Welcome to Gaia! ::

Feel free to comment on them. I would love to talk about them. ask what I get the inspiration. Ask who it was for...ask for what you wnat. I will answer in words.

(I had never reviewd any of my poems. They all flow out and I never review them to correct them. Sorry for my grammer. I am not fluent in english. Enjoy them.)


If you could only understand this, each breath I take hurts. Each time I think of you my mind becomes consume…I don’t understand this…But I do…This pain teaches me. It teaches me that you hate me…that you will never ever like me…that you will never say…say what I long to hear…I don’t want your physical…I want what I see within those eyes…those eyes are what consumes…the spirit within it…I am just in love with what I cannot touch…that is what makes my feelings mystical. I love what is the untouchable…I love the beauty that will never become dull. I know that when we come into the world we come with nothing…So the same way I will go. I know that the physical will die within time. But…why can’t I reach what I long? Is it the purpose of God? Or is it that it’s the devils doing? How will we ever know who it was? Each time I think of you…I feel so close…so close of losing it…I writing about your omnipotent grace. You are omnipotent goddess. The goddess, which each time she speaks…her voice echoes in the pure emptiness. I lose what to say when I hear that voice…but how?...I have never heard your voice. I have never seen you. I have never been close…so who are you? Who am I? I don’t know who me is anymore…These words are not me…they are those demons that yell within me! They yell for freedom! For my very soul tortures them. When it should be the very way around, I torture them with the thought of you. My feelings for you, they are so powerful that evil cowards before them, so that the heavens don’t accept such love. As I dance in the darkness with no sound of an instrument, just the sound of my heart. Its beating…So hard… So loud…Beating a song within its very own beats…the song is for you…the song for the Goddess of the omnipotence emptiness…

Alberto-Omnipotence of emptiness


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When would he come? i asked myself...when would he come and save us from ourselfs? we have only been hurting ourselfs...we have been killing each other over pesessions...somthing that we would soon lose...by death...for we could no ttake anythinig with us from life...what was in life stayed in life...what is in death stays in death...so what is the reason of our being? I dont know...i can tell you that...but here is my idea...that our reason is to show happeness to those who see darkness...those who just thinking about hurting...those who think about taking...those who think of evil...I am not saying that i am pure....but i am saying that we should try to be pure...to live in happyness...to that emotion...think...you see your child cry...you feel pain...you see a child die...woud you not feel that same pain? no...the pain you would feel would be more then crying...for in your heart you know that....that one child will never live again...that child never lived through happeness...or love...it just was consumed by war and proverty...how is this happening in the world? That is why i want for him to come...to save us...to stop the pain...for my heart is tired...of feeling this...my eyes are tired of being wet...I just want to go...to a place were all of us could live...just live...in harmany...this is my dream...one dream...that may not come...that may come...if only those who see with hatred will see with love...for those who think of hatred will think of peace...

-alberto-
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That one moment you spoke those words i change...into nothing from somthing...I know...that just like that i will become nothing...again...I only fear of the lost...for i know you are here...and i wont give you up...nothing will push me away...but your words...your will to have me away...that would scare me...if that would happen....if only i knew what to say...to kept from that happening...Then i wake up to find out that those words were only in a dream...A fantasy...A lost world that will never exist...never become...i know this...becuase...I am...someone who you would never see...

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-sold of the souls-
My soul has been sold 20 thousand...So i can buy you that ring...that ring...that ring for you...the ring for our wedding...that ring for our marrage....that ring to keep us together...i sold it to the devil for you...and what do you do with the ring? you trade it for a car...ripping my heart away...how could you do that? now i will go to hell..for a car...not a ring...the ring i wanted to give you...to give you happyness...to give you a moment with me...
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-broken jail cage holding the broken man-

Just like that i came in without words...saying things i never knew i could. I feel so cold. So unpure. Finding that it was without worth. I can only feel so bum to think. That maybe you were with Him...What do i do...Is waht i only know. Is to take that knife and end this all...For you i end this all...for you i shut myself...for you i never cryed...for you i died...first in body, then in mind, thirt is soul...and the last is my heart...I spill myself out just for you...just to find that you let me fall. Into the ground i fall with blood...I loved you once i thought...now i just died for you...what did that mean...? That you were my god...my live..for what i lived for...for what i am dieing for...I only die slower seeing you with him...with that other guy...with that other man...

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-trying to keep alive that was left-
This fire that you do not see...this fire that you do not see! consumes me! Burns me! taking all that is left of me! for you burn the rest! You did it so easly so facil, that you never took a second glance. You then put me in a plastic bag, throwing me in your friends back yard. "He was nothing" you softly said, "nothing should have been his name" I feel so gone...I feel so lost...Why did you burn what was left...?! What i tryed to keep alive that was left....

