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 Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:23 pm
Jordan had wanted to sit at the cliffs again, but that meant passing through the jungle, or at least a part of it, and he was afraid to venture too deep on his own. His fear was preventing himself from going too far and the isolation was eating at him. He needed to be around others and his nervous paranoia of every sound, movement, and shadow had made living down by the beach even more nightmarish. Sure, there was the dirt road into the village, but that was it. Jordan’s exercise regime was being interrupted by the seizing terror of the unknown. He didn’t want to live in fear the rest of his days. He also didn’t have much choice about what was happening to him, so he had to suck it up, which wasn’t an easy task for him. He wasn’t a rock. He wasn’t strong. Jordan was weak and pathetic, a loser. That’s why he was on the island, because he failed at life. Despite his efforts to prove himself useful, he’d ostracized many and furthered the decay of lives, potentially. The internal strife was tearing him apart. He’d become aware of what had been employed to twist his mind and despite efforts to ignore those thoughts, they remained… as a part of him, a constant struggle to control himself, to be himself once more. The churning tides of internal conflict have yet to yield whether he Jordan can reclaim what little is left of his life and his humanity.
He’d made the usual pilgrimage to the cafeteria, but he wasn’t hungry. He just wanted some company more than anything. He was lonely and despite his efforts to eradicate his past influenced behavior, wanted to have someone to talk to without the stigma of past actions shrouding who he really was when left alone by everyone. Jordan pushed the plate away, steak and mashed potatoes unappetizing for the moment, and slumped forward, resting his head onto his folded arms, staring off t the side as his bottom lip trembled. He was on the verge of tears as he remained –mostly- motionless in the otherwise quiet setting.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:59 pm
Richard on the other hand was feeling better about her life. She was looking forward to getting some clothes that actually fit. And she had a task for today, that always helped her outlook, something to accomplish, even if the task was a bit grisly. Hoping to prevent a mishap later Richard swung by the cafeteria sate her own hunger first.
As she walked through the doors she savored the scents that drifted to her. Mostly the scent of fresh cooked meat, she could feel her muzzle filling with drool as she licked her chops. She advanced on the buffet a few steps before another scent caught her attention. It was new, but some how familar, and at the same time set a small part of her mind screaming: PREY!
She looked around the cafe, spotting Jordan's fuzzy form. She dropped down to all fours immediately, not wanted him to spot her. She had not thought of Jordan and his mysterious serums in quite awhile. Food would wait. The information would be so much sweeter if she could wring it out of him.
Feeling that he would flee if the dog caught wind of her, she pressed her tentacles flat against her back as she padded behind Jordan and pulled herself into a chair next to him. "Hello Jordan" She purred in that high voice.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:27 pm
He was wrapped up in himself at the moment, too much so to notice anyone else come in or out. As such, he wasn’t paying any attention to his surroundings as he believed himself to be alone in his quagmire. He was thinking back to the afternoon he’d met Thina, how he’d been forced to confront the loss of family for the first time since being in this abysmal hell of a floating prison. He didn’t have siblings and beyond his parents, he’d never really come to know his extended family. A picture or even some keepsake of theirs, some way to know they were alright and let them know that he wasn’t dead. He was brought from his reverie of lament- however- by an unfamiliar voice.
“Huh?” he asked, looking around but seeing no one, shrugging his shoulders and putting his head back down. It was more that he’d heard the sound of a voice than the actual words and without a trace of someone around him, he rationalized that he’d imagined it. Perhaps a figment, if nothing else. But then he lifted his head with a sigh and leaned back in his chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the form of someone and hesitant to see who it could be, he asked instead. “So I didn’t just imagine someone calling my name?”
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:50 pm
Richard was to caught up in the moment to lament her appearence or the unfamiliarity of her own voice. She could smell the dog man's bitter sweetscent, it triggered images of coffins and flowers to flow through her mind. A month or two ago the memories would over whelm her but now, now they seemed like someone else's life, stories she had read about, not lived them. It was a heavy funk of depression she smelled as she cataloged the scent deep within her brain.
Doggy Blues, she named Jordan's scent as she savored it. She reached out and closed a handpaw around his forearm as she settled into the seat besides him. She grinned at him, the saliva causing her teeth to gleam. "Is that gilded cage not working out for you any more Jordan."
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:28 pm
The grasp to his arm made him uneasy in his seat, but he didn’t run, nor attempt to run. He was in no mood to flee like a coward again. Instead, he glanced over at the owner of said paw and, in his current state, didn’t overreact, but still it left him with a surprised expression at the change in Richard’s exterior. There was only one feline with tentacles that he’d met, assuming this was Richard- or had been. He was… uh… she was… oh god it made his head hurt. He didn’t say anything at first. What could he say that wouldn’t be misconstrued as some sort of offense? Her changes made Jordan self-conscious as he tried to pull the shirt lower to conceal further his wriggling paws underneath, which he tried to keep hidden under the table.
