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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 6:43 am
I did not make this. Some brilliant(spell check?) person made it.
Hello, fellow adventurers. During your many travels through our beautiful land of Gaia, you may come across a very special and unique creature: the n00b.
The n00b is a remarkable creature as it disguises itself as a regular citizen of Gaia. This is the n00b's primary form of attack as it will allow the wily n00b to get quite close to you before inflicting damage. Luckily, their disguises are usually poor and can be identified as their armor may be several levels out of date. Also, the n00b disguise is based on a sad misunderstanding our common culture as their equipment may not reflect the job they are trying to portray.
Be careful not to confuse a n00b with a similar species known as the newb. Newbs can be distinguished from n00bs by their use of proper grammar and good manners.
A n00b can be identified by it's distinct call. This call can be heard from quite a distance as most n00bs seem to only communicate through /shout. If you listen carefully, you may be fortunate enough to spot a n00b.
Here are some examples of common n00b calls:
"PLZ can i hav sum goldz!!!" "Sum1 buy my sword!!!" "Ne girlz wanna ciber?!!"
Now, once you have identified a n00b, I must recommend that you stay as far away as possible. Unless you have a great deal of experience with n00bs, any interaction may be harmful to both your physical and mental well being.
If, however, you choose to interact with a n00b, this simple translation guide may help you. Here is a look at a simple conversation with a n00b including a n00b to english translation.
You>> Hello there. How are you?
N00b>> wow u r rich. Can I have goldz? (english: I notice that you have nice gear and wonder if you might be able to aid me in acquiring my own gear)
You>> No, no, good sir. I worked for my gold. You may not have it.
N00b>> but you gotz lotz!!! (english: I understand your feelings on the matter, but find it difficult to actually acquire my own goldz)
You>> I know, but I cannot just give you money.
N00b>> N00B!!! (english: apparently I am confused and think you may be a member of my species. Do you know Fred?)
You>> I apologize for the misunderstanding. I am not a n00b.
N00b>> STFU!!! (english: I am of a differing opinion and feel that it might be best if we agree to disagree)
As you can see from the above conversation, interspecies communication with a n00b can prove highly difficult.
In all interactions with a n00b, please take care to leave the n00b as you found it. Their social structure is quite fragile and any assistance you may provide may raise them to a new and dangerous level: the ferocious asshat.
Thank you for your time. Remember: have your n00bs spayed or neutered.
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:59 pm
I think the kids who use the words "n00b, noob, nOOb," or any other variation thereof are just plain boobs.
"Brilliant" (you spelled it right xd ) find! I especially like the translations provided within the article. It's like learning another language!. Maybe I can go out and apply this newfound knowledge when I get those text-talk pm's or on the public forums.
rofl
-Edited for spelling and grammar.
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:39 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:31 pm
Hmm. Very interesting. The social structure of a 'n00b' is very complex. They seem to have an incomplete feeling and longing for a certain item, but being denied on help for that item they become ferocious and they seem to 'attack' the source, in this case the literate Gaian that wouldn't donate the gold he/she worked so hard to get. I have come across a n00b that has used this call: 'g1v3s m3 g0ldz'. I will try to study his behavior and figure out what species he is.
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:31 am
I like this, it's actually very funny.
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:39 am
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:34 pm
This article may be enlightning for some but the truth is, it didn't provide me with any more knowledge than I already had. I learned all this from previous expierence of gaming over the years.
Gamers, like myself, also refer to "noobs" as: 1)People how have played the game many time before and still don't get the rules or how to play. 2)Attack the wrong or person, sometimes friendly fire. 3)Think the are superior to everyone else in the game and when they are defeated, not a single tear is shed.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:23 am
Now that is funny. X3 As well as interesting. Who knew that "n00bs" could be so complex...
...and hard to understand.
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:46 am
I think the translations were to different. XD
But other then that, bravo! To whoever made that. XD
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:45 pm
That would be a good way to put it.
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:09 pm
Thank you guys. Loads of support! 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:50 pm
Thats an awesome way to put it. xD
And, I didn't know you were in this Guild. : D Remember that n00b attack in the towns yesterday. XP
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 8:33 am
I personally think that is a very accurate description of a "n00b".
Nice one.
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