-alberto-
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I once said that i would be here to hold your hand...But i lied...I once told you that i would hold you when you were sad...but i lied...I never knew that i would lie to you...but i could not stop myself from lieing...i died...I was not there to hold your hand...I was not there to hold you when you were sad...My soul became so cold when i felt the lie settle in...would i stop it from consuming me? no...i knew that it was done...and now i could never let it go.
I once told you that i would never cry...But i lied once again. I was losing it..."I lost my soul" i said to you as i watch you sleeping in your bed...i knew you would never hear me...i was dead...how did i die? simple... I was crushed as i worked on our house...the house i been making for the both of us...to live in...in the future...I had it all planed out...the room for our children...I had already had the familys dog name...I cryed as i saw you grow every day...I noticed every year that you seem to forget me...for i began to dissapair...how was it possible? you till loved me...only your love kept us close...soon all i was a smear image of myself...when i looked into the mirror i did not know who i was anymore...when you got marryed was when i first dissapaired for good...i saw you say i do...i saw myself say i dont...I felt it all going away...my love for you..As i departed i said...the last thing i said was...."Love...this hurts me so much...to see you push me away...WHY! NO! You still lvoe me! dont let me go! I just wanted to be with you!" That day he left...that day he became nothing...for in the truth when he told her the first time he meet her " I am always going to be alive for you...even if i am dead..until your not mine anymore...our lvoe will still exist.

-alberto-

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Its started not a while ago...She found me..and could not let go...I found you...and could not grasp...She hold on...when i wanted to let go...but I never tried...afraid to let go...let go and let her fall...somthing that i would not ever do to her...she was so sweet...so pure...when i was nothing put a piece of stone. One day i talk to her...the one i longed for..the one i long to hold and care...i felt like falling...like drying into sand...but could not...for the one who had a grasp on me...i felt to sad....As i ran away from the world...to find you runing with me...without knowing we were alone...I told you....everything...you said that i loved a other and i told you no! i told you that she loved me...and would not let go...and for that...i would not let go....it would kill me more then i twould kill her...to see her pain....ever since then...i never talked to the girl i loved...for I already was pained thinking aobut her every second...every moment...with every breath i secreatly loved her...without ever tlaking to her...i called it in the end...Spokeless love...
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As i walk into the class room i feel your presence... It takes me away from the world... I look toward you to see if you feel the same...Butl, you dont even look...I study hard to impression you...but, you never notice...In band class i play my best piece...its name "for you", you dont even listin...I graduate the first in our class...I do a speak hiddenly for you, you never heard. You were with a other one. I felt the time you touch her...I felt me soul become eaten by millions of seeds of depression. Even as we move different paths i feel you....when you are sad...when you sleep...when you dream...I cry as i sing about you...my heart is gone...without questions i meet you again at our class meeting...you were in a case...you were dead...you died of sadness...you died by drinking to much...WHY?! i ask...days go on...i have a dream...he told me...I was like this...becuase i never paid attion to you...never was...with you...I was not the one who said i love you...I was not the one that ever was there when you were sick...That was killed me...thinking that you where with a other one...one day it took me to figure out that all those words and those actions...was for me...a stuiped man! a stuiped human man...who was stuiped to see the true beauty within...
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The rain falls sadly....
carefull it drops...
all together it has fallen...
all alone he dissapairs...
Like me...I stand alone...against all the darkness...
that is within me...that is within you...
I fight for the both of us...
How do i do it?
Love...
Love for you...
For the thought of you loving me...
For the thought of us being together...
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As I hold my stomach, I find it hurting even more as I lay on the ground bleeding from the wound. The wound that I did...The wound for you. "I wish I could die" I say again. Then i realize that I am. My eyes lose their brightness as i go. You find me dead, you begin to cry for me...but in vain...For i am dead and dead I stay. My soul, in a form of a ghost comes to you in the night, then we talk to each other, say we love each other, but the dead and the living cannot love...for it is forbidden..."I wish I could die" you say...."No...its not worth it...not worth seeing the ones you love cry for you, to talk about you...to scream for you to come back." I yell sadly. We just stare at each other... for hours each night for years...The girl never got married. For she said she loved the forbidden...she loved death...she loved the thought of dead...she longed for it to come...and it never came...she asented...into the heavens...leaving me behind...leaving me to roam the world without her...until i die...
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What is love? the longing to touch someone? Is it the longing to be with someone...or is it the thought of touching...the thought of just being...or is it the affect beyond words...beyond minds...the bonding of what we call souls...I like to think that love...has a click...without it...you cannot be...happy...with that one person...with that one soul...no one other...just one...