Sure, he’d been afraid of Richard for some time and that hadn’t changed, but he was in some shock. Jordan tried to ignore the obvious attempt to goad him into a shouting match. “Something like that.” He remarked. He could have told Richard so much that had given him cause to rebel, but Jordan wasn’t sure if he could trust him.. her. “I know. I acted like an a**. Just rub it in and get it over with.” He huffed in resignation that the female cat would rub salt into the open wounds. “I’ve done things that I’m not proud of and I’m very sorry for it. I know…” he beat her to the punch “That doesn’t excuse any of it, but at least I’m trying to atone for my actions.” He glared at her for a moment, he’d wanted to stare her down, but he couldn’t because even moreso she terrified him.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:56 pm
She cocked her head to the side as she listened to Jordan. This was a surprise, she would have thought the cracks in what ever brain washing Jordan had undergone would be repaired by now.
That didn't appear to be the case, Jordan seemed broken but uncontrolled. Was it an act? She looked at him suspiciously, her eyes boring into him. She leaned close enough that had Jordan could feel her breath on his fur. She sniffed, as if she could smell the truth of his words.
She shifted, bringing her muzzle to his ear. "Atone?" She whispered as her tail lashed with excitement. "So glad you finally see the reality of our situation. I think I know how you might atone for me." There was little menace in her voice, he hadn't mentioned her new gender, and for that she was thankful. However she was very much in his personal space but to her, prey wasn't entitled to personal space.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
If it were an act, it was so deceitful that even he hadn’t been aware of it, but indeed he was not trying to deceive anyone. It was hard enough being a pawn of the labs up to this point, but now he was tasked with the impossible atonement phase to prove that he wasn’t attempting to stab everyone in the back once more.
Jordan was a burnt-out husk caught between factions and between the transformation process. He was unnerved by the closeness and the stares. Of course she had reason to be suspicious. They all did and it was the cross he had to bear till he could prove otherwise that he wasn’t up to another shady scheme. He pulled his head back, wrinkling his nose. She was too close for comfort and he didn’t like that at all.
Then she got too close, whispering in his ear and he froze. He was afraid to move away with her jaws so close, she could snap his neck if she so chose. Richard was going to be the hardest of all to convince. Seth had at least given him the benefit of the doubt, but there was no such luck with her. He wasn’t going to say anything self-incriminating beyond anything said so far and that made Richard twice as dangerous. She was good at getting him to say and do things out of anger. “Uh…? I’m afraid to ask.” He slumped his head back down, facing into his folded arms. Now he was going to be goaded into doing errands? “And just what do you want?” came the muffled words… eventually.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:23 pm
Richard reached across Jordan back to grab his far shoulder and pull the dog man closer to her. To an outside observer it might appear that Richard was attempting to comfort Jordan but the bolt straight tail and the tense muscles contradicted that. "What I want?" She whispered into his ear. "I want to know what they did to you to do what you did, to think what you did. I want to know about that second serum." If she could prove its existance, then she might be able to drive a wedge between Moreau and his staff. It would be a threat to their freedom of thought. Even the most loyal minion might have trouble stomaching that.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:49 pm
He was uncomfortable with her being so close. He was better off keeping his head down so he didn’t have to face that crazed expression of feline intensity. He could feel her breath closer and literally passing over his neck. It gave him goosebumps. Then came the meat and bones of it, the part that was half-expected, her continued quest to know everything and anything to use against the labs. Her request was dubious as he knew that was Pandora’s box. He wasn’t on the official roster of labs henchmen anymore, but it wasn’t like asking for a hard-kept cookie recipe from ages past. She was inquiring about something that would bring forth a world of pain and trouble for himself if he spoke on the matter. As it was, he skated on thin ice when he spoke in Richard’s presence.
