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RaiRai

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:07 am


Haven't really thought about it in depth until recently, but I'm actually quite afraid of a lot of things nearing the end of my pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just being silly or if other people are experiencing the same thing, so I thought I'd make this thread for people to discuss their pregnancy fears and hopefully gain some support. I know I need it!

Fears.

Childbirth. I mean, I know he's got to come out somewhere, but why did God make it so that they come out there? And that it's so painful? I've been trying to make my partner realize just how scared I am about the whole thing, but I don't think he can quite imagine it from my perspective.

For those who've already birthed, what did you do to take the pain off of your mind? Did you feel like giving up? How well would you say you were able to deal with the pain? And seriously, because right now I can't even imagine it, you'll know when and how to push, right?
PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 10:12 am


Well, I will say if your fears are pretty bad, I recommend taking some childbirth classes to learn the various techniques and maybe even talk to other expectant mothers! Also, look into doula services.

I think we all had that fear! It's not that it went away, I think, but after it's all said and done, once you have that baby in your arms, it melts away. I just tried (tried being the key word, ha) to focus on my breathing and take it one contraction at a time.

You're definitely not alone in this fear! Just don't let it overwhelm you. heart

lunashock


Spiral Out

PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:51 am


I agree with Luna, the pain is something that you'll likely never forget, but when you see your baby for the first time you can't really focus on anything else.

I personally reccomend an epidural, very highly. I'm a pretty big wimp and I don't know what I would have done without one. Contractions are awful if you're in labor for a long time (I think I was for about six hours) and that's almost instant relief until it's time to push. The pain comes back then, but it's also time to get down to buisness at that point, so it's not so much just waiting around with the worst cramps... evar.

The thing that helped me the very most was when my actual OB doctor walked in and helped out. He basically yelled at me and told me to just do it xd And then I did!

I never took childbirth classes and I wish that I had, just to help me be a little more prepared.
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:40 am


If you are allowed freedom of movement you might not even need an epidural. I didn't have one with my second, I had two half shots of stadol early on, but I had a really horrible freaking chest cold and for a bit there the contractions got too hard to breath through, but then the cough medicine they gave me kicked in. XD

But either way, I think we all go through that point, we are all...OH THANK THE GODS! as it gets closer and closer and then we go...oh ******** wait a minute...no stay in stay in...VETO!

The biggest thing is to read about it, learn about it as best you can and then just try to freaking forget about it until it happens. Seriously. Find something to consume your time if you can. Because it is NEVER EVER how you think it is going to be or how books tell you it SHOULD be. So just know your options, know what can and might happen and then just try your DAMNDEST to put it out of your mind.

And when it comes be ready to roll with it. Sure, lots of women want an ideal unmedicated pregnancy where they are glowy and strong and able to just handle the pain like it's nothing. But if you need an epidural just be ready to get one, don't beat yourself up about decisions you make in the heat of the moment to get by. 3nodding

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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:49 am


It all depends on individual pain tolerance, honestly. I've always been good about managing my own pain so birth didn't phase me so much. Though I had terrible monster contractions, like the ones of induced infamy...but it was just my personal body's way of doing it. They lasted over 2 minutes each and would be so bad I'd double over and had a hard time remembering to breath. They started off early like this--almost 12 hours before Ethan was actually born. Now my mother on the other hand only had back labor and those contractions are more like menstrual cramps and far less intense.

I was worried about it before--that's only natural...who doesn't get worried about something they've never done?--but when the time came, I only felt pain with my IV and after when I was getting stitched up and didn't have Ethan to distract me. And even then, it was tolerable and I could deal with it.

So I'm going to be that woman everyone rolls their eyes at and makes comments about and say it honestly wasn't that bad. razz Didn't tickle, but wasn't unmanageable either.

xd Heh, when it's time to push, you'll know. Don't worry about it so much. You won't know how you'll do until it's time to do it. But until then, knowledge is power. Learn as much as you can now.
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 8:41 am


The pushing thing is so unimaginable because you have no comparison. I mean sure, squatting on a toilet to do your business could be a similarity, but never before have I had to force something from the front entrance/exit and frankly, it's probably something I'm not going to understand until I have to do it anyway, so I know I should quit freaking out over it.

xd

I experienced my first cramps the other night after getting stressed at someone online. This has taught me that online drama = bad. Especially now that I'm creeping closer, week by week, to my due date. I don't wanna piss the baby off so much that he's like 'right, I've had enough of this, I'm getting out of here'. I'd be happy to have him in there as long as I can!

Of the pain relief, does anyone have suggestions of what I should go for? I'm pretty good with pain, my tolerance is quite high - however, I realize I've never experienced anything like childbirth before, so I may change my mind! My doctor mentioned that the epidural they offer doesn't go directly into the spine? I can't remember exactly what he said it does or where it goes, but I think it's the upper buttocks.

RaiRai


Spiral Out

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:39 pm


Depending on how slow or fast your labor is going can make a big difference as to whether or not you can get an epidural.

I knew before I ever got pregnant that I would have one, I have a pretty low tolerance for pain. If I hadn't decided that, I was induced and went into labor rather slowly, so when it started to get bad, I started to remind the nurses of my intent to have an epidural. If you go into labor slowly, you will probably have the option of deciding that you want an epidural if you're not sure.

