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 Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:46 pm
Kay, I've only told one of my friends that I'm gay, and he's getting used to the idea(though I think he isn't completely convinced. I'm not straight acting, but I'm not a flaming queen, and I think that's what he views as gay). I intentionally told him first because I really like him, and I had to be completely open with him. Well, it's been about half a year since then, and now I'm on and off thinking that he could very well be a closeted gay/bisexual. I'm pretty sure he's straight, that's how he advertises himself as, but there are a lot of times where he's too caring for me to accept the thought of him being 100% straight.
My issue is how to go about dealing with this.
1. Should I try to see if he's bi(and how I would go about doing this)?
2. Or should I just not even try and find someone else?
Thanks in advance.
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 7:20 pm
If denial
ain't just a river in Egypt... The biggest problem I've found in being in that situation (and trust me I've been there) is that I only looked at some of the aspects and not at all of them. Sure he may do some things that seems questionable but who knows. However, this doesn't completely discredit the chance that he may be in the closet. Why don't you describe some of these "caring" situations that you have been in.
Oh, and you're signature take up seven times the maximum bandwidth, you may want to remove that animation. ...then despair is not something in the trunk of your car.
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 7:35 pm
Well let's see... most times are kinda complicated to explain to someone else, but one example was not too much after I told him that I was gay. He mentioned a scene from Rules of Attraction when the gay main character(I haven't seen the movie yet, but I kinda want to) gets thrown out of his friend's dorm room for kissing him. He told me "I don't want you to get thrown out of someone's room.".
Some of the aforementioned 'caring' moments could very well just be him being a good friend, but my damn heart wants to believe that we could have something. Plus, he's not too against hugging. whee But if he is bi, he probably doesn't want to try being gay, because he's kinda afraid of what people think of him. So that leads me to believe I may be right in my suspicions.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:40 pm
If denial
ain't just a river in Egypt... I guess I can understand your suspicions of him. I can't really think of how but you may want to possibly confront him with it. Maybe when you both are alone together and tell him your sorry. He'll say "About what?". and you could say something like "I feel really bad that I keep thinking of you and I don't want it to ruin our friendship but I needed to tell you that I sometimes think about what would happen if we were more than friends." I know this will scare the crap out of him... probably either way but this is all I can think of at the moment. ...then despair is not something in the trunk of your car.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:04 pm
That's about what I was thinking of doing. I just have to wait for the right time. Not anytime soon though, since the next time I'll be alone with him will be sometime into the summer. And I don't want to tell him online because he has a habit of getting off or leaving the computer at the most inopportune of times. Plus I told him I was gay via PM here on Gaia, so I should probably go about this in person.
Thanks for your help! ^_^
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:09 pm
If denial
ain't just a river in Egypt... No problem, PM me anytime if you need more advice or to tell me how the conversation went (I'm curious). ...then despair is not something in the trunk of your car.
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:13 pm
Alright cool. As long as it doesn't go horribly awry, then I'll be sure to tell you how it went.
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 8:27 pm
whee I haven't been able to talk to him about it yet, but I saw him for the first time in a month on Friday and he hugged me like 3 times. Actually, he hugged me once, and I hugged him twice, but whatever. It's the warm and fuzzies that count.
Although my morale of heart dramatically increased, there are complications, and I'm not sure if I'm gonna want to touch this issue for a little. He has and has had a gf for a little(actually not too long after I posted this message. Maybe even before). I haven't met her, but I've talked to her online and she seems nice. I'm NOT going to try to steal my best friend's happiness away from him, even if that costs me my happiness. Because although having a great bf(and actually having one) seems great, I don't think it would be cool to throw out the whole "Hey dude, I like you." card quite yet.
A while ago I asked him "Would it be horrible if I said I liked you?", and he said no, but then soon after suggested that I try getting a gf. Because I still haven't completely ruled out the possibility of me being bi, and when I came out I said "Unless I'm bi, yeah, I'm gay.". >_< Damn my usage of words. Well I was easing him into the thought.
...Rawr, I'm ranting, but I need to.
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 8:07 pm
I still think he could be bi. But he only shows that sort of side of him when I'm with him alone/not with other guys. He does the normal straight guy act when he's with other guy friends, and then he starts to act like he COULD like me when no one else is around. But I'm not entirely sure that means he's bi/curious or anything. He just makes me love him more. whee
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 4:32 pm
God damn him making me love him more. He's quite cozy with his girlfriend, who I have now met. She's awesome, but of course I'm kinda jealous, so when they started getting all kissy and flirty, I got bothered. >_<; I hated it. But she's going on a mission trip for a month and a half in June, so... I won't have to deal with it. I will likely have to deal with "I miss Alley" or "I love Alley so much". Urg.
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