships have a lot to do with that. It might be best to cut it off if he refuses to listen.

I know a lot of men have an issue with wanting to think that their significant others may have been violated, because it is painful for them too. They don't want to think about all the pain that guy inflicted on you, and after they find out, they'll probably want to kill him. But, he needs to understand that you need him to believe in you so you have someone to lean on and trust. Women are no different; many can't believe their boyfriends have ever been raped.

Anyway, it's all about trust. Good luck. :3