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 Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:37 pm
First off, let me sjut state I'm not depressed or anything..Least not that I'm aware of. I was in a huge depression that lasted near two years roughly 4 years ago. I've become really emotional lately(since last summer), however so that may be a factor.(I cut aswell, but not because i'm sad..because of just...s**t happening I can't control that I bame myself for. Things like that, I have low self-image. But I wouldn't say i'm depressed.)
But...My main question. Is it normal to think about death, nearly all the time? Your own death? Not exactly suicide and killing yourself(I never think that, not even when I cut. death -scares- me honeslty when it comes to suicide.)
For example...I'm driving to school, nearly everytime durring driving. I can't help but picture myself crashing into the car ahead of me, running a red light, getting slamed into. and being killed. I'm like this with EVERYTHING. If i look over a rarling for a building or something. I'll picture myself falling over and falling to death. hell, even taking a bath I do this. I picture myself actadently falling asleep and drowning. Or if i'm showering, I'll slip and hit my head and bleed to death. Content things like this, in everyday situlations. All I can picture is my own death.
I tried stopping this..as I feel it's not right to be thinking like that...But I never been able to. I've thought like this for years now. It doesn't bother me in the least, Not like it stops me form daily life, but..I'm just wondering is it /healthy/?
I mean..I live a perfectly happy life. I'm heading into colege this fall, I got a job, a loving boyfriend, awesome family and friends. So Being depressed isn't something I'd be.(I enjoy myself so.)
But..that pictureing death...everywhere..of myself. Just is soemthing i want to know../why/ I do that. Do I wish for death? am I really actually depressed and suicidal but don't want to admit it? Or am I just 100% paranoid and jsut /fear/ i'm going to die if I do something?
anyone opinions I'd love on this subject.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:02 pm
Depression has nothing to do with being depressed. Being depressed means just being sad. Clinical depression, on the other hand, is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There is a lot of confusion about that because the words are really misleading.
People with clinical depression might have great lives, with lots of money, good grades, and a loving partner, but that stuff can't ward off a chemical imbalance. That's something completely unrelated to all of those things. Kind of like saying, "I can't have cancer, I have a good life!" So you certainly can still have depression even though your life is pretty good right now.
Your best bet is to talk to a therapist or school counselor. It is not normal or healthy to have those thoughts or to cut. Cutting is never a healthy or appropriate was to deal with anything, not matter how awful it is.
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 12:04 pm
if what you say is true that you get these thoughts all of the time i dont know waht to tell you. but i get them too. like ill be crossing the street and i can picture perfectly a bus slaming into me and thats that. or i can see walking next to a construction area and see a metal bean fall of and land ontop of me. i dont think its anything you have to really worry about untill it starts affecting what you do everyday. or you could be just a very caustious person. i think i get it from my dad, he always tells me that accidents happen, and i think i picture these things as a way for myself to be extra carefull.
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 11:28 am
Depression is not something to toy with. So, if you really are thinking about death a lot you should seek medical help immediately! A doctor can help you with this problem by putting you on medications and or having you see a shrink. Help yourself by doing so and things will become better.
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