Aimbotters: A: Three hundred seventy of my trained assassin gymnasts crest the hill, sight you, and rush toward you.
B: Luckily, I have three hundred sixty-nine bullets in my chain gun! I quickly mow them all down, each taking a single bullet to the head, and peg the last one with a rock in the sternum.
Godmoders: Obvious.
A: Now that you're strapped to the end of a naval cannon, I fire it.
B: Whoosh! I nimbly dodge, somehow forgetting the fact that I'm restrained by three-hundred-pound chain!
IDKFA-ers: Most likely people attempting to emulate Solid Snake or some other cheesy spy-novel hero.
A: You're all out of ammo for all five of your Ingram submachine guns, 501!|). Since you're buck-naked, I know I can now safely step into the open and begin returning fire.
B: Ha! Little did you know, I have twelve shuriken hidden within my pubic hair!
Twinks: Sometimes allowed in certain RPs. If the RP isn't specifically about invincible deities and such, a simple rule is that if the strengths aren't counterbalanced with relatively equivalent weaknesses (or if the reasoning behind the phenomenal cosmic powers isn't eloquently and appropriately explained), you're dealing with a twink.
A: A punch coming, eh? Well, seeing as you're a seven-year-old child and I'm riding in a twenty-meter mecha, I won't bother dodging.
B: Fooled you! I have the power to DESTROY EVERYTHING when I punch it! I'm just like an X-Man, and therefore require you to suspend all logic when RPing with me! Oh, and I have the power to steal your girlfriend, too.
Min-maxers: Not a lot of those running around here, thank goodness... that's more of a DnD-style paper game issue.
A: I've successfully broken into the facility which gave you your incredibly 1337 power armor. Now I pull up the file on it. What does it say about weak points?
B: The metal of my armor is... um... allergic to praying mantis urine.
Miss Cleos: Obvious.
A: ((OOC: There's a secret switch hidden in the lamp.))
B: I suddenly think to myself-- why not check the lamp for hidden switches? Call me now for your free reading!
McFlys: An all-too-common menace.
A: Ha! Now that the force field is down, I run inside your evil lair!
B: Um... um... there's also a super-secret second force field which causes you to die instantly! I just didn't say anything about it because... um... I had to do my laundry! Not because I just thought of it now! Honestly!
Puppetmasters: Another overly common occurrence.
A: I step carefully into the room, peering around for occupants.
B: Suddenly a dragon pokes you in the eye. You run screaming from the room, whereafter you go home, make a pickle sandwich, and call your mother to cry about how she ruined your life.
Daydreamers: Not exactly munch, per se, but it does get annoying.
A: In the middle of the intense shootout, I dash across the narrow alley, ducking and weaving in hopes to avoid getting hit. I'm unsuccessful; two bullets peg me in the shoulder, throwing me back into a Dumpster.
B: The bullets make me think back to my days as a youth, when I had to melt down tin soldiers to use as musket balls against the Redcoats... or was it redskins? I can't remember. Anyway, I had to walk uphill all three ways to school and back, running from glaciers all the while. It was torture, lemme tell ya. And then there's the story of how I met my first wife...
Prosecutors: People who claim every one else is Munching when they are the only one who is. [Thought of by Asmodeus The Crow]
A: I, a powerful fire mage, cast a combustion spell at the tree you are in. Thus setting a large portion of the tree on fire.
B: I think about what to do, jump off the tree or run down it. I choose run down the tree through the fire, but I don't catch on fire.
A: ((That doens't make sense...))
B: ((Oh, but it does! The fire couldn't have spread fast on that dry old tree. It was still a small fire and it was just god-modding to make itself big!))
Shoe elves: Pretty obvious.
A: ((OOC: Well, gotta go to bed. Big neurosurgery test tomorrow.))
B: Ho, ho, ho! Now that the loser's gone to bed, I can strap his character to a cross and peg him with rotten fruit!
Revisionists: Another prevalent problem.
A: You chose the blue pill? Ooh, tough luck.
B: Red! I said red!
Don't go pulling that "I can read your previous post" mind game crap, either!
Speedhackers: One of the worst we have to deal with.
A: I walk to the door and step outside.
B: Suddenly, twelve men grab you, carry you off to my secret lair in Tibet, and torture you for weeks. When you finally die from the agony, we bury you in the frozen wastes. Hundreds of years later, arhcaeologists discover your frozen body and try to determine if you're another Lucy.
Oxymorons: Luckily rare.
A: I'm a farmer with a shotgun.
B: I'm a black hole which emits blinding pulses of visible light!
(For those of you not familiar with physics, black holes allow
nothing out of their immense gravity. Not even light can escape.)
