Welcome to Gaia! ::

Something to always keep in mind:

Predators, stalkers, perverts--whether in real life or online, they are just bullies(though some are more aggressive than others). They are not flawless beings with no weaknesses; they only want you to believe they are so that they can intimidate you into doing what they want. They can be picked apart and verbally beaten down and outsmarted, and ultimately exposed for what they really are: Cowards. Bullies are cowards with masks, and there are always ways to deal with them even if you're not getting much help from authority.

Absolutely. Thank you, V. I'll white out the words and put a caution statement at the top of each letter.

The messages he sent are in Red, and mine are in Dark Blue. Some words are striked through in case of young readers.

Alright, here's the first message.

From: Blurk, age 39
To: Lucent (my MySpace username), age 18 (you're cringing in disgust already, aren't you?)

Subject: yo (even at this point I was wary.)

Hi Minnesota cutie,

I might have a smaller-than-average p***s, but I want to show it off, cuz I know some women don't mind. And some might even like it. What do you think??

Z

Now, usually I just block the user and delete the message. However, this idiot had actually asked my opinion, and I was more than happy to give it to him. Just so you know, I state more than once in my profile that I don't even want to TALK to guys who are significantly older than me (and if 39 isn't significant, I don't know what is).

My Reply:

I theorize that your ability to comprehend writing is highly questionable. Let's take a crucial segment of my profile as a reference point for my theory:
_______________________________________________
Who I'd like to meet:
YOU!! Unless you're some pervy old guy. Honestly, I don't care if I'm an adult now. Leave me alone.
_______________________________________________

You are apparently 39, which is over twice my age. That makes you, in relative terms, old. It's one thing entirely for people to make contact with others of a similar age bracket, but another thing entirely for someone to pull this kind of s**t on someone who's young enough to be their daughter.

Now that we've established that you fulfill the 'age' part of my 'forbidden' list, let's move on to your second incrimination, specifically the 'pervy' part of the list:
_______________________________________________
Hi Minnesota cutie,

I might have a smaller-than-average p***s, but I want to show it off, cuz I know some women don't mind. And some might even like it. What do you think??
_______________________________________________

Your message='pervy', which is a slang derivative of the word 'perverted' (just in case your vocabulary is as poor as your reading comprehension), a word that describes a person with whom no self respecting human being would ever subject themselves to. You, in this case, are the pervert; I am the self-respecting individual who verbally bashes people such as yourself into the proverbial ground every day.

Now, to humor you with my 'thoughts':
The reason men like you have small penises in the first place is so they are less likely to con intelligent women into screwing with them, thus reducing the likelihood of said men passing on their inferior, perverted genes to the next generation.

Now that we've established that I want nothing to do with you, go find someone your own age to harass.

I sent that to him, expecting him to have just enough intelligence to leave me alone, but he later replied:

Pretty s**t ... I congratulate you on spelling "harass" correctly ....

"I am the self-respecting individual who verbally bashes people such as yourself into the proverbial ground every day."

Good luck with that, since you've left out hyphens, punctuation, etcetera, that would give you legitimate grounds to claim the intellectual high ground.

Goodbye c**t. Your problem is, you obviously have no sense of humor .... oh, and did I mention you are an a*****e?

Pretty immature, right? Well, that's what I thought, too. So I decided to tell him. I wasn't about to let him end the conversation on his terms, in any case.
My reply:

No, you didn't. Either you have memory issues, or you don't know how to scroll down to see if you actually typed something beforehand.

And yes, I know it's funny. It's terrifically funny. Especially considering that you just HAD to send off that message in the first place, and now you're whining because you don't like what I said. What the Hell are you complaining about? You brought this on yourself.

And you're wrong, by the way: an a*****e by itself is not physically capable of typing. The word you're looking for is b***h. And it's a title I proudly bestow upon myself, especially in situations like these.

Ah, the predictable 'Attacking the-legitimacy-of-my-argument-by-picking-through-errors-that-absolutely-no-one-(and-I-mean-NO-ONE)would-otherwise-notice-in-an-attempt-to-completely-avoid-the-issue-at-hand-only-to-attempt-to-play-it-off-as-a-lack-of-humor-on-my-part-Scenario'. *whew* Could you at least TRY to be original? Honestly, your pitiful attempts at insults I can handle. But that AND avoidance, coming from someone on the threshold of his forties, is simply ridiculous. The boys in Special Education at my school can come up with cleverer (and by far more logical) comebacks than 'c**t' and 'a*****e.'

You're in for a long read.

For starters: It's enough that I know I'm intelligent, and that my family, friends and teachers know it, and that I got into a prestigious private college at a discount--not including the scholarship--because of it. I don't need a complete stranger to tell me anything about myself because you clearly know nothing about me. This is MySpace, not an Advanced English Literature essay test.

But let's not forget the most important thing here: You want to send me a message about your undersized d**k and then put me down for the PUNCTUATION in my responses when I shoot you down for it? While you're at it: why don't you shove a grenade up your a**, pull the pin, and then blame God when your lower half explodes?

But for the sake of your petty argument: if you're going to discuss grammar and spelling with me, I suggest you spell your own words right the first time. Last time I checked, 'cuz' was not in the English dictionary. The only reason I didn't comment on it in the first place was because it's so ridiculously common that I have simply learned to ignore it. My online punctuation use, by the way, far exceeds that of the average MySpacer. And what I write here is nothing compared to what I'm capable of in 'Real Life.'

I indicated the kind of people that I did not want contacting me in the first place. And yet you did it anyways. You are in no position to talk to me about intelligence.

My only concern(if any) was getting the message across. And clearly I managed to do that very well, or you would not have reduced yourself to insulting with all the petulance of a child not getting his way.

Just so you're aware: Sending sex-related messages--like the one YOU sent--to people you don't know--who are less than half your age--is NOT funny. Ever. It's creepy, and that's all there is to it. Ask anyone who has ever recieved a note like yours from someone they didn't know, and they'll agree wholeheartedly with me.

Really, though: given the circumstances, what I wrote in reply to your first question was absolutely hilarious. You really don't have the right to complain about it. I'll say it again: you brought in on yourself by asking in the first place. I don't know--and nor do I care--what you expected to see in my first reply, and frankly, I don't give a damn about your reaction to this one, just as long as I continue to piss you off, and you continue to justify everything I say by continuing to leave the impression of the Unoriginal Nit-Picking Pervert with the Cocktail Weiner. My friends and I are finding it incredibly amusing.

That last line was a blatant lie; I wasn't talking to any of my friends at the time. But he couldn't have known that, so I put it in there as just another way to make him feel like a moronic scumbag.

He hasn't replied since, but then again, it hasn't been that long.

So, that's how I've decided to counter people like him. Letters like ^. Notice how in his second reply, he seemed to lose some of his nerve? He didn't get the reaction he wanted(and I shudder to think what that was) so he decided to try and provoke me with mindless insults. I countered him by basically reminding him of what an idiot he was to have expected any other reaction than the one he got for ever sending me that message in the first place.

So this is one of many options for you girls out there: If someone is harassing you in any way, or they won't leave you alone(or you can't resist snapping at them, like me) then you can do something like that letter.

And yes, I realize how silly this is; there are countless people like--what's his name? Oh wait--Blurk, out there. But I think of it like this. Maybe he'll at least think twice about messaging young women my age again. In any case, he's one less problem for me to deal with.

I hope you found this helpful(or at least entertaining), and thanks to you, Volatile, for letting me post it^_^

Wow. That was alot to read. Nice work! You rock. *gives cookie* I'll take your advice, because I'm one of those people who can't help but snap back at somebody like him. ^.^