|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ketsueki Yuki Vice Captain
|
 Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 5:12 pm
Rules:
~ No posting in this thread unless it's your test.
~ Limited to 4 posts. You can use less.
~ You have 2 weeks to finish your rp
~ Must use the battle field type assigned to you
~ You create a monster of your choice
~ Have fun!
1~Ice- Pretty simple with this one. The floor becomes solid ice. There are random chunks of ice protruding from the floor. And of course, you have little to no traction.
2~Desert- Pretty much nothing but massive sand dunes. You sink down into the sand, which slows you down a LOT. If the wind blows, the sand gets kicked up, which obscures vision.
3~Open Field- A plain grassy field with nothing on it.
4~Ocean- A mini ocean about 40 feet deep. There are five floating platforms for battlers to stand on. The plat forms bob around and it's really hard to keep your balance on them.
5~Dense Forest- The arena is packed from wall to wall with dense, tropical trees. As in any tropical jungle, there are lots of vines and other such things to get tangled up in.
6~Land of Fire- Parts of the arena floor sink away, leaving behind pits of lava. Also, pillars of fire erupt from the floor periodically.
7~Concrete- A plain concrete floor.
8~The Abyss- Near complete darkness engulfs the arena. Dark energy is abundant in this field.
9~The Sanctuary- Opposite of the Abyss. Light energy fills the arena. Its very bright!
10~No floor- The floor drops away leaving a pit filled with spikes. There are levitating platforms at varying heights, going all the way to the top of the arena. It's hard to jump from platform to platform, and trust me, you don't want to fall.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ketsueki Yuki generated a random number between
1 and 10 ...
10!
|
Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 5:15 pm
10~No floor- The floor drops away leaving a pit filled with spikes. There are levitating platforms at varying heights, going all the way to the top of the arena. It's hard to jump from platform to platform, and trust me, you don't want to fall.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ketsueki Yuki Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 4:59 pm
Mizo was in her usual distasteful mood as she drifted into the empty arena, a dark cloud practically hanging over her head. She flapped her tiny black wings and propelled herself into the center of the room. As the buzzer sounded, she took off into flight, so as not to be surprised by anything. Mizo watched between chunks of her sandy blonde hair as the floor fell away, leaving a mere few platforms left to stand on. She allowed herself to ease down onto the tallest of the platforms, gazing down the entire time at the spikes at the base of all the platforms.
'It's a damn good thing I can fly.'
Mizo sat down as if nothing worried her or could possibly touch the all-powerful princess of darkness. She began to meditate, after folding herself into a pretzel. She imagined the humans and angels she would kill later on and especially the idea of her twin sister's death flashed in her mind. Mizo stayed like that for what seemed like hours, not flinching, but only breathing.
Eventually Mizo grew tired of meditation and decided to lay back and sleep until her challenger appeared. She rolled onto her side, using her hands as a pillow, closed her eyes and drifted off to wonderland.
~Two sides of a room appeared before her eyes. One was dark and the other bright. She stood on the border, right smack dab in the middle. Ahead of her was a figure leaning against a wall on the light side of the room. He seemed familiar, similiar to the guy she had met in the courtyard. Then another figure showed up. It was a girl standing in the darkness. Mizo did not recognize her. Each one grabbed hold of an arm, yanking in their direction, splitting Mizo in half. A voice called out above all. "You can be both. It is how I wished it. You can be both. It is how I meant it..." The voice repeated those words over and over again, slowly drifting away....~
Mizo opened her eyes to find a girl hovering about an inch from her face. It was the girl in her dream. "Who are you?" The girl laughed softly, before replying. "It's me! You know, Sumizome. I'm the one that will make all of your worst fears become a reality!" Mizo's face dropped.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 4:59 pm
Mizo just stared at the girl who was still smiling. She was completely puzzled. 'How can this girl hurt me?' As Mizo pondered this, she failed to notice the little girl slip around behind her. All of a sudden a sharp pain burst through Mizo's back. She flipped her head around, despite the agony, and found her black wings, which she was very proud of, floating down into the pit of spikes. Her eyes moved to the little girl who was smiling still, yet her eyes had changed from innocence to evil. The thirst in the girl's eyes frightened Mizo somewhat. She had never known someone, not even a demon, to look that way.
"Are you still the invincible Mizo?" The girl cackled maniacally.
Mizo sputtered up blood as she returned with her usual smart comment. "Always." She smiled as she climbed to her feet and forgot her injury.
The smile vanished from the girl's face, leaving only pure hatred. She lashed out quickly at Mizo with her right hand, producing a dagger that struck Mizo full-force in the left shoulder. Mizo stumbled aback, nearly stepping off the edge of the pillar. She glanced down into the pit, but then returned her demon eyes to the opponent before her. Her shoulder was bleeding profusely, but she once again forgot it.
Mizo opened her mouth, producing a dark feathery substance. It twisted and twirled about in the air on a collision course with the enemy.
