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I feel like a freaking leper!

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Raine Baelia

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:47 pm


It seems like not many people are around me anymore. Most of me friends are smokers and partiers. It sucks. Ever if they don't feel like that I do. Like if I'm around, it's annoying cause they can't smoke when they want. I had another kinda friend who was pregnany and our close, mutual friend would make time to spend with her then but not me now. I hate being alone and left off.

Please talk me down on this.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:35 pm


I'm not sure how much help I'll be. I do remember being pregnant with my first child. I had a lot of single, party friends. IT hurt my feelings at first that they avoided me, but in the long run I know I didn't really want that around my children.

I did have one or two friends that would make time to spend even just a few minutes. Talk with them and let them know how you feel. If the friendship is that strong, they'll work around it.

lunashock


ElaborateDream

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 3:48 pm


I remember the same thing..now...I found a group of new friends...other mommies...

instead of talking about music and movies..we talk about poop and funny things our kids do.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:55 pm


I felt that way for a while, not that my friends are/were partiers or smokers, but the whole alone-ness is pretty standard. By having a child, you are taking a big step up in the world, everything is suddenly much more schedualed and important, your values and ideas of what needs to be done and what should happen changes. Before I had Cas, I would get a wild hair to go run up to walmart at three am and get chocolate, soda, candy, and movies, stay up all night and the next day, and crash for a day.
With a baby, you can't wake them up, drag them out, it's just not workable. I don't want to live on candy, soda, and chips anymore, I can't crash for a day, I have to simi stay on a schedual.
Back in thoes pre-Cas days, I had a bundh of friends, over twenty, that I regurlary hung out with. Most of them drifted off durring the pregnancy, and now I have about six close friends that I regurlarly talk to, only one of them are in town, the rest live elcewhere.
Yes, you 'loose' a bunch of friends, but it also shows you who your real friends are. I think it's worth it to loose a bunch of simi-friends, to gain a few, or even just one really close friend you can depend on.

Shinys


Raine Baelia

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:36 pm


Shinys
I felt that way for a while, not that my friends are/were partiers or smokers, but the whole alone-ness is pretty standard. By having a child, you are taking a big step up in the world, everything is suddenly much more schedualed and important, your values and ideas of what needs to be done and what should happen changes. Before I had Cas, I would get a wild hair to go run up to walmart at three am and get chocolate, soda, candy, and movies, stay up all night and the next day, and crash for a day.
With a baby, you can't wake them up, drag them out, it's just not workable. I don't want to live on candy, soda, and chips anymore, I can't crash for a day, I have to simi stay on a schedual.
Back in thoes pre-Cas days, I had a bundh of friends, over twenty, that I regurlary hung out with. Most of them drifted off durring the pregnancy, and now I have about six close friends that I regurlarly talk to, only one of them are in town, the rest live elcewhere.
Yes, you 'loose' a bunch of friends, but it also shows you who your real friends are. I think it's worth it to loose a bunch of simi-friends, to gain a few, or even just one really close friend you can depend on.


But what if I don't have any real friends?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:01 am


sad That would be sad, Raine. But hopefully, at least one or two will stick around. If not, it may be time to start looking into joining Mommy and Me groups or find places to meet other mothers to make friends with.

And besides, if they weren't good friends, you're better off not having them. I'd rather have fewer friends who I know are really my friends then a bunch of people I know will drop me when I become inconvenient for them.


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MysticfawN

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:52 am


Maybe in a few years they'll become parents too, and then you'll have something in common to talk about again! I remember being the only couple in my in-laws family WITHOUT kids, and I did feel pretty isolated that way too. They were all talking about pregnancy and babies, and I couldn't relate. But I caught up eventually!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:48 am


I'm kinda lucky cos my friendcircle kinda just shifted around... and when I want a girls night out I still get one with my old galpals, who do love babies and plan to spoil mine... but I mean already when I got married things changed a lot, you're not just about you, there's two of you and you have to coordinate your schedules. Last-minute plans don't work out that often any more, whereas they were the basis of all of our hangings-out before.
It's just kindof a fact of life, you can still be friends w/ the people you used to hang out w/ but you're in totally different places in your life, you can't expect things to stay the same, you don't have as much in common as you used to. Make new friends who are in the same place in life, keep in touch with the old ones, and when your old friends 'catch up' to you then you have things in common again... plus you'll be the one who knows what they're talking about!

OrgasmicLipgloss

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Pregnancy

 
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