alberto-
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Ghost you found my soul, you showed its revelation to the world, taking my secrets that I hold so dearly, the secrets that made me....me...I unfold the letter you sent me....It burns in my hand in the very moment i read it...It only had a few words...enough to take me off my feet...enough for me to never forget you...enough to make me think...that word...was so great...was so pure...was so...forgotten...
-alberto-
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I had only one dream...it was you and me...but that dream was shatter as you left this world...I felt my heart disspair with you as you left...I did not cry...I died...for you..the emtyness that you left..was so unbearing that the knife on the counter seemed so pure...A door for us to get together. But one day i found out that you did not die...You left me...to a other city...to a other place...with a other person...Finding that out caused me to die over and over...again...One day i had gone to the top of the torture of it...I found you...I left me house...with just a knife...and what i had on...I knocked the door...he opened, then i saw you sitting on the couch...you saw me...your eyes widen...I stabed him...through the lung...he feel on the ground gaging for air...I smiled and left...as i walked down the steps...I heard a shot...on the back...the bullet fell..on me...It hit my heart...as i kept to walk with the wound the blood kept falling...You yelled for me to stop. I did not listin...I took the knife that killed the new one you loved...and with that pure knife....I stabed myself on the neck...somehow i kept walking...By luck...a few feet was the ocean...I began to walk toward it...I saw the ocean reflect the life of the moon...I walked into the her...the ocean so slowly...my heart begun to beat slowly...I walked until i could not no more...as i kept walking my mind became shadows...I faded...away...into nothing...I left the world with nothing...just like i came.

-words done by alberto-
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once saw a vision...now finding it was lost...i hid my face in the ground...I hid my dreams within that ground...I hid my heart within my dreams...I feel so gone now...Like i live no more...without you being with me i am gone...without the thought of you ever being with me...I have figured that my vision was never to become...it was just a life gone with the dusk...My soul...has gone with the sun...to never return...for you have gone...and you also...will not come back...I have understood nothing but silience...this silience that i feel gives me fear...and hope...that maybe...I was meant to be...The souless...The loveless...the ones without a pupil.

-words from alberto-
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I love you so that i would give you the moon. I wish that we could just be together, so much so that i would join your dreams. I find myself traped by all this darkness surronding me. I cannot stop thinking about your beautyful face. My mind fills with chaos of the unknowing that i would see you again. I lay in my bed all night woundering if you will ever think about me. I see a picture of a ocean with a ray of light on a calm wave hitting the warm sand to the left of it there is a rock, reflecting sunlight making the image more pure. Finding myself really in a cold mountain of snow with a river that still flows, my breath slowly as i wait for you. As your face comes into memory, the cold mountain turns into a forest in spring with all those wonderful colors and that warm streem just a few feet away with great fish jumping in delight that you have come. as i find myself in my room really thinking about you i see nothing but image. A image of me and you...always together.
-alberto-
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one day..as the moon light feel harshly upon the earth a strang figure appeared glaring up to the moon...saying "one pedal of a flower is more powerful then fire."-
as i slide left and right i find myself losing in all the chaos...and the chaos that i am consumes me...i speak once, finding to hear my words echo many times. I look around in the chaos seeing a room filled with images of forest and old ho uses with a island with a mountain behind the house. I see a figure come out of me yelling "let me free" but i hold you in...for you are what keeps my in mind...chaos filling me inside...this feeling almost feels like love, but its not...its the feeling of angry love..but its not...its the feel ing of myself...my soul...is confused...and caos...
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Kade (Means Pure, <(^_^)> ) To believe in a true dream is amazing, but losing it is worst thing that could happen to someone, I seen so many dreams begin to bloom but abruptly the Rose gets pulled out by a stranger or even the very person who planted the Rose. This Rose called Dream is a very delicate rose to begin with but with time its strength will become unstoppable. Dreams have so much power in this world, but it is very easily lost in some cases.
When we are talking, how do we know if we are really talking? How do we know that these sounds coming out of our mouths really mean what they mean? And how does this give us power to say what is ours and what is not. How do we really know what we call ours is ours? We live in a world of what the unknown wisdom is never to be found these questions are asked in the minds of many of us, and we do not even know what to think about it. What I believe that what we call ours is false if it was already here how can we call it ours when it was here before us and what is before us is already owned by something else. Nothing is “not taken,” so where are we? Yes what we call earth is what owns itself no one can own something as big as this “earth” that we know of. “Earth” is way more powerful then any of us, and thinking about this, “earth” owns us.
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Lonely reason- I find myself lying on the floor covered with sheets a fan turns slowly but something seems to hold it from going fast. What holds it from turning fan is the fan itself its very own reason of needing to have something to aid it. As I again still laying find myself become the very earth I lay on my mind fusing with the element of the world I find myself open to all the teachings that it teaches. I feel my mind open to new thoughts to findings to new ideas to the most important it sets me free, I need no aid I need nothing to need for my path to be set all find needing to need is my faith. I see the world for what it is simple and innocent, not as I see the beings on this earth. The beings on this earth seem to hate each other for no reason, for looks, for simple thing called life. Life must be given to get. Each time I see a bird, I see them with amusement for they are something really call free they can escape their worries, just by flapping their wings and they go higher then their hatred, higher then their enemies, Listen to the world and find nothing.
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Time Is reticent – When you find yourself ageing you seem to ask yourself how is this happening I did not remember how I age, how did time go so fast? This is the response you hear inside your mind, you do not remember what you did not hear happen you find yourself ageing without question, you can’t stop this… But you can go up to find it and discover what you never knew you knew. Time does not go fast, it really goes slower then what you find yourself doing, time is a slow horrible power, it makes what you hate with passion be more horrible and bring more sorrow. Time walks aimlessly through time. It dishonors what we call pleasure, just a simple good memory; Time comes through you without resistance and thanks your memories little by little. Once you find it gone you are alone in mind. You find yourself lost without that thing you feel gone, that empty space inside you. Time is as pan assassin, so reticent you never hear it come by and thank your life. Listen to This World and find nothing.
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Unlost Forgotten-They search the world aimlessly for nothing. They find what they don’t seek. They find that what they are looking for is never gone, they find that if they don’t seek they will find what they are looking for, and they call for it every second of their forgotten live even knowing they wont find what they search, but for some odd reason they search, If you ever saw the Forgotten you would understand why they search, they are the only one that see in world. They search those who see with eyes that are free, free to understand, free to understand what the true meaning of life.
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One who was:

