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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:22 pm
OK, now that we found out that we are having a little boy my sister and friends want to throw a baby shower for him. Two actully, one for just close girl friends..a few people getting together for tea and cake...and then a larger one for my whole faimly..which is pretty huge.
Growing up, every baby was celebrated with a shower.. no matter if there were one or four...etc. Of course none were as big as the first one..unless it was for a different sex baby. You guys get the idea though.
So this time since we have a boy already I don't need alot of extras anyways...it's mainly to celebrate a new life coming into the world.
So...I tell my mother in law that my sister needs all Benny's side of the faimly's addresses to send out invites to this shower.
(for a quick explination..she wasn't to thrilled about being a grandparent again..and made that quite clear when we told her that we were expecting)
So..
The first words out of her mouth was "I don't think anyone will come.." and "People usually don't have a baby shower for the second baby.."
What a ..excuse my language..a b***h...I felt like telling her that she doens't have to come..but instead I was cordial and asked her to get the addresses anyways..just in case someone wanted to come.
ARGH! She threw Aydin's baby shower..it sucked...I cried when I got home cause it was so...bad.
This is suppose to be a happy occasion...now I want to just move away from her... crying
What would you guys do in my situation?
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 3:16 pm
What happened that was so bad?
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 3:55 pm
She told me that no one would come to the baby shower..
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:11 pm
ElaborateDream ARGH! She threw Aydin's baby shower..it sucked...I cried when I got home cause it was so...bad. I meant that part. Did something really horrible happen at the shower?
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:44 pm
I would just ignore her. Lots of women have babies showers for a second child. Besides it's not like you areasking her to through it, so it does matter too much what she thinks anyway. Hope this second shower is fun and you can enjoy it!
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 1:10 pm
kim ocean ElaborateDream ARGH! She threw Aydin's baby shower..it sucked...I cried when I got home cause it was so...bad. I meant that part. Did something really horrible happen at the shower? Oh she made it so none of my faimly were able to go..cause it was around hour to two hours away..and well...she made my faimly members who shown up uncomfortable.. my MIL hates my faimly...
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 6:55 pm
Well I have only one child so far, but I do hope to have a baby shower for my next child. Not specifically for the gifts, but more for the fact that the experience will be different. The baby shower I had a few months ago was more friends and family from the baby's father's side. For my second child though I'll be living elsewhere so I'll have more of my own family attending.
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 1:33 pm
Why did she even host it if she felt so strongly against it?
We didn't have a shower for my second baby, but our families did offer to host one. I've also heard of diaper parties, which is just like a baby shower but everyone just brings diapers since the parents don't need anything else.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:19 pm
For some reason I was always led to believe that you only get a shower for your fisrt baby, but now I have a friend wanting to throw me one for the 2nd. I really don't see why people wouldn't go, it's a different baby & a celebration + gift giving for the mom to be.
Did you end up having the 2nd shower yet???
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 3:01 pm
I don't understand baby showers at all. I don't really want one, but my mother in law is insisting that I do.
gonk
Are they a big thing for new mothers?
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 4:17 pm
RaiRai I don't understand baby showers at all. I don't really want one, but my mother in law is insisting that I do.
gonk
Are they a big thing for new mothers? Yes they are! Mainly because they help out with things you'll need to buy for the coming baby. I received a lot of stuff throught my pregnancy and the baby shower. All I really bought for my son were a few undershirts and some bath products. I'm sure I bought a few other things though I can't think of them right now. I'm lucky enough to have friends who are like family to me and didn't hesitate to buy me a crib, mattress and just about every outfit my son has. If it weren't for the baby shower, I would've ended up spending a lot more money than I have for the arrival of the baby.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 7:26 am
I only had a shower for my first baby. That's just kind of how our family does things though, unless you end up having a girl--those are very scarce in our family and it always causes a lot of excitement when one actually pops up. I don't think there's anything wrong with throwing a shower for other children after the first. If anything, you could always use diapers or stuff like that, and even if you don't focus on gifts, aren't showers really just an excuse for a bunch of girls to get together, play silly games, and have fun--and of course celebrate the new life on its way.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 7:49 am
I see. Baby showers aren't that popular in the UK, so my mother was just going to send me some money from over there and we were going to start buying stuff for baby. We came home with a stroller and my mother in law flipped out. Told us we shouldn't buy anything until we had a baby shower.
But I'm due in three months and the doctor worries I could give birth early, so I'd prefer we have the basics ready just in case!
What can I expect from a baby shower? I see a lot of TV shows where they hold big parties and make people design onesies and stuff. It scares me.
xd
(I'm probably going to have to pay for this event because MIL isn't working. But she's the one who wants this shower! D'oh!)
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 10:03 am
If you don't want to have a baby shower, RaiRai, then don't have one! They can be pretty fun and very helpful, but they aren't required.
As for showers for second babies, I've known some people to have diaper showers where the guests bring diapers instead of other gifts. I think any kind of baby shower is a nice thing for whatever baby you're having.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:43 pm
Your MIL sounds a bit old fashioned. When I was growing up we used to walk to school 5 miles in ten feet of snow all up hill going and comming home.....Well you get the picture. Really when I was growing up people usally had just one baby shower. People tended to use hand me downs more. They also didn't use car seats for babies or kids. We know now we need these items and they should be new. It has become the norm to have baby showers for all babies. It just costs so much and people truely do love to shop for babies. Plus it's a great reason to get together for such a happy occasion.
Ah back to you MIL - You need to find a happy place to go when dealing with her. Smile, and shine her on. Ask again for the list and if she says no one from the family will come, just say I hope that's not the case, but I still want to invite everyone, so they know we care about them, and didn't forget them. It will impower you and keep you from lowering yourself to her level.
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