Let Me Be
I wish that you knew what it is like to be me, cause then you would know that I can never be free.
So alone, yet so surrounded.
I feel suffocated by my own confusion.
Chorus:
I am more free now then I ever have been, yet I still feel trapped.
Why can I not just be let go into the world that I know so well.
No one will leave me alone and let me be. x4
Can you not see that I just want to be left alone.
Chorus:
C:All of you just leave me alone why don't you.
Can't you just stop with all your interference.
Do you like to screw up my life with you constant meddling.
Please just stop and leave me be.
Written: July 21, 2005
Get Out
Overwhelmed by confusion.
I can not think.
Blinded by my own confusion.
I can no longer see things for what they are.
Chorus:
Wrapped up in my anger and sadness. x3
Hurting myself and others is no longer enough.
Chorus:
I need to escape from this ******** up world.
I have to get out this pointless life.
Show me an escape from this meaningless s**t.
Chorus:
C:Someone just please help me to get out.
I need to get out and be free.
Show me the way and I will follow.
I can not see it for myself and I need someones help
Why will you not help me out.
Written : Aug 25, 2005
Last Lament
I found a way out .
I am finally moving.
No longer stuck in one place.
I feel so free.x3
Chorus:
Able to move into new surroundings, with nothing holding me back.
Free of all commitments, I can move on without regret.
Chorus:
Never going to come back again.
I will miss this place, but I have to move on.
Goodbye forever, this is my last lament.
Chorus:
C:I leave here now.
Moving freely into a new setting.
I hope this will change my life for the better.
Now I will find a new side of me.
Written: Sept 13, 2005
Find Me
I sit here on the swing alone, wondering where everyone has gone.
Left to face the world on my own, I feel so overwhelmed by everything.
Chorus:
Why did everyone have to leave.
Did I do something wrong.
Please come back.
I am so afraid.x4
Chorus:
I do not want to be alone.
Just let someone find me.
I will sit here till someone comes.
Chorus:
C:I wonder when they will come for me.
I can not leave on my own.
I hope that someone will return.
I do not want to be alone.
Written: Sept 20, 2005
Other Side
Always on the other side of life.
Looking down when I should be looking up.x3
Falling over again when I should have already picked myself up.
Chorus:
Never knowing what is ahead because I am always looking behind.
Doomed to repeat history because I never learn from the past.
Alone on my own path even when I am surrounded by others.
Chorus:
C: Do they not notice me standing there.
I need to learn more but I never seem to be able to.
Why can I not leave my past to rest even when I know I should leave it behind.
I can never see the bright side on my own.
Written: Oct 3, 2005
Goodbye
Flowing freely from my wrists.
My life blood is no longer needed.
A red river gushes through my fingers.
Chorus:
I smear the blood on my lips.
Take in the taste with my tongue.
Its warmth is a sweet caress against my body.
Chorus:
Soon to be gone from this world.x3
My vision blurs and my hands shake.
I fall to the ground as my last ounce of strength leaves me.
Chorus:
See the bloody knife one last time, before my eyelids become to heavy.
Swirling in the darkness.
All the pain is now gone.
I am finally free of everything.
Goodbye, I love you all.
C biggrin o not weep for me it was not your fault.
I do not belong in this world anymore.
I am now gone and nothing can change that.
I hope that you can come to except that.
Written: Oct 20, 2005
Forever Alone
I always feel out of place no matter what.
Never quit felt like I belong.
I always stand out on my own.x4
Chorus:
Never getting any attention.
Constantly pushed to the side by everyone.
Forced to sit and watch from the sidelines.
Chorus:
Everyone always ignores me.
They leave before I finish.
Always left to be by myself.
Doomed to forever be alone.
Chorus:
C:Why can they not see me .
Am I invisible to this world.
I wish someone would notice me, but I know that wish is futile.
Even when I weep they do not notice my sobs.
Written: Oct 24, 2005
The Knife
Nothing left to lose.
I glance at the knife in my hand.
Look at myself one last time in the mirror.
Wash all the doubt from my mind.
Chorus:
I move the blade quickly to my wrist and slice it open.
I feel a stinging sensation travel up my arm.
I look down and see the blood flow through my fingers, and watch the red river as it hits the floor.
Chorus:
I take the know stained knife in my other hand.
I examine my still clean wrist, but then my train of thought comes back and I continue my work.
All I feel next is a great fatigue and heaviness come over my entire body.
First the knife falls to the ground with a clatter, then I grab the bathroom sink for support.
Chorus:
I stare at myself in the mirror for what feels like an eternity, then my eyelids become heavy and my body hits the floor.
I feel a last pain go through my body as my head hits the ground.
Then just before I pass over to the next realm I have one last thought.
