Here's some interesting advice a male advises to another male about how to skip doing child support.
I'm posting this not necessarily because I'm bent out of shape with this advice, because I understand that men who are not dead-beats have serious concerns over this issue. I'm mainly posting this as a heads up to women who are involved or getting involved with a relationship. It's not inherently a bad idea to wait before having kids, and to have separate accounts. But it is VERY important to think ahead and in the future as a preventative measure to help secure your best well-being.
It is of my opinion that while men get hurt financially, women get hurt even more by a failed stay-at-home mommy lifestyle that ends in divorce. That things such as loopholes in avoiding child support payments can be reality.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/rnr/312132273.html
Quote:
RE;Why Men under 50 should not have kids with Women under 40 unless
Reply to: pers-312132273@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-14, 8:58PM PDT
I'm right there with you bro' I try to tell the younger guys, to put it off as long as you can. When you decide to shack up, wait as long as you can to get married. "If" you are smart, you will wait untill you are in your 40's for children. A good rule of thumb is to live with your prospective female for at least 5 years before you start making babies. If she starts "pushing" the issue, that is your clue to BLAZE. Also if you hear her mother (or your mother) whining about grandchildren, that is also your clue to BLAZE. Hit the road buddy, and save yourself. The reason is simple, in the first five years, you will find out at that point "if" you want to spend another five. People that hook up young, split a lot of times after a year or two. If you have a kid in that first few years, guess what buddy, you are on the hook for many years to come. It's only being smart, to wait on marriage, and making babies, untill you find out where you fit in......in the big picture. You want to get out of school, figure out your carreer and get established. You could have kids and wind up paying child support later in life too. But chances are that later in life you will hopefully make some better choices. A little older and a little wiser. When you do hook up, do 6 things. 1) keep a bank account outside the state you reside in, and keep your mouth shut about it.(get a po box for statements) 2) get a passport. 3) always file your taxes seperately.4) If you ever do wind up paying child support,
always claim to be self employed and pay the monthly support with money orders.
Don't give them a paper trail directly to your bank account.(review #1)Money orders are perfectly legal, and can be purchased any where.5) always keep your credit seperate. You tell her, it's because if anything ever happens to you, she has her own credit(to ******** up) 6) if you purchase a house prior to hooking up, don't sell it, to get another one as she'll request (trust me on this one) What is yours before you hook up, is yours after you split. Don't ever pull a 2nd mortgage on that house or pull any loans against it. What you get together, you split. So if you have a house before you hook up, then your sweetie wants to get another crib, so you sell the house and use the procedes to purchase another one. Well you just stepped into a trap big boy. Now its what you have TOGETHER, and she gets half.
When you hook up with a woman, make good and damn sure its the one you want.
Or believe me buddy, you will pay dearly. And one more thing, stay away from women with kids from previous relationships. Avoid them like the ********' plague
You want headaches, hook up with one with kids. There are too many women in this world to have to deal with someone else's brats. Print this and put it somewhere.
================================================================================
I paid child support for 18 years. For 10+ of those years, my child lived with me, though I continued to pay support and did not receive a dime. When my child reached teenage rebellious years, he went to live with my ex, who within days filed a modification of child support.
Even though I paid monthly child support to Health & Welfare without fail, my wages were immediately garnished without any communication from them. You can probably guess that the amount went up drastically too. I went in to the Caldwell Health and Welfare office to talk about the case and was coldly told by some old bag to just pay it, I owe it to HER. Hello? I owe it to HER?! The old lady was absolutely on the woman's side and would not listen at all. Classic stereotyping that takes place - we're nothing but a bunch of deadbeat Dad's and to just shut up and pay the money due to our exes.
Years later, my child turned 18. Did support stop? No. I called Health & Welfare and was told that my ex-wife would have to certify that my child was no longer in school and they'd send a letter to her. I tried to tell them that they were wasting their time - why would she return a letter to cut off a great source of income? I explained that my child had not been in school for many years (yet another thing I'd fought with them about before)- having dropped out soon after going to live with her (as well as quickly getting a police record for several different incidents). I rattled off the list of schools that my child had either dropped out of, or been kicked out of and that he was even supposed to be studying for his GED at the probation office, but failed to attend. I was told coldly that my child could be attending another school, that I could not prove otherwise and I would just have to wait for my ex-wife to sign off!
Weeks and weeks passed and there was no letter - no contact. So, I called Health and Welfare again. Suprise, suprise - they had not received a response from her. But this time I had called the Boise office and actually talked to a woman that seemed to care. I repeated everything I had said in my previous call, and she thought that certified letters from the schools/probation department, as well as a letter from me would suffice.
I wrote up a letter requesting that child support be stopped. In this letter I detailed the entire horrible experience... 2 pages worth. I also received letters from 3 schools and the probation office stating that my child was kicked out or dropped out of school, and the dates.
So, I took all of it in to the Caldwell Health and Welfare office. A younger lady this time, but just as uncaring and cold. She was not convinced this letter and proof of non-schooling would suffice. Go figure. She called her supervisor (a man), who after a few minutes of review of school records, told her to put a stop order.
The letter was then filed, without a single person ever looking at it!!
Summary: Health and Welfare still lives in the dark ages and subscribes to the theory that a Mom provides the best home and a Dad is always the deadbeat Dad. They care nothing more than to receive your money. Oh, and if they make an error and make you pay more than you owe (remember... wage garnishments you cannot control), you are at their mercy and must wait for a check to refund you - you cannot pick up the money - even if it means you are now overdrafted or can't pay for your own house payment. Now comes the issue of accountability. They don't care if the child support receivee is snorting every last dime of the money you pay to help better your child. They don't care if your child is living in a house full of police visits and is witness to domestic violence. They don't care if your child is going to school. They really just don't care about the child. It's just a business.
