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 Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:10 pm
"I should dump you at preschool. You're not to young for preschool, are you? That's why they call it preschool. You're too much of a slavering idiot to be useful in child society."
Natalia sat on the waterfront sidewalk's bench, giving Fiore an accusatory look. The lack of response was irking her, even though she realized it was no fault of the infant's.
"Wuh."
"See? Too thick to even attempt real words."
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:19 pm
Jesse had found very recently that children made amazing accessories. Pretty girls talked to him more (and occasionally pretty guys, but that was a new and disturbing thing all on its own), people didn't try to kill him so much, and, hey, nobody ever suspected him of doing any wrong (except maybe kidnapping an infant).
"Oh, sorry!" he apologized with faux enthusiasm as he rather randomly bumped into a significantly smaller man on the street. The man looked as if he was going to say something, but the woman on his arm tugged at him and smiled to Jesse. Jesse smiled back and waited until they were out of sight before examining his prize.
Leather. Huh. Swanky.
He perched atop the edge of a nearby bench and began to rifle through the contents of the man's ex-wallet. Sy, slung over the man's shoulder, burbled happily to himself and sucked on an enormous silver coin, far too large to actually get into his mouth.
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:25 pm
"I heard once that children are just parrots. Does that mean that if I keep talking to you, you'll start talking like an actual person and not just spurt horrible odors and exhibit your incontinence?"
"Uvuuuuwah."
Nat sighed, flopping on the bench and flinging her body around in dramatics, slinging one leg over it and knocking an innocent bystander in the head as they walked by.
"Hey! Watch ******** off!"
"You kicked me, you b***h!"
Nat sat up and gave a perfectly canine bark. The man she'd kicked swore at her again, but slunk off, distinctly weirded out. Nat snorted and laid back down on the bench, regarding her flowery-headed problem with a sidelong look.
"See that? THAT is how you deal with people. Not by hugging."
"Shuh!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:29 pm
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH!"
"GOOD GOD, LITTLE MAN! HAVE YOU LUNGS OF STEEL?!"
Sy had gone back to his coin and supplied no answer, simply making little grabby fists at the psycho b***h who had--oh, wait.
What was her name? Something like...Brittney. Or...Melissa. Natalie? ********, he didn't remember. All he knew was that she had been moderately coherent and far more attractive than the armcandy he had just seen.
And so he moved to the end of her bench.
"Yo."
"Abbah."
Jesse laughed a bit eerily and pocketed the sixty-three dollars he'd found in the man's wallet.
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:32 pm
"Hey, it's you."
Nat sat up, though only to settle herself more comfortably upside down on the bench. Her head hung over the edge of it, splinters digging into her neck if she moved.
"So. Lose any other important bits since I seen you last?"
Fiore screeched and bounced in his carrier, hands stretching out towards a familiar spiky orangey thing that made very loud noises.
"TAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE."
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:36 pm
"I was castrated by a dolphin," Jesse said absentmindedly before tossing the wallet out into the street once more, "No. I got me a badass splinter, though." He waved a bandaged left hand.
'Splinter' was maybe an understatement. 'Shard of glass from a bottle I broke over someone's head' was maybe more appropriate.
Silas grunted and groaned, trying to reach the thing with the pretty hair.
"Nnnnnah. Nah. MMMMMMPH-AH!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:47 pm
"I gush utter relief," Nat said, shaking her head slowly from side to side so that her hair trailed over the dusty ground. "Women everywhere would have wept to hear such news."
She picked her teeth with a nail, looking up at Jesse and ignoring the uncomfortable pounding of blood as it rushed to her head, leaving her dangling legs starting to go numb.
"Gonna get creative with your perfectly legal earnings later, I'm guessing?"
Fiore, face scrunching up in distress, clumsily tugged at the strap keeping him firmly in place in the carrier. Drat the thing!
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:52 pm
Jesse laughed, but made no verbal remark. Really, what were you supposed to say to that? 'You're a b***h. I like it.'?
"Oh, I'm gonna go find me some'a those women you're talkin' about."
It was a blatant lie. Silas needed food. There was no excitement in Jesse's immediate future. Speaking of Silas, he had easily navigated his way out of his netting-sling and flopped to the bench headfirst, laying like a lump of meat or a beached seal. That was it. The best he could do.
"Fo."
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:56 pm
"Daaahling," Nat drawled, "I can set you up. I moonlight as a heartless and devious brothel madam. I'll give you one on the house."
Fiore squealed.
"Tai Tai Tai," he chirped, sitting up and grabbing at any bit of Silas he could reach.
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:58 pm
"Do you mean...literally on the house?" Jesse asked, arching a brow and holding his hand up horizontally, as if you somehow replicate a coupling on a roof somewhere.
Sy giggled, even as his hair was tugged.
"Fo!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:04 pm
"If you choose to be a blatant exhibitionist," Nat said with a snort. "All I ask is that you keep the noise level down. I've had complaints in the past, evidently the family next door with the four little brats doesn't quite care for the live-action porno soundtrack."
Biting at his own hair, Fiore burbled and tugged at the safety strap. He wanted to hug and play. This stupid thing was cramping his style.
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:08 pm
"Oh, c'mon!" Jesse whined lustily, "That's the best part!" Why, oh, why were they having this conversation?
Well, it didn't seem that Fo was going to be able to go anywhere. His mother clearly believed in those straps of enslavement, the damnable devices. he pulled himself forward, using the edge of the horrible contraption to drag himself half into Fo's personal bubble.
And then he collapsed, trembling.
"Pbbblllllth."
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:14 pm
"I fully agree, but you just can't reason with some people," Nat said with a mournful sigh. "Damn uptight ******** on the bench, unable to bear the growing headache any longer, she sat up and spun in her seat, tail curling over one leg. She ignored the way her shirt had twisted, riding up and exposing a few inches of her belly.
Glad for the company, Fiore moved on instinct and hugged Silas with a happy gurgle. It almost took his mind off the stupid evil restraints that kept him from escaping Mummy.
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:18 pm
Jesse clicked his tongue.
"See, we don't have that problem back at home," he said, and found his eyes wandering to the newly-exposed skin. Sweet mother of God, you knew you were far too deprived of womankind when a bit of naval and some stomach got you all curious.
Silas sighed and hugged Fo back, trying to ignore the burny kinda pain in his chest from working so hard.
And then he noticed something interesting.
He leaned over far, smooshing Fo's head into his chest, and patted one of Nat's breasts, happily giggling.
"SY!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:23 pm
Natalia was halfway through a smirk and catty response when she felt a very unwelcome touch on something very personal. Her ears set back and she growled, lips curling over teeth on instinct. When she saw it was Silas, she shuddered slightly.
"Hnn. I'm guessing he takes after you," she said to Jesse, flinging an arm over her chest and edging away from the perverted-infant creature. Blecch. Yet another reason to dislike children.
Fio, face effectively smothered, gave a small burble and waited patiently for Silas to get off. He kinda needed to breathe.
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