What will my family think when they find me dead on the floor.
I have no time to consider this thought, the next second I fall into darkness.
And that is the end.
C:Who will cry for me now.
I am no longer among the living.
Nothing I can now do about it.
I somehow feel relieved.
Written: Oct 25, 2005
Hurting Me
Please stop hurting me with your lies.
You are slowly but surely killing my soul.
Adding more to the damage that has already been inflicted.
Chorus:
Slashing ever deeper with your daggers of deceit.
My heart is in bloody tatters.
My shell of protection has been penetrated once again.
Can you not stop your fearful rampage.
Chorus:
Why is it everyone has to hurt the little girl sitting in the corner.
That is all I am now.x5
I sit here crying wondering why no matter what everyone hurts me.
So battered and bruised that I can't even get up.
C:Just leave me alone.
I can not stand to be hurt anymore.
Are you happy now all I can do is cry, nothing more.
Why can you not just stop.
Ugh no. Not again.
Written: Nov 24, 2005
Never Wake Up
The emotional train wreck of the century.
I lye here on the floor crying.
Dead inside from all that has been done.
Chorus:
I wish that someone would help me up.
No longer able to cope on my own.
Why must no one come my way.X5
Will no one help this tormented soul.
Sometimes I wish that I just would not wake up.
Chorus:
C:Help me please I need your help.
With out someone death will surely come my way.
Please just stop and help me up.
Crying here has done nothing but bring me more pain and yet I can not stop.
My soul will rip at he seams soon.
Written: Dec 2, 2005
Inside of Me
My heart and soul are in bloody tatters lying on the floor.
Once you have been through what I have been through you will know I want no more.
Nothing now can make me whole.
Chorus:
No one can repair what has been done.x4
All I can do is sit and watch as life goes by, wondering why this was done to me.
No longer a live inside.
The inside of me is now a gaping whole.
Sometimes I wish I could die because I am already dead inside.
I wish my soul were still whole.
Chorus:
C:Torn apart inside my chest my heart can not be repaired.
Sitting, watching, waiting it is all I can do now.
I can not truly live anymore
Written: Dec 4, 2005
Lust
I came to you again to tempt you into my embrace.
Seduce your senses and ensnare your mind.
You follow me blindly into a place you recognize.
I bring you here because I know I will get what I want.
Chorus:
I reach out for you without meaning.
make you clutch at me without thought.
Clawing deeply within you is a lust that can not stop.
What I do is completely instinct now.
Never thinking just going with the flow.
Chorus:
I make you cry out when you finish because you know it was all for nothing now.
Make you weep because you will never get back what I took away.
C:The lust you have is insatiable.
Stop fighting it cause it will not stop.
Stop resisting what you know you must give into.
I am always ready and yet you are not.
Come to me when you wish I will not judge you for all I am is you.
Written: Jan 17, 2006
Run
I run as you take chase.
You try to keep up with my pace.
I no longer want to see your face, yet you still long for my embrace.
Chorus:
Running ever onward I finally fall to the ground.
I clutch at my chest for air.
Listening to your footsteps as you close in.
I catch a glimpse of you through the trees.
Chorus:
I rise again so that I can see you no more.
You finally give up and walk away.
You finally see that you are no longer needed.
Thank you, for leaving me alone.
C:Stop this please.
I can not run for much longer.
I do not need you anymore, so why do you still pursue me.
I do not understand why and I do not want to either.
Wanting you no more.
Please just leave me alone.
Written: Jan 21, 2006
Knock Them Down
I stand up to fight again only to be knocked back down.
Lye on the cold floor and stare at the sky.
Roll over to get back up.
As I rise someone steps on my back and forces me down.
I look up at them from the ground.
They smile whilst looking down at me.
Chorus:
I feel anger course through my body.
I finally get back up and knock them down.
I look down at them and smile sweetly.
I leave knowing that my victory won me another day of life.
Chorus:
C:Fighting for my life.
It is all that I know how to do.
I always must struggle to keep my place in this life.
They always challenge me and I know why it is because they are fighting just like me.
Fighting, to stay alive.
Written: Jan 28, 2006
Dark Tunnel
Life is a dark tunnel.
You can not see ahead or behind.
You must move on otherwise nothing will change.
Chorus:
In the dark you can never see the surprises whether good or bad.
In the dark you may stumble and fall but you always pick yourself back up.
In the tunnel you can not see anyone around you but when you bump into them you will know.
And so you go on in the darkness trying to find what everyone else is searching for.
Chorus:
C razz eople may help you through whilst others will leave you behind.
And though you may find a light it will not last for long.
Blinded from the truth by the darkness. x3
You will never know whats real and what's not.