Time left me,
killing off what was me,
sealing of me,
hold me,
taking what was me,
taking all the light that I was,
replacing me with somthing that was not me,
placeing darkness within me,
filling me with great pain,
In this time...I find myself alone...I dont find what was me...I find nothing but...the darkness of the world..the darkness i fought...the darkness i have become...
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As i felt your heart begin to stop...I relize that it was over...as i kneeled beside you liveless body. I began to weep...for i had lost what i lived for...this life i thought to myself...was in vain...i had no reason to live...I layed beside you...you layed on the side of the street stabed in the chest...why? for money...they wanted to steal those ten dollars...i would have gave them all of mine...my house...my car...everything just for your life...but now i know its over. I cannot control destany...time...if only I did it would have been better.but now...i lay....beside youre liveless shell...i close my red eyes...to see the darkness within them...and i would never wake up...i did not wake up...i never lived....
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what i searched for I had to change...For who I used to be was someone who was two caring...I had to become more shallow...I had to become someone...with half a heart...the old me...would roll over...and just recived all this pain...but still here i am changed...and now...I am afraid to speak...but not afraid to be pushed...I am not afraid to hold back those aggressions...but I am afriad to push ahead the caring I once had. -molding machine-alberto
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I have been alone these days thinking...about who I been feeling...But I will never tell them...that I wanted to be with them. But all I can think is...I dont love you...I love who you are...but then again...I love nothing...Becuase I am way to young...I am way to young to be wise...I am way to young to live...I am way to Younger to understand...To understand what live is truly about...to understand what this fight is for...Yet I feel like I have lived twice...I change complelty...why? becuase...To attain-
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Let me say this and I will say this once...Forgiven...The word that brings so much peace...but brings so many questions...I find myself questing about this...what is this? its...what you never knew...its what you never know...its what you find you'reself looking at in the class room without noticing...You see right through this...and I ask why....when This is the greatest...and confronthing this...brings me in so much peace. for...I love this.-Waht is this?-alberto
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Feeling so smalll..
The cold fear is growing.
Not knowing what to do.
Without you I feel so alone.
Hours at a time i spend thinking.
Not knowing what is comming next.
I want to become closer...
Holding back just to find that its wrong.
Holding what is real.
Hiding the light.
Finding myself.
alone.
-alberto-
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If i found a dream could i catch it? I hear all the echos of the world, but only one i can understand... Each moment the echo becomes more clear. It echos for resolution...Its cry is louder then any noise... I Cannot hold it. I am trying to hold the power of the world within my hand. Each time i think...I become lost...I lose what i never could find...Each time i see into my memorys those memorys become more dull...I cannot understand why...BUt i become confused....those worlds that i never knew about are there...and now i make no sense about anything...as if i was lost in my mind...I try to make words into sense and all i find is...-who knows-al
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alright...if you give up...i will keep going just to find myself falling...like a dieing wave of water...It dies in the end...doesnt it? So...if i have lost all support...I will fall...like the wave i am...I just...dont like feeling alone anymore...I have ajusted to be one way...and only one way...with you...but i guess....that is what i get for being so sure...But i guess the dead do not need? I have noticed that each night has been great but this one...I keep thinking...and thinking...if i have lost...then must i have to go a other path? since i have not figured what to do anymore. I guess i have give what i cannot give...If i have to live my live without light...i must ajust to the darkness...A vision of live...is so hard to complete...without you... But I know you will find a other light...and that may i continue to fight my blind fight...-Being-alberto
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faith...what is it? its something that we belive in with all our heart...That i hold...but what do I hold close to me?...you...The one who I think of...the one I have cared so much...In all this time I have never thought to be truly with anyone else...I have met chances to go a other direction...but I reject that direction...even if I could feel that direction...I would rather go with one...that has...I dont know anymore...If I have soild faith...or its my stuiped reasoning...that anything is possible...but I try...Hoping that one day this will be...But I feel sometimes...like...I cannot hold on... For I given somthing I had never given...My heart completly...I figure that you would be...But now all I hear...Is what I been fighting...its a arrow that keeps being shot...I still will reject the wound...but I know its there...but the wound will heal...I love you...And...it pains me to fear...(not done)
I fear of the thought of not being with you...You have enlighten my path...But now I feel that you want to leave me into the dark once more...Is this real? I ask...Is this real? I have put great thought into this matter...what is my answer? No...But my reasoning is greater then faith...and in this...I become so confused...for i dont know who to listin to anymore...I say somthing...and it comes out a other...I cannot write in such matters anymore...I have lost my words...I have lots alll that i know...for you...I have become blind...to see everything...I have lost my legs...to run a striaght flawless path...I have truly killed myself...to become what i am... I change myself into a more solid person...hoping to become perfect for you...But I am just a blind fool right? You're beautful...I dont know what to do....that is what i have become to conclude...that is my reasoning...that is my thought...that is my action...I have become glued to the ground i stand...I have no way to explain this feeeling...the best way i can put it in...is...You are my prophecy...And even now...i still have no idea how explain those words...its just...you are my air i breath...-prophecy-alberto
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Fear has penetraded inside...and i am losing control...each step i take brings me closer to the egde...each time i breath it feels like i have lost somthing. Its like...each time we talk i keep losing somthing...is it what i felt? or is it that i am afraid of feeling? stones on my chest breaking my will...the words of my thought breaks my soul...each time i think...i become lesser...i become the defeated...I am the greatest threat tomyself i know..but the thing is...its a raging battle over you...to hold what i fear the most...breaking...-under pressure-alberto