It does go directly into your spine. You have to lean over a table so your back is curved so they can get the needle between the bones. I have a... SERIOUS problem with needles so it was really awful for me. They gave me a shot of novacaine to numb the area first, and then they put it in. It hurt, really really bad... but about five minutes later I couldn't feel it or my contractions, so it was a big plus for me.
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 10:36 pm


I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that the epidural needle hurt like a dickens! They always show the women on the shows (BAD BAD indicator lol) all relaxed and smiling. Pffft.

I still think I'm bad to give advice because everything I read and studied seemed to go POOF out the window. I think mine would have been more bearable (as bearable as it can get) if I didn't have the megapuking.

lunashock


RaiRai

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 7:21 am


I saw the needle on one show and almost threw up.

sweatdrop

I'll have to ask about their pain medicine again, because he said that the hospital I'm attending doesn't do the one directly into the spine because of the type of drug they use and they said they prefer if you can feel when you push whereas the one that goes into the spine doesn't allow for much movement or feeling.

I should have written this down!

xd
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 8:44 am


I'm only just over half way through my pregnancy and these fears are starting to kick in, I mean I always dreaded the Idea and knew that alot of pain would be involved. But as the bump gets bigger so does my worries, nothing would put me off mind! ^^

I wasn't told about how they insert the epidural but now I Think i'll pass.. I wouldn't say I have a low pain tolerance and I have no problem with needles but the idea of that in the spine... ~shudders~

I'm Glad RaiRai Asked Because This Is My First Too And This Thread Is Very Helpful ^^

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Spiral Out

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 12:15 pm


The epidural doesn't help like... at all when you have to push. At least it didn't for me, and it's not supposed to. If you can't feel when to push, how can you? It's really just for the contractions you get while you're waiting to dialate.

I remember after about three hours I felt a contraction again, and got really concerned. I watched the moniter and they weren't any stronger than they had been, so I told the nurse and asked if the epidural was running out or something. She said it wasn't, and checked me out and I was dialated to 10 stressed

I definately experienced every painful moment of the actual childbirth, and I could feel the stitches afterwards. The epidural definately helped me calm down while I was waiting though. I think I took a nap too. I'm pretty glad I had it.
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 3:11 pm


Honestly, the worst part of childbirth, was then kneading my stomach after I gave birth. Actual childbirth didn't really hurt that much, and no, I didn't get any pain meds. Then again, it also only lasted 4 hours from start to finish, so I could be lucky!

froggibabey


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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2007 6:06 am


I think the worst part of childbirth is different for everyone. I had intense back labor as well as the normal contractions in the front. I could manage each contraction individually, but the hard part was not knowing when all the pain would end.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 6:27 pm


I was definitely afraid too.

I also went with an epidural, but mostly because my doctor insisted I get one so I could get some sleep. It sort of hurt, but I had just had my water broken for me which hurt like a b***h. So, it didn't hurt as much to me as it may to some one else. I did have a hard time holding still though. XD She kept trying to stick me at bad times.

My epidural helped all the way through my delivery, but there was only about 4 hours between when I got the epidural and when I finally had my son. My main focus was giving birth and getting that over with so I could finally hold my son.

I'd do it all over again in a heart beat too. The pain was definitely worth it.

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MysticfawN

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:49 pm


RaiRai
Childbirth. I mean, I know he's got to come out somewhere, but why did God make it so that they come out there? And that it's so painful?


This is another reason I think God is male, or that he/nature didn't design this very well, is why oh WHY do nipples have SO many nerves centered on them if it's designed for babies to suck on?! gonk OUCH!

Nopenname
Because it is NEVER EVER how you think it is going to be or how books tell you it SHOULD be.


This is the most important quote ever, and especially important regarding "plans" or expectations towards childbirth and parenting! It's never how you imagined! If I had known ahead of time I was destined for a month out of town with my baby in the NICU, I would have been so scared! So sometimes it's better to just trust in fate, or in God, or whatever you like to trust in wink , and know things happen as they're supposed to!

froggibabey
Honestly, the worst part of childbirth, was then kneading my stomach after I gave birth.


OMG I'd totally forgotten my sis-in-law mentioning this after her C-section until it happened after mine! Talk about pain! They didn't do that after my first delivery though, which wasn't by C-section. Froggi, did they knead your stomach after a normal delivery?

I wish I had had an epidural, and I wanted one! The anesthesiologist took his sweet time arriving at the hospital though (2 hours) and then it was too late. I was induced with Pitocin and it made contractions so much stronger, but it all went quicker. The second time around I wanted to try natural without Pitocin and see if I could handle it better, but like Nopenname said, things never go as planned, so I didn't get to do that either and had my emergency C-section 5 weeks early, and under general anesthesia.

During my first delivery I remember the urge to push, and it was SO different from what I'd been feeling before! It almost MADE me push, whether I wanted to or not. The urge to push must have happened right when I hit 10cm, but the nurses hadn't checked me yet, so when THEY checked me and I was 10, and they told me I could push now, I didn't mention I'd already been pushing because my body made me! Your body knows best, in my opinion!

Oh, and I have to mention that I know of 2 people who feel so guilty because their labors were so easy. One of them, a sister-in-law, was glowing and looked like she'd never given birth when we came to see her and the baby, and she said it just felt like bad period cramps, and wasn't bad. Another lady, of whom I'm envious, was at home, said she felt "a little uncomfortable" so she took a bath, and then wound up with a baby between her legs!
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