Baghdad Bobbits: An advanced (or is that "degraded"?) form of Puppetmaster and Aimbotter combined.
A: I fire at the stationary target, hitting twice but missing with my remaining four rounds.
B: I get tired of your realistic RPing style and poke you in the neck, collapsing your trachea. You die writhing in torment.
Hives: So named after such things as the xenomorphs from Aliens, the Klendathu bugs from Starship Troopers, and the teeming hoardes they generally are. These hoardes are always fearless, will battle until dead, and quite often have some excessive weapons and/or armour.
Basically, it's the guys who have too many NPCs.
A: *He sat alone in his one-man fighter ship, quickly scanning the radar for hostiles*
B: *He sat aboard his giant flagship, with his other 1000 ships around him. He ordered them all to attack the tiny fighter in front of them."
Gaseous Snakes: An advanced (or is that "dumb"?) form of McFlys.
A: I walk to the door and open it.
B: Being a fellow with a bit of foresight, I hooked that doorknob to a car battery an hour ago. You're thrown across the room.
Augustines: Far, far too prevalent.
A: Given that this RP's technology base is midieval, I happily drive my cart to the market to buy some maggot-ridden meat.
B: Too late! I already got there in my Gundam and blew up everything with my insanely overpowered weapons! And don't start whining, because my Gundam's already pre-approved in the "This Is Not a Midieval Technology Base RP" thread.
Ironclad Sentinels: This is fast becoming a problem, and refers to when a thread's subject organisation/corporation/military has too many defenses, or defenses that are unrealistically powerful or just plain 'modey. [This AMP suggestion created by kodachi3]
A: I am attacking with a battalion of thirty tanks, air support of twenty gun-ships, and three submarines off the coast with Tomahawk cruise missiles.
B: Defenses - Forcefield that blocks everything but lets our weapons out, invisibility shield around the base, 100 SAM turrets, 100 machine gun turrets, 1000 guards with machine guns, 200 space fighters, 200 tanks.
Batmen: Only a few, but they're a b***h to deal with.
A: In this Fantastic Four RP, I'll be Ben, the gruff rock-man with a heart of gold.
B: I'll be Reed Richards, the living sex toy who hunts down innocent women to subdue with his incredible flexibility!
Zoicite: The people who alter thier character as needed for the situation.
Example: They can turn from an angel to a demon to a dragon to a gundam pilot to a janitor to a literal fly-on-the-wall to an ogre magi to the sacred holder of that important plot element that they need to do what they want.
Trinity: The knowledge downloaders, the omniscience wizards.
A: My character was raised by a gang leader in the harsh conditions of a slum. From this, he learned to wield small firearms fairly effectively and has limited driving abilities.
B: My character was born on a remote jungle island and can fly or drive anything and use any gun with perfect aim.
Quakers: They can magically 'spawn' anything.
A: My character is wearing a form of armour only vulnerable to a drop of water from a holy well in South Dakota.
B: *He pulls out the vial of water from a holy well in South Dakota* "I don't know why I always carried this, but I knew it would come in useful one day."
Nightcrawlers: *Bamf* Hi there!
A: My character is having an intimate conversation in the middle of Canada, in a tree top hidden within the forest.
B:My character walks up, presses ear to door and listens.
This can be done several different ways. It can be an obnoxious person randomly walking up, or an enemy guild leader "incidently" over hearing attack plans.
Timewizards: Borderline godmoding.
A: Five people fire their uzi's, each releasing ten bullets a peice. Also, there are two missles locked onto you and there are five giant Ice weasels jumping to assault you. ((All this is spaced to hit you in the span of one second, starting with the bullets, then the missles, and finally the ice weasels.))
B: I use my indestructable blade to block one missle, then shove two of the weasels in front of me to block the bullets. Finally, I jump on the missle and direct it at the remaining weasels, jumping off at the last second!
Usually goes hand in hand with godmoding, but it's different. It's when you manipulate the timeline, or do things that you could never possibly do in the time alloted.
*Inspired by the actions of Teh Riddle Master*
I'm evil... But not!!! Either a nuisance, or a munch.
A: ((In this rp, you are allowed to be a vampire, or a human. Human's are good, vampire's are bad.))
B: My vampire character raises a hand to cut into the child, but then lowers it slowly. He begins to cry, wishing that he did not have to drink blood. He had ran into the forest and painted his nails black, and wrote a song. This is how he got a soul.
A: GTFO.
This one is an irk of many more experienced roleplayers. I generally request a decent amount of explanation/plot for something as extreme as a
Half breeds:
I'm a half angel half demon half dragon half werewolf half potted plant!
Speaks for itself. More than two different breeds needs balances.