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each second goes by that i fell so disturbed, so wrong. For each word that i say becomes pain. I am so sorry that i could not tell you...that i felt so alone wihtout you. I had a vision of a black and white world. A world that consumed the light, a world were there was no light. Until I met you. you change my world, my vision, my dream. The vision that controled me...the dream taht consumed me. What is the vision i see? I see the heavens... I see their grand gates. I see the mighty mountains, I see the ocean with the reflection of the light. I never knew taht it would ever be so true. With each stroke of my pencil with each swing of my hand... With each beat of my heart, with each breath of my lungs...I can only think of one...You...-conspiration-alberto
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I did not know that words could cut a wound so deep...sharper then any knife...sharper then any gun. The world falls around me...crippling me...taking my legs under me. I cry for help...but i am not heard...i cry for you...and you looked away...for you never told me what to do next. And i told you everything I gave you everything... I was left with nothing...and i gave you my guide...and i asked for the next step...and you turned for a second and looked back...to see nothing...but a broken man...-the sword that could break bones without touch-alberto
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Each time i spoke to you a silent flame grew...each time i thought...each time i felt you...it grew...it was feeding off of you...you're were what one that my passion raised for...each beat of you're heart was a song to mine...it was a song of bravery...each beat would make mine dance...would make mine grow...each beat would give me a great meanning of living...each beat of you're heart...each breath you take.-alberto-
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Each time i spoke to you a silent flame grew...each time i thought...each time i felt you...it grew...it was feeding off of you...you're were what one that my passion raised for...each beat of you're heart was a song to mine...it was a song of bravery...each beat would make mine dance...would make mine grow...each beat would give me a great meanning of living...each beat of you're heart...each breath you take.-alberto-
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When someone gives a gold ring...is it really that they are giving blood? For Man has killed for it. So they say we give gems...but are they are coal pressed together very well...Now look toward the Rose. How it grows from the water and a pure seed. It grows never having to shed blood...well i have lost for words now...this one rose...may let the room for minutes...but will stay in your heart for eternity.
alberto
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I stare into the White snow...to see it so calm...so soundless...I feel so reckless...so much sound rings...I keep thinking...how can the snow be calm around you? how can it be so soundless ? Why cannot I be like that? for i relize...that in fact...I love you...-white of peace-allberto
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How could you see with that bind on you're eyes? how could you speak with you're hand on you're mouth...If you once had a dream how could you find you're goal if you did not listin...To understanding many things determines if you can truly become what you understand...you are what you speak...you are what you see...you are what you listin...but if you cover those things...what are you?...free...-odd system-alberto +
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At this moment how much my heart cries to be with you…How much I long to be with you…my love of this life…how each moment I think that I can die of this wish…to be with you….would be like giving the poorest man a world covered of gold…but even that…is not close to how I would feel if I got one minute with you…I will wait as long as I need to just to be with you…how I see the mountains so beautiful…but I see them in so much pain…the pain of not being able to be with you…but until then…you live within me… You live with me in my dreams…in my prayers…I see…that the my journey is long and hard…but if I reach that goal…I know that I will be with you…So I must work hard for you…I must be more then just a conquer… I am greater then a conquer…I am no more…but the one who lives inside me. With Him…The Thief in the night…I will come to my goal…to the end of my journey…-destiny of happiness-alberto-
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I feel the anger of this world. It makes me only sad to hear the cry of the forest...I fly with the birds just to see how the land has been blow by the fire...the fire of the guns...fire of hate...we waste so much for so little...what do we get from war? freedom? or...death! I know freedom is not free...that is becuase the other side makes it like that...but why dont we all just lay down and die since we are going to do that anyways. I want to yell at both sides! if you want to kill just go play a video game! but no...we all have to go to war...for the aggressions of man...for the sake of satan's sick enterntainment! but now...Hear my plea...stop this...for all we do is take up more space in hell...-tranquilaty-alberto
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I woke up this morning thinking of you. Like i always do. I see the sun shine with a greater shine. Every face i see i smile at...If i ever could touch you...If i could only say i love you in your ear. I have noticed that i was so dull...So dull in my mind...I never thought about how live was so great...You showed me that this life was worth living. Yet inside me i have trouble burning that black rose. That black rose grew so beautyful. Yet we have to let go of somthing somtime? I close my eyes and imagine you and me...Together. As we are...Together. As we will...You're beautyful in every way i see you...you're what i love...You is who...I wish to be with...I have become somewhat so sad...to not see you...but I am glad to know...that you love me back...And i will forever always love you...
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There once was a soul that never knew how to think. Until he found a light...a light that he never knew...a light that showed him the way...the light that gave him a way. That light...brought him to the surface...it brought him to relize that...he was infact someone...that he had a reason to go on. That light...brought him to go even closer to the enlighten...For he had in fact...gone away from the enlighten...that light made him pray...made him think about both of them...he lvoed the enlighten...then he loved that light.He went for a walk...and that walk he thought about them both...on that walk he became somthing even more...he bacame a pesron that had a greater thought to life...a greater thought of everything..."from now on i will bless all who i see...i will bless those who dislike me...i will bless her...That one i think of...that one that i will always." He contunied to walk...on that walk he found out somthing so great...that he decided to never stop walking forward...for now on...he will be like a ghost...a ghost that will never bury a burden that will hold him back...all he can do is go forward...to the divine...i would like to think...that one soul found his peace with the world.
-divine harmany of love-alberto-