Now as the Dad paying child support... you better not be late with your payment. They WILL enforce the order. Read your support order - there is a lien placed on your home. Tax returns are seized. You can be jailed.
Health and Welfare is a government office - we the taxpayers fund. Our best interests are not being served. How do we make a change?
* Location: planet earth
* it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 312132273
Reply to: pers-312132273@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-14, 8:58PM PDT
I'm right there with you bro' I try to tell the younger guys, to put it off as long as you can. When you decide to shack up, wait as long as you can to get married. "If" you are smart, you will wait untill you are in your 40's for children. A good rule of thumb is to live with your prospective female for at least 5 years before you start making babies. If she starts "pushing" the issue, that is your clue to BLAZE. Also if you hear her mother (or your mother) whining about grandchildren, that is also your clue to BLAZE. Hit the road buddy, and save yourself. The reason is simple, in the first five years, you will find out at that point "if" you want to spend another five. People that hook up young, split a lot of times after a year or two. If you have a kid in that first few years, guess what buddy, you are on the hook for many years to come. It's only being smart, to wait on marriage, and making babies, untill you find out where you fit in......in the big picture. You want to get out of school, figure out your carreer and get established. You could have kids and wind up paying child support later in life too. But chances are that later in life you will hopefully make some better choices. A little older and a little wiser. When you do hook up, do 6 things. 1) keep a bank account outside the state you reside in, and keep your mouth shut about it.(get a po box for statements) 2) get a passport. 3) always file your taxes seperately.4) If you ever do wind up paying child support,
always claim to be self employed and pay the monthly support with money orders.
Don't give them a paper trail directly to your bank account.(review #1)Money orders are perfectly legal, and can be purchased any where.5) always keep your credit seperate. You tell her, it's because if anything ever happens to you, she has her own credit(to ******** up) 6) if you purchase a house prior to hooking up, don't sell it, to get another one as she'll request (trust me on this one) What is yours before you hook up, is yours after you split. Don't ever pull a 2nd mortgage on that house or pull any loans against it. What you get together, you split. So if you have a house before you hook up, then your sweetie wants to get another crib, so you sell the house and use the procedes to purchase another one. Well you just stepped into a trap big boy. Now its what you have TOGETHER, and she gets half.
When you hook up with a woman, make good and damn sure its the one you want.
Or believe me buddy, you will pay dearly. And one more thing, stay away from women with kids from previous relationships. Avoid them like the ********' plague
You want headaches, hook up with one with kids. There are too many women in this world to have to deal with someone else's brats. Print this and put it somewhere.
================================================================================
I paid child support for 18 years. For 10+ of those years, my child lived with me, though I continued to pay support and did not receive a dime. When my child reached teenage rebellious years, he went to live with my ex, who within days filed a modification of child support.
Even though I paid monthly child support to Health & Welfare without fail, my wages were immediately garnished without any communication from them. You can probably guess that the amount went up drastically too. I went in to the Caldwell Health and Welfare office to talk about the case and was coldly told by some old bag to just pay it, I owe it to HER. Hello? I owe it to HER?! The old lady was absolutely on the woman's side and would not listen at all. Classic stereotyping that takes place - we're nothing but a bunch of deadbeat Dad's and to just shut up and pay the money due to our exes.
Years later, my child turned 18. Did support stop? No. I called Health & Welfare and was told that my ex-wife would have to certify that my child was no longer in school and they'd send a letter to her. I tried to tell them that they were wasting their time - why would she return a letter to cut off a great source of income? I explained that my child had not been in school for many years (yet another thing I'd fought with them about before)- having dropped out soon after going to live with her (as well as quickly getting a police record for several different incidents). I rattled off the list of schools that my child had either dropped out of, or been kicked out of and that he was even supposed to be studying for his GED at the probation office, but failed to attend. I was told coldly that my child could be attending another school, that I could not prove otherwise and I would just have to wait for my ex-wife to sign off!
Weeks and weeks passed and there was no letter - no contact. So, I called Health and Welfare again. Suprise, suprise - they had not received a response from her. But this time I had called the Boise office and actually talked to a woman that seemed to care. I repeated everything I had said in my previous call, and she thought that certified letters from the schools/probation department, as well as a letter from me would suffice.
I wrote up a letter requesting that child support be stopped. In this letter I detailed the entire horrible experience... 2 pages worth. I also received letters from 3 schools and the probation office stating that my child was kicked out or dropped out of school, and the dates.
So, I took all of it in to the Caldwell Health and Welfare office. A younger lady this time, but just as uncaring and cold. She was not convinced this letter and proof of non-schooling would suffice. Go figure. She called her supervisor (a man), who after a few minutes of review of school records, told her to put a stop order.
The letter was then filed, without a single person ever looking at it!!
Summary: Health and Welfare still lives in the dark ages and subscribes to the theory that a Mom provides the best home and a Dad is always the deadbeat Dad. They care nothing more than to receive your money. Oh, and if they make an error and make you pay more than you owe (remember... wage garnishments you cannot control), you are at their mercy and must wait for a check to refund you - you cannot pick up the money - even if it means you are now overdrafted or can't pay for your own house payment. Now comes the issue of accountability. They don't care if the child support receivee is snorting every last dime of the money you pay to help better your child. They don't care if your child is living in a house full of police visits and is witness to domestic violence. They don't care if your child is going to school. They really just don't care about the child. It's just a business.
Now as the Dad paying child support... you better not be late with your payment. They WILL enforce the order. Read your support order - there is a lien placed on your home. Tax returns are seized. You can be jailed.
Health and Welfare is a government office - we the taxpayers fund. Our best interests are not being served. How do we make a change?
* Location: planet earth
* it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 312132273
