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 Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 8:45 pm
I'm having a personal problem. It's kind of a long story but, it reeks of a soap opera or harlequin.
There's this guy (let's call him Dylan) who's the ex of one of my best friends but, we're all pretty close friends. Well, I really like Dylan, and he really likes me. So, I had just gotton permission from my friend to go ahead with trying to initiate a relationship with him. Everyone seems to see that we'd be perfect for each other. Then there's this other guy (let's call him Thomas) who I thought had liked my friend who's Dylan's ex. Then I have another friend who really likes Thomas. And Thomas is a really sweet guy, attractive, considerate, caring but, with some serious emotional problems. So, as I was pursuing Dylan (and I was sooo damn close, too!), Thomas takes me aside, kisses me and tells me he likes me. It broke my heart when he said "That's the last kiss I'll ever give you but, you and Dylan like each other and I'd much rather you be with him." Poor him! As much as I like Dylan, I know that one day someone has to teach Thomas that he's worthy of being loved and I had such a strong urge to be that person. But, I thought I could get over it. I continued to pursue Dylan. Last night, I told him that I wanted to talk to him next time I saw him. When I saw him today, I was so excited to finally ask about starting a relationship. Before I got to ask, another one of my friends pulled me aside to talk to me. Dylan had told her that he knew what I wanted to talk to him about and that he was so terrified because even though he likes me ardently, he's afraid of dating me because he's got a policy against dating friends and he's afraid that just ******** up all his relationships. Apparently he's also incredibly afraid of committment. So afraid of committment that he won't date anybody. He told her that "dating is the first step toward marriage." Words couldn't express the misery I felt after I was told this. I threw things out of my 8th floor window, I broke things, I cried wildy, and I beat my hands and arms against the hard wall in the stairwell for approximately an hour. Well I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Though my one friend knows what happened with Dylan, I haven't told anyone that Thomas confessed that he liked me and kissed me, and I don't plan on ever telling anyone because of my friend that really likes him. But, damn me to hell if I can't stop thinking about that night he kissed me!!!!!!!!!!!
I told you it would be long, don't feel bad if you didn't have the patience to read all of it but, I just had to vent, even if it's just to a bunch of people I don't know who probably don't even care.
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:39 am
My one friend thinks Dylan might be gay and most of her guy friends are gay so her gay-dar's pretty good. For his sake, I genuinely hope he is for everything he's putting me through. Yesterday, Thomas knew I was upset and that it was because of Dylan, though he didn't know what had happened. He promised me that Dylan would "come around to his senses eventually." He likes me so much it breaks my heart crying
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:58 am
yea...love is sooo wonderful at times and sometimes it sucks xp
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:58 pm
I have no idea what to do...
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 10:34 pm
Hmm...tough one and I feel bad for you. I personally think that you should go with that Thomas guy but then again I also think that you should wait and see if that Dylan dude is gonna come around his senses like what Thomas said. Try pulling Dylan aside and talk to him. Tell him that you don't want marrige but an honest to goodness realationship that can or will make both of you happy. And you should let him know that the only way for you guys to ruin your friendship is if your not honest with each other or if you guys do end up dating but turns out that one cheated on the other or something like that. You got to let him understand that you want to be with him cuz he makes you happpy and because you think that it feels right if you do date and stuff. But...if its true about how you can't stop thinking about that kiss that Thomas gave you then theres something off. He must be one hell of a kisser to have you thinking of him like that. Maybe you should tell your friend about the kiss...you know...the one that likes him. Cuz it be better if she heard it from you and not from someother. Afterwords talk to Thomas and tell him what you been thinking lately and how you feel. He sounds like a good enough guy and I'll bet that he would do anything to help put your heart at ease. Well sorry for writing so much and I hope that everything works out perfect for you mrgreen
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 1:49 pm
Shinji_Takeshi Hmm...tough one and I feel bad for you. I personally think that you should go with that Thomas guy but then again I also think that you should wait and see if that Dylan dude is gonna come around his senses like what Thomas said. Try pulling Dylan aside and talk to him. Tell him that you don't want marrige but an honest to goodness realationship that can or will make both of you happy. And you should let him know that the only way for you guys to ruin your friendship is if your not honest with each other or if you guys do end up dating but turns out that one cheated on the other or something like that. You got to let him understand that you want to be with him cuz he makes you happpy and because you think that it feels right if you do date and stuff. But...if its true about how you can't stop thinking about that kiss that Thomas gave you then theres something off. He must be one hell of a kisser to have you thinking of him like that. Maybe you should tell your friend about the kiss...you know...the one that likes him. Cuz it be better if she heard it from you and not from someother. Afterwords talk to Thomas and tell him what you been thinking lately and how you feel. He sounds like a good enough guy and I'll bet that he would do anything to help put your heart at ease. Well sorry for writing so much and I hope that everything works out perfect for you mrgreen thanks. it's nice to have an outsider's opinion of the situation.
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 3:40 pm
he seems to still really like me though, if only he could get over what's stopping him confused
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:49 pm
Hmm...I don't think that Dylan is worth it...if he could tell a friend that he's afraid of committment but not tell you, then there's going to be a recurring issue of communication in a relationship with him. I say go talk to Thomas. Explain to him all that has happened, just like you posted here. He sounds like an understanding guy, and would probably understand your dilemma. Tell him how you can't forget that kiss. See what happens from there.
Go for it girl! I'll be rooting for ya!
4laugh
Tell me how it works out!
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Hmm the girl above is also right. Even though Thomas is the better choice you still got to remember your other friend that likes him and stuff. You just cant go out with him especailly if she's like him longer and stuff. I remember this one thing that a male friend once said to me and here is where I quote " Bro's before Hoes cuz girlfriends come and go but friends are forever specailly the good ones". Think about your friend also.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 11:45 am
I got to talk to Dylan last night, but, mostly, I listened. He admitted to really liking me. He also admitted that besides being afraid of ruining a valuable friendship, which I assured him meant too much to me for me to let anything happen to it, that he was afraid that he couldn't balance college and a relationship right now and that he'd want to be able to give me the time and attention I deserve but, that none of that changes how he feels about me. We still like each other immensely and I hope one day (hopefully soon), he'll find the right balance in his life.
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:29 pm
Well, it seems like you've made your decision...it's not what I would have done, but hey, I'm not you...
Good luck in our future, and for your sake, I hope Dylan can find balance too!
4laugh
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:32 pm
Damn me to hell! It isn't getting any simpler. Dylan has forsaken his feelings for me to get back with my friend who's his ex. Sometimes I feel like he's so emotionally stunted. So I thought I'd give it a go with Thomas, since my feelings for him had been increasing. He still likes me, so much. And that definitely wasn't the last kiss he'd ever give me. So why can't things just be simple? It never ends.
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:23 pm
So I'm posting again to give an update on the situation (not that it matters since this guild is deader than JonBenet). But here goes...
I've been dating the Thomas one for a while. We'll have been together 4 months on Jan. 23 and it's going so wonderfully.
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