"How pitiful are you? I have your power of dark manipulation you twit!" She breathed deeply, inhaling the blackness. In an attempt to knock Mizo off the edge, the girl slid into her, kicking Mizo's feet out from beneath her. Instead of flying backwards, Mizo fell forward and landed hard on top of Sumizome. Not a sound escaped the girl's mouth. Mizo quickly grasped her own daggers and plunged them into her sides so deeply that they pinned the girl to the pillar.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:15 pm
The girl kicked her right leg up, right into Mizo's face, knocking her to the opposite side of the pillar. Mizo nearly flew off, but grabbed ahold of a rock that held her to the ground. With all of her will-power, Mizo pulled herself towards the center. A person was whispering in her head, commanding her every move now.
A strength from beyond her own body surged throughout Mizo, empowering her to overcome her own powers and mind. On her feet, Mizo charged Sumizome, bashing her head with a full-force punch. Sumizome struggled against the daggers that held her captive, finally wriggling herself free. The daggers still pierced her body as she rose, all the while Mizo striking her.
Sumizome folded her arms so that she could reach the daggers portruding from her arms. She clasped them in her hands and yanked them out. Mizo backed away slightly, preparing herself for an attack. Sumizome gracefully and amazingly fast moved about the pillar, jumping high into the air, bouncing off of another pillar, and flying at Mizo, daggers pointed straight at Mizo's heart.
Following Sumizome's entire movements with her honed demon eyes, Mizo readied herself for the stabbing. With a few simple movements, Mizo had regained control of the battle. She had simply shifted her weight back, bending over, allowing Sumizome to fly pasr her, and skillfully wrenching the daggers out of Sumizome's hold. The effect was Sumizome missing the edge of the pillar and Mizo getting her daggers back.
Mizo strolled over to the edge, to ensure the death of her foe. To her pleasure, Sumizome had landed right on a spike. She had been speared through the gut and lay lifeless. Mizo smirked. "I told you I was invincible." She stood tall, her wounds forgotten, as the pillar lowered. Her hair blew lightly and her eyes were hungry. "Who's next?" She stepped out of the arena, leaving behind her bloody opponent to rot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:35 pm
A- 85 credits
B- 75 credits
C- 65 credits
D- 45 credits
F- 20 credits
Length and Pacing: You had a nice, constant length going. And a decent pace. Though, the battle, in my mind, seemed to last less than three minutes. Usual fights between people don't even last half that long, but that's purely because most people don't know how to fight(and are human xD). I mean, a girl who can rip wings off of your back would have to be at least a little strong, dont'cha think? It'd be a slight shame to kill off someone of that strength so quickly. Overall however, i did like your pacing and length. <3
General Grammar Rules: I didn't really see anything wrong with your grammar besides the one time you said
"Sumizome gracefully and amazingly fast". Replace amazingly fast with such words as 'quickly' or 'swiftly'. Or possibly re-word it. like this:
"Sumizome moved with amazing speed and grace between the pillars, bouncing and leaping from one to another until she eventually leapt straight towards Mizo with her daggers pointed straight at her heart."
Other than that small mishap, everything seemed smooth and well thought-out.
Personality: I liked Mizo's personality. I believe that you captured that
"I'm the princess of darkness. I'm a BadHat. And anyone who gets in my way can burn."
kind of attitude. You incorporated it pretty well, in mix with the battle and her meditation.
Use of Environment: You used the environment to a moderate amount. Which is fine, seeing as there isnt much you can do besides hop from platform to platform and hope you don't impale yourself by slipping.
Details: You did a very good job with the details, dear. It was fun to read your test.
Overall Jess, I'd have to give you a 76, or a B+. Because i know that everyone was rushed to finish the test before the deadline and such. And for someone who was rushed, you came out with a pretty good test. Especially in comparison to mine! You blew me out of the water. I hope that this seems like a fair grade, since this is my first time doing this.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ryuka Navali Vice Captain
|
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:23 pm
A- 85 credits
B- 75 credits
C- 65 credits
D- 45 credits
F- 20 credits
Length and Pacing: Despite only having three posts, the test was well paced. Each post was roughly the same length and contained the same amount of material, if you will. The only thing is with two supposedly strong characters, the actual battling bit could have taken a bit longer. But if I'm not mistaken, you were also rushed to finish this, and you did very well given the circumstances.
General Grammar Rules: I only spotted two mistakes. The first one was the one Gin pointed out. It was just funky grammar. And the other one was one single spelling error. Other than that good job!
Personality: You brought out Mizo's "I pwn all" attitude very well in the posts. I could just picture her near haughty expressions.
Use of Environment: You did well incorporating the platforms in your battle. I know there isn't much you can do with them, but you kept the constant worry of slipping or falling present throughout the battle.
Details: You did ok with the details. Like always, I'm a detail whore, and would have loved to have seen more detail in the characters and their looks and/or movements, since you can't really describe floating platforms in a grand way.
Congrats on another well done test! 75 credits!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:16 pm
In average, Jessra, You get a B+, of 75.5 credits which round up to 76.
Good job!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