Written : Feb. 10, 2006
One night stand
Seeing the bodies all over the floor
only makes me want to chase you more.x3
You run and I will chase.
Look out for my deadly embrace.
Once in it you can not escape from me.
Chorus:
I saw them after the party one the floor all in pairs and us left all alone on our own.
All we did the whole time was stare off into space, never join in.
We both chose to be wall flowers you and I, but now I wish to be by your side.
Chorus:
If you wish to stay with me tomorrow also I do not mind I think I would want to be yours anyway.
Now will you not be my one night stand and fall to the floor in my embrace so we do not have to leave this place.
C:I want to be your one night stand.
I want to hear you moan and scream at my touch.
Stay here with me for tonight, only then will I let you take flight.
Please stay, I will only chase you anyway.
Written: June 21, 2006
Lost
I have lost it all now.
Their is nothing left but pain.
All the life has left me. x3
I can not escape this cage.
Chorus:
Bound and left here to torment and torture.
Nobody can save me now.
I can no longer see them and they can no longer see me.
I lost them a long time ago and now I can not get them back
Can not get them back. x4
Chorus:
All is lost to me now.
They have all left me behind.
I know they will not come back, but still I wait because I can not do anything else.
I know no one will come.
Chorus:
C: They can not find me.
They do not even see me.
Standing here all alone.
All is lost to me now.
I can not go ahead or behind.
I am forever stuck in this dark place.
Written: June. 27, 2006
Trapped
I wish you knew.
Oh how much I want to leave this place.
No matter what no one understands
This place is my house not my home.
C:
Why can you not just let me go. x3
I am trapped by those who are unwilling or unable to understand.
I'm getting that plummeting feeling again.
Soon it will engulf me once more.
C:
That feeling of complete helplesness.x2
I thought it would never return.
It has though and I now know why
I am caged inside this place
Unable to get out by myself
No one seems willing to help me.
Why must I be here and have this feeling again.
I swore that I would never feel this way again
How I wish that this feeling would go away
I know it will not though
Not until I am free. x3
C:
She is afraid to let go of me
She knows she must but I know she will do her best not to
That thought is slowly killing me
C: Please let me out of this cage
I do not belong here anymore
You say I have freedom yet I still feel trapped
Trapped by those unwilling to let go
Written: August 17, 2006
Eternal Solitude
I am here alone again.
I had to leave my haven for this place of nothing.
I want to leave this place of lies and broken trust.
They no longer understand me,
In order for me to cope though they must.
C:
I love them and yet I hate them as well.
I must love them cause of what they are,
Yet I hate them for who they are.
One terrorized my mind for years.
One crossed lines that should not have been crossed.
The last has to many broken promises to me to make up.
C:
How I want to leave my place of eternal solitude.
I wish to escape my own house.
They have all tried to understand,
And they have all failed.
They will keep trying in vain.
I am lost to them now.
I can not be me as long as I am here.
I want to leave.
C:
I want this to stop,
Yet all my wishes are for not.
I have a safe place I can go,
I can not stay their though.
I feel trapped in eternal solitude.
C: Constantly wearing my mask of deceit.
They no longer see me for me.
I wish to leave my old place of salvation and need.
I have a new place that they can not see.
Why can they just not leave me be.
Written: September 19, 2006
Left Behind
When will I be saved from this place of eternal darkness.
My savior is not coming.
Who will retrieve me from this place.
Will I ever see the light of day again.
How I long to leave my void.
Someone must come to my aid.
C:
Why was I left here all alone.
Does no one care about me.
I can not see anyone on the darkened horizon that is my own world.
Am I to be stuck here forever,
In this place of bleakness.
Nobody is with me anymore.
They left me here and have not come back.
C:
Alone on my own.
I fell like I will never leave this place.
No one is going to save me now.
My saviors have all gone.
I have been truly left behind.
C:
C:everyone has gone.
I am here all alone.
Will no one save this lonely soul.
Am I forgotten within this realm.
Can no one save me now.
Written: September 20, 2006
My Love Forever
The world is dieing, everything is dieing, all is dieing but my love for you.
Everything ages, everything falls, my love for you though will last through it all.
All is falling, all is fading. This feeling within my heart though will never go away.
It transcends time and fate.
I will love you for all eternity.
C:
You make my life complete.
I am nothing without you
You are my everything
Walking side by side all I can do is stare in your eyes and watch my life as it falls into place around us.
C:
I would give up my whole meaningless life just for one day with you.
I never want to leave the safe cocoon that is your embrace.
Never let me go my love.
I will never let you go no matter what.
I will be with you always.
C:
C: Everything to me.
Always with you.
Be forever mine.
Protect my body for I protect your soul.
Love me always, I will always love you.
Written: May, 10, 2007
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