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I understand why i hate...why i hate the thought...for i canot have you...this is why i hate...this is why i think...i have drop the towel...I have let go of my dream...i am done with the very thought of a goal. I feel like...Giving up everything now. I spent hours and hours thinking of you...And i know this...you never spent one minute on me...You forgot all that i did for you...now i lay here...on the patch of thorns. the cage beast that i held within is now loose...I cant stop...the beast destroys all i knew...destorys all but you...for my love for you is great...but is it strong enough? i cant stop...he is to strong..hes my mind...yet my heart says no...It yells from the darkness..."you love her!" and my mind says no...for she dones not love me...she never did...she never will..she was never....yours...you may thing that i loved her...but, in fact it was all a goal...the goal i gave in..the towel that i threw...its over i said...its over...i am gone...my physical of being is gone...by spirit is gone...my mind fades....me...i am gone...the beast has won...you have won...i never will dream of you...i will never spend a other minute on you...you were...you was the love of my love...but now all i can say...bless your soul...bless you for keeping me away...now i understand...i am nothing...i understand...that i was nothing...and forever will be that nothing...that emtpyness...the dark mirrior
-faded dreams-alberto
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Once i use to think about you...i stoped many months ago...until now...I have never thought about you...but nowI have thought about you...only this once...and its this time...this is the time...This time i think about you...About how much you made me hurt...I have thought to myself...This love...for you was so pure...i hide it from you the best i could...But now...I speak...uneasyly...I thought about how...we could be...together...but i thought...its a false dream...a dream...that...is not...for i have found...the light...I have found this light...the one beside me...it shows me a way...away from you...I have been so speakless...You would not know that every little detail mattered. You were my spotlight...for a while...until i found that other light...yes...that other light that i think about now...that light...was a way to take me away from you...but now...I go back to the memorys of you...those memorys...helped me...but help me no more...for...you have your own...And I understand...These words are wordless...For i will never be ever with you...its our fate...she had made it this way...for a reason? I hope so...for...i dont want to go back...this...these words...are about you...who are you? only i will know...who am i? only you know...or you used to know...Your soul was true...but mine was never to be with your's. For...Fate had it a way...and now...I am stoping...stoping to breathe...to breathe one last time for you...and now...now...is for the one I love...for the love...that I love...may your soul rest peacefully in the dark...and may...your walk will be blessed...Bye...
-Speakless-
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I thought...that the thought of your pain...would be very pactive upon me...but not as this...I feel like my heart has thousands of broken glass within it...I feel like...you might not be...for the pain is so great...I weep...Blindfully I wait...for you...For what happened to you...are you there? I Dont you want to feel that kind of pain. Never...I dont want you to feel like...falling...just falling from your sit...Falling onto the hard floor...I dont want to see your body ever touching that floor...I dont want...that to ever happen. I kneel upon your image...the image of you sitting...I place my head on your lap...and begin to say..."Dont go...Dont fall...its dark down here" I think...That when god says we are equal...we are...even if we are sinners...followers...all the same...he loves us for who we are...people that in fact are light...Your light...is what i need to go on...for my light...and i say this true...is gone...but your flame seems to keep me going...it keep's me from compleltly falling.
I waant to express what i feel...but cannot...this in fact...is a thought without words...For you...I go here..for you...I will go here...I will go beyond the physical body...I will pray..For your happeness...even if you dont end up with me...remember...you are the mistress of thought...you are my mistress of thought...and nothing not even death can take that title away...you could see my grave and say "there lies soundless" I could go to your grave...and say "Sleep well my mistress of thought. I cry of the thought...of you not being with me...I see a imaage of a path...two of them really...one with you and me...the other not...one path seems the best right now...and that is you with me...I want that picture...that picture of you and me...together forever...never to let go..never to loose our grip...and its possible...for us...all we need is devotion...Mine is...my love for you.
-alberto-
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I look upon the black sky's...I stood within a crop of black Roses...to see...that in fact...i was in the right place..for once i saw the skys blue...the roses red...but that was just a illusion...I said to myself...I knelt beside my body that lady on the ground...sleeping...sleeping deeply...I thought about you...what i thought about you...what i once thought about you...its gone...Its faded...now i see you for what you are...my blindness...stoped what i did not want to see...addiction maybe? nah...i dont know...who knows...i am to young...I am to young to live..I should jsut end it eh? Yeah...that sounds great...I should end it all for nothing...for what i never thought i would think about. I had been dugged up into the ground, six feet under i lay.. Waiting for none's kiss...This is not a false disney fantasy...This is the real life...Once its over its over...once its gone its gone...I find it so great! Death! it sounds so dear...but i have other reason not to follow it...and its not your darken soul...For...I have seen the light in the darkness...I have seen what i never seen before...I have felt something i dont want to give away...I think...that one day i will look back..and still miss...what...never happened...what never will be...what i never felt...What...did i feel? Creeping drepression...crawling dark....building thoughts...to create what i am now...what i have become...What i am now...The lost soul in the dead rose feild...the black soul in the dark world...And i like it...For i have found myself..i have found words that never came easly to me...now its like my second nature...its me...what i have become...what i am..Thought of silence.
-Alberto Sandoval-
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When would he come? i asked myself...when would he come and save us from ourselfs? we have only been hurting ourselfs...we have been killing each other over pesessions...somthing that we would soon lose...by death...for we could no ttake anythinig with us from life...what was in life stayed in life...what is in death stays in death...so what is the reason of our being? I dont know...i can tell you that...but here is my idea...that our reason is to show happeness to those who see darkness...those who just thinking about hurting...those who think about taking...those who think of evil...I am not saying that i am pure....but i am saying that we should try to be pure...to live in happyness...to that emotion...think...you see your child cry...you feel pain...you see a child die...woud you not feel that same pain? no...the pain you would feel would be more then crying...for in your heart you know that....that one child will never live again...that child never lived through happeness...or love...it just was consumed by war and proverty...how is this happening in the world? That is why i want for him to come...to save us...to stop the pain...for my heart is tired...of feeling this...my eyes are tired of being wet...I just want to go...to a place were all of us could live...just live...in harmany...this is my dream...one dream...that may not come...that may come...if only those who see with hatred will see with love...for those who think of hatred will think of peace...

