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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 7:03 pm
THE DAY THE PUPPY DIED
A poem by Elenwye
It was a sunny day and the sky was blue,
The tall grass swayed in the excess dew,
The flowers rose and bloomed anew
On that day the puppy died.
The wind blew softly through the trees
With the droning sound of honeybees
But all I could hear was that sad, sad wheeze
On the day the puppy died.
The bluebird skirting ‘bout the ground
Chasing grubs and worms around
He makes a chirp but not a sound
From the pup the day he died.
The spider weaving spindled web
Cares not for what was done or said
That made the puppy cold and dead
Or how the puppy died.
Perhaps it was a foul disease.
To add to the list of his miseries,
It was revealed that there were fleas
On the puppy the day it died.
The days pass by, the sky grows grey
The sun lasts longer every day
The puppy's flesh has gone away
Since the day that the puppy died
The grass grows long, the web is fine
The bluebird waits upon the line,
The breeze still wails, the sun still shines,
Who cares that the puppy died?
>__< I know, it's kind of dumb....but I like it. ^_^
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 10:18 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 11:30 am
you should described the puppies death a little more, no wait that would be gorey DX
good use of description to everything else, though. if your puppy is really dead i feel bad for you and the puppy. emo
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:19 pm
[m-i-h-a-r-u] you should described the puppies death a little more, no wait that would be gorey DX good use of description to everything else, though. if your puppy is really dead i feel bad for you and the puppy. emo xD My point was to contrast a perfectly happy, sunny day with something tragic; the puppy's death. I'm not a big fan of gore, but that's just me. ^_^; Thank you so much for your advice! mrgreen D: But two of my dogs did die in December. So I feel a bit sad now. ; _;
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:20 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 10:34 am
Wow, I really like it. It's so true.
This is a fresh breath of air from most of the poetry I see on Gaia. In actually involved you having a thought and clearly expressing it. Nice.
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:53 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:02 pm
crying poor puppy. Im really sad now.
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:08 pm
Yoshinori_Rinoa crying poor puppy. Im really sad now. ;_; Kind of upset me too..
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:12 pm
Yoshinori_Rinoa crying poor puppy. Im really sad now. D: I'm sorry...I didn't mean for it to be too upsetting, but when you're wiritng about a dead puppy...well, you know. ^^;
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:53 pm
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:54 am
Hmmm...for some reason, I related this to people. o-o; Does that make me weird?
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:03 pm
Kiiska Hmmm...for some reason, I related this to people. o-o; Does that make me weird? What do you mean?
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Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:46 pm
Elenwye Kiiska Hmmm...for some reason, I related this to people. o-o; Does that make me weird? What do you mean? I mean, I saw the puppy as a person, who isn't PHYSICALLY dying, but like dying on the inside. And everyone else is going about their lives not noticing or caring. XD; Am I making sense?
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:40 am
Kiiska Elenwye Kiiska Hmmm...for some reason, I related this to people. o-o; Does that make me weird? What do you mean? I mean, I saw the puppy as a person, who isn't PHYSICALLY dying, but like dying on the inside. And everyone else is going about their lives not noticing or caring. XD; Am I making sense? xD Very much sense, actually, you sort of nailed it on the head. XP Hehe, I am so very EMOOO! D:
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