Slowly, he lifted his head, as if the dead had risen, eyes wide with fear and contempt, and his hair cascading around his face. “Sorry, I don’t have your answers.” He responded in a near-whisper. He hated what Moreau was doing to him, forcing him to inject himself snapped him like a twig, telling him bold-faced what methods had been employed to control him so confidently and lording his power of control. He didn’t want to be a pawn, but he wanted to remain out of trouble at the same time. "I'm sorry...." he uttered softly, trailing off. He stared intently, eyes reflecting the terrible nature of what he'd been privvy to, what he'd done under the influence.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:12 pm
A soft growl escaped her lips. That was not what she wanted to here. "You injected yourself. You know what you injected. Don't you see? With proof of what it is, we could crack the staff's support. End this. Think of what could happen if its perfected Jordan. The consequences." There was a maddening mixture of hope and desperation in her voice. The more she thought about the loyalty serum's existance the large the consequences got and the more possiblities opened in her mind. Her grip tightened on Jordan clinging onto him.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:35 pm
She was scaring him, but that wasn’t so hard. He was equally scared by the possibilities. Was he hesitant because he was afraid of further punishment or was it that, in a sector of his mind, Jordan had been exposed to such a quantity that it was rewiring his mind to obedience despite his reluctance to be a pawn. An army of others under the sway of the loyalty serum… that could be disastrous if they were like him, trapped in a mental struggle between disobedience and subservience. Dog soldiers…
“Please don’t do this…” he choked, voice wavering. He rubbed his arm unconsciously, the spots where he’d jabbed himself when Moreau had forced him to do the dirty task of injection. “Don’t make me remember…” His eyes watered. Tears welled and rolled down his cheeks, onto the table. “I’m asking you nicely to stop…”
Richard could feel the shivers the moment they began as he was pulled closer/held tighter. Jordan- the real Jordan- had never been accepting of Feral’s practices, but he’d been manipulated to think otherwise for week and he wanted to forget that, everything that had happened in response to that accursed loyalty serum. He rubbed the pawpads of his right paw, wondering if it were even possible to stop it. “I’m trouble.. pursuing this can only result in yourself punished on my account.. I don’t want to cause any more problems..”
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:51 pm
She pulls him in tighter, place her muzzle directly into his ear and whispers so low that Jorden might have difficultly hearing it if his senses were normal. "Nice? I stopped being nice when Moreau made me into a monster, a predator. I've never hurt anyone before coming here. Now its second nature to lash out, to bite to claw, I crave rare meat and I fear raw might be even taster. I've looked at people and gotten hungry. I've been degraded... feminized. Nothing about this place is nice. You've been controlled, forced to do a man's bidding like a simple minded pet. Yet for that you might have the bullet to help us all. At least start something moving. Nice my a**. Its your responsibility."
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:19 pm
Unfortunately, he had little problem hanging onto the words as the descriptions elicited a shuddering cringe. Becoming a predatory creature that feasts on raw meat and views others as prey was intimidating enough as he tried not to make eye contact with her. She kept coming closer and closer with every moment and he wondered if he was going to become a target if he didn’t cooperate. Jordan was a coward in his later years, reality had crushed and molded him into that. “I don’t have responsibilities. My services for Moreau have ended and I’m free to do as I wish. Please let me have this chance to live out the rest of my life in some semblance of ‘freedom’ that you and the others of the village have enjoyed. You want to talk about the weather or shoot the breeze, that’s fine, but I’m sick of talking about the labs.”
He just wanted to live in peace and not have to think about the labs anymore. Whatever information she was so adamant about wasn’t his concern and he was not obligated to give it to her, nor anyone else. He couldn’t even get a moment’s peace to be alone with his thoughts outside the miserable confines of his beachside duplex. How was one to co-exist when when someone like Richard wanted- persistently- information regarding the labs. Jordan swiveled his head to meet her gaze head-on, consequences be damned.
“I’m sorry for what he’s done to you, but to say this is my responsibility? Let’s get something straight: I don’t work for Moreau anymore and I certainly don’t have to fire the ‘silver bullet’ that ends this horror.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:46 pm
She released him with a frustrated growl. "You've been released to do as you please and yet your still to much of a coward to do anything about it. Refusing to help who you victemized. You said you wanted to make amends, atone." She leaned in again. "I'm giving you the opportunity, but apparently you didn't really mean that." Richard had no idea exactly what Jordan's responsibilities were but was certain they did not help the islanders.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:12 pm
The moment she released Jordan, he pushed his chair out, ready to stand at any time. He didn’t want this same routine of aggravation and inevitable argument from Richard or from anyone else for that matter. He wanted nothing more to do with any of this. “You can’t place this on my head.” He scowled, upset by the accusations. “I’m not responsible for any of this, you or anyone else who’s trapped here. I’m not a martyr, nor am I the great hero who’ll save us and others from living out this fate.” Jordan shook his head as he really didn’t want to be in this position. “I’ve made my peace with Seth for what I did to him, but you’re not going to allow me to make amends with you. So be it, Richard. That’s your choice, not mine.” And with that, he stood, taking his plate with him. “I’ll finish my meal in more hospitable company.” As he turned his back on her, he raised his free hand, snapped his fingers as best he could with difficulty (which resulted in his claws clicking) and said plainly, with some annoyed attitude “I may be a coward, but fear keeps me alive.”
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