-alberto-
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That one moment you spoke those words i change...into nothing from somthing...I know...that just like that i will become nothing...again...I only fear of the lost...for i know you are here...and i wont give you up...nothing will push me away...but your words...your will to have me away...that would scare me...if that would happen....if only i knew what to say...to kept from that happening...Then i wake up to find out that those words were only in a dream...A fantasy...A lost world that will never exist...never become...i know this...becuase...I am...someone who you would never see...
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-sold of the souls-
My soul has been sold 20 thousand...So i can buy you that ring...that ring...that ring for you...the ring for our wedding...that ring for our marrage....that ring to keep us together...i sold it to the devil for you...and what do you do with the ring? you trade it for a car...ripping my heart away...how could you do that? now i will go to hell..for a car...not a ring...the ring i wanted to give you...to give you happyness...to give you a moment with me...
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-broken jail cage holding the broken man-

Just like that i came in without words...saying things i never knew i could. I feel so cold. So unpure. Finding that it was without worth. I can only feel so bum to think. That maybe you were with Him...What do i do...Is waht i only know. Is to take that knife and end this all...For you i end this all...for you i shut myself...for you i never cryed...for you i died...first in body, then in mind, thirt is soul...and the last is my heart...I spill myself out just for you...just to find that you let me fall. Into the ground i fall with blood...I loved you once i thought...now i just died for you...what did that mean...? That you were my god...my live..for what i lived for...for what i am dieing for...I only die slower seeing you with him...with that other guy...with that other man...

