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 Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 6:52 pm
I've been meaning to say this for about two and a half years now, I'm not even sure that I should be saying this now, but there's a little voice inside me, that keeps telling me it's a good idea, so here it all goes:
I came to the CoM during possibly the worst period of my life. I'd just failed out of school, had a major hospital stay, and was working at a dead-end job to pay the bills. This is place is a heaven, this place is like my heaven, my haven from all the horrible things that've happend, and the horrible things that I am.
That being said, Church of Mods, I am a transexual. More specifically a male to female transexual. More specifically than than, an intersexed male to female transexual. I was born with semi-ambigous genitalia that, shortly after birth, was mascinulized, and that I plan on having corrected as soon as it becomes economically feasible.
Why is this so late in comming? Well, for one before I've come here, I haven't had a single positive reaction to me. When I came out to my parents, I was informed that I'll always be loved, but after college, I was excepted to move away and not come back. The first human being, in the whole world, who didn't reject me is our very own Deep Vermillion, and for that I'll love him forever.
Some members of the church already have known, some haven't. I've been too afraid, despite everyone reacting wonderfully to me, to be able to have a public statement like this. I'm still afraid, I'm trembling while I write this, but I think, it needs to be done for my self-concept, and my self-acceptance. There are people that I'm extremely close to that didn't know, to them I say, I'm terribly sorry. I am, first and foremost frightened of people, and what they'll do when they find out.
That is it, I guess. This is me, this is who I am.
~Ami Ann Ward.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 6:56 pm
*hugs* You're our Amy.
You're awesome, and in knowing more about you, you're much stronger for making through all that alive.
I'm so very glad to know you.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 6:59 pm
And we love you for who you are, not for what is currently between your legs. We love you.
If you haven't already, talk to Fae/Nicole. She's amazing, and its been wonderful watching her become who she really is -- and not what she was expected to be. She also has a ton of resources that she's been working on.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:05 pm
Nuri If you haven't already, talk to Fae/Nicole. She's amazing, and its been wonderful watching her become who she really is -- and not what she was expected to be. She also has a ton of resources that she's been working on. Actually... :Sweat: I've been giving psuedo-advice to Nikki for a while. Although, she's a much stronger person than I am, she doesn't need any help from me. heart Thank you, though. Both of you. <3
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:26 pm
You are who you are, and among Modists, you're loved for that, not your genitalia, and this comes from someone with GREAT love for genitalia.
I'm glad you found the courage to do this. And if anyone says anything untoward to you, several people will do all sorts of unpleasant things to them, I can assure you. But I don't think anyone cares, really. All we care about is that you're kind, funny, sweet, friendly, helpful, geeky and intelligent.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:28 pm
Ruevian You are who you are, and among Modists, you're loved for that, not your genitalia, and this comes from someone with GREAT love for genitalia. I'm glad you found the courage to do this. And if anyone says anything untoward to you, several people will do all sorts of unpleasant things to them, I can assure you. But I don't think anyone cares, really. All we care about is that you're kind, funny, sweet, friendly, helpful, geeky and intelligent. Thank you. <3 You should know, that it was in-part because of the conversations I've had over the last week with you, that I've had the bravey to do this. heart
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:31 pm
Amy RuffleFluff Thank you. <3 You should know, that it was in-part because of the conversations I've had over the last week with you, that I've had the bravey to do this. heart I'm not sure how I did it, but I'm glad I did. You have many friends that you can lean on and ask advice of and just be around. If you need anything, PM me. But I think you'll be surprised at how many people will support and sympathize with you, and your list of people to PM may just grow after this.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 8:46 pm
I love you, Amy, and I always will, no matter the organs. Because girly bits and boy bits are equally squishy. <3
But seriously. I adore you. Never worry. We love you.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:06 pm
Ruevian You are who you are, and among Modists, you're loved for that, not your genitalia Heartily agreed. I think it's safe to say the Modists stand firm beside you.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:16 pm
*hugs* Good for you!
I know I'm not around much, but I think it's awsome...that you can say this, and in doing so I think you showed how much strength you have.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 10:24 pm
You've nothing to fear from us Amy heart
We love people for what they bring to conversation and in general the time spent, not(as more then one person has stated) what is between their legs. In general the modists seem to be incredibly accepting of everyone(hell they put up with me razz )
That said, I always look forward to seeing you in the thread and will continue to do so heart
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 10:44 pm
*hugs!*
You are amazing. I'm so glad you have this place - and I'm glad to be a part of it. You don't need to apologize. At least, not to me.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 11:28 pm
I'm sorry, people are people. If others around you can't see that, they can't see it.
But here at the CoM, it looks like people do see that, more often than not. I'm glad you found yourself a sanctuary where you can be yourself, and be with friends. *hugs*
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 3:33 am
*HUGS*
You know how I feel already, hon. Certainly -I- am not going to reject you.
And *thbtbtbt*, for beating me on this one; I'm in nearly the same position. I'm older than Amy, which means I may never get -any- of this fixed, but hope springs eternal. smile Most of the folks I chatter with regularly are aware of my situation... and that it lies at the root of my particularly volatile temperment. I'd been pondering 'fessing up, since anyone that's friended me on LJ has access to all of the information if they went rummaging... but honestly it hadn't seemed necessary. This is my home, and is one of the last 'safe' places I have. With Otakon around the corner it was going to become obvious anyway. :p
Love me or hate me, the personality you see here is a fair representation of me... snarkiness and all. You've all been dear friends. I consider more than a few of you to be family.
Congratulations on the courage to step forward, Amy; it's the first real step in coming to terms with your future. Remember that you're never alone.
~Elisabeth
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 4:47 am
Dear Amy, I don't know you so well, but I really am terribly sorry for the @@#%%# that didn't respond positively. They should have. I mean... Being yourself is the greatest thing in the world. You should be able to just be who you are without all that crap. evil
I come from a country where these sort of thing are fairly accepted, so many of my friends are transgender or transexual or transfestites or gay or bi or pansexual or what ever! ... and really I don't care that much, as long as they are happy and feel like they can be themselves. They are just squishy bits. (I laughed so hard when you said that Kyraa! heart )
hugs from Sandra
PS. Hugs for Ellie too! heart You both are fabulous and amazing!
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