-trying to keep alive that was left-
This fire that you do not see...this fire that you do not see! consumes me! Burns me! taking all that is left of me! for you burn the rest! You did it so easly so facil, that you never took a second glance. You then put me in a plastic bag, throwing me in your friends back yard. "He was nothing" you softly said, "nothing should have been his name" I feel so gone...I feel so lost...Why did you burn what was left...?! What i tryed to keep alive that was left....

-alberto-
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You're Lovely Presences:
I walked into a room one day. A normal class room that would bored me to sleep. Until my eyes caught a being that was amazing. That being gave me a reason to pay attention to the none sense of the teacher. I thought of how someone could make my senses tingle. On how you could make me cry each time I am away from you. I never changed until I met you. I became someone with a reason. I thought of every way to be with you. Finding you're very presences lovely, and each moment without that presences painful. All this time I think of you, and each moment not able to be with you. The three words I want to say to you is I love you.
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-taking me away-alberto
Staring in you're cold eyes I feel so warm. I feel like you're touch will take me away. Why cant you just take me? I want to feel the cold blood on my wrist. I weant to hear you say my name. I wnat you're darkness to hold me closer...I want to hear you're breath. i want to step with you along the river of sticks. I want to sayyou're name...Death...Holding my hand here...Please say taht you will take me...

(Much More left! will finish when i come back!)

If I understood time,
If I could make this time mine,
If you could time my mind,
If memory was a only moment in time,
If I fell to the floor would I be in my moment,
would I feel the time in my mind,
would you be able to define the memory,
could you find that I was there to lie,
What if I would hate those who you belive in,
What if I fell this time to die,
what if I could tell your mind,
What if I could end the time,
What If I could stop the moment I done,
If you could find my mind inside a rift of time,
If you understand the moment you spent time on this mind,
You will understand that all this time I been speaking about the time I wished I would say,
I love you