Welcome to Gaia! ::

I went to both my cousin's weddings, and they were lots of fun! Somebody else would be much better to give you the exact ideas of what is done and why, but I'll just tell you some funny or interesting bits about the ones that I saw.


I thought it was pretty funny because when the bride and groom stepped on a wine glass in one of my cousin's wedding, the thing they put it on so they could step on it wasn't strong enough for the groom, and it went everywhere, splashing a bit of wine, too. (Nobody was hurt, thus it was funny)


In both weddings I saw, the Chupah (spelling? sweatdrop ) was gorgeous! One was an outside wedding in a really Jewish neighborhood, so it already had flowers and vines growing on it, and it was amazing! It smelled great outside, too, as there were all these beautiful flowers everywhere. It was indescribably awesome. :3

I also liked it when they hoisted the bride/groom on chairs in the Horah, though I don't know if that's really traditional. It was really funny because the groom was having a great time, while the bride seemed to be terrified she would fall off, even though there were really strong guys holding up the chair. I remember her face amused me greatly. blaugh


That's all I can remember offhand, but like I said, somebody else would be a much better help, especially since most of my relatives are older and were married before I was born/old enough to remember- sorry. sweatdrop

This is getting harder for me to find:

Courtship!

What is the philosophy on a religious courtship in Judaism? How long do they usually last?

I need help, apparently they just can answer these questions on Aish or Jewish Literacy... xp

Oh my gosh, thank you! Courtship has been difficult for me, not to mention, there's a new chick in our group who is pretty confused, to be nice, about the whole thing, so that will come in handy.

Right now I'm making challah, and I didn't realize it took sooooo long! Haha, I'm about to put it in the oven...

Is there anything else about the ceremony that is extremely different then American style weddings?

The main thing I notice is that there is no "Do you? / I do" portion in a Jewish wedding. The man signifies that he 'does' by offering the ring and speaking the formula for consecration in Hebrew: "I consecrate you to myself with this object (usually a ring), according to the laws of Moses and Israel." The woman signifies her acceptance of this by taking the ring from him and putting it on her finger. She is silent, but her action, which can be seen clearly, signifies that she is willing to marry the man. This is done after the Sheva Brachot, the seven blessings, which are spoken or sung by the officiant (rabbi or cantor).

Also of especial importance is the yichud, which means aloneness, or unity, or union. Instead of darting out of the santuary and then standing while everyone else forms a line so they can shake your hand and talk to you, a Jewish couple leaves the sanctuary and immediately goes into a private room for a few minutes. This is the first time they'll be alone together, and the first time they touch one another. It is a very powerful situation, especially if you've been shomer negiah your whole life -- have never touched anyone of the opposite sex, other than your parent or siblings. To suddenly get to be alone and unchaperoned, and allowed to touch, even encouraged to do so, is so amazing. It's hard to even remember that there are other things in the room besides your bashert. Someone will have put a plate of food, some things to drink, maybe a cushion on which to lean. Ideally, the food will be finger foods, so that you can feed one another. It's a very, very tender moment. Usually, people will stand guard outside the yichud room, so that no one disturbs you in your first moments alone togethe. When you both feel ready, the bride will put on a hat or scarf to cover her hair for the first time, to signify that from now on, her physical beauty is only for her groom to enjoy. Then the two will go outside and join the feast in progress.

But most of what's different is not at the wedding, but before and after. Jewish law has never allowed us to shy away from our human sexuality, but neither has it allowed us to cheapen it. We're allowed, encouraged, beckoned to enjoy our spouse's body and our own. We keep it perfectly private. It's like the cup that we smash in the ceremony (signifying that only the bride and groom will ever be permitted to sip from one another's sweetness). Our sexuality is not like a beer that you hoist in the middle of a raucous party. It's more like the cup of sweet, steaming-hot cocoa that we sip quietly at home, while cuddled up under the blankets. Everyone knows that we must drink, but no one knows where, when, or how many marshmallows we take in it. It is sacred and holy and delicious -- and only for two to share.

I presented today and got a 98%. I got points off because I didn't have a map of Israel.

I hope you also won't think of intimacy in the same way. wink

There are different food traditions, depending on whether you're Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Teimani, Mizrachi... That is, where your Jewish ancestors came from, and the types of foods made in those places.

The only real requirement is that the food should be absolutely kosher. Even if the bride and groom don't keep kosher, one or both of them may have family members who do, and it's just good manners to make sure that they can eat what's being served. No one wants to go to a wedding and starve.

For your class, I'd just mention that if there's meat served at the wedding dinner, the wedding cake will be parve (pronounced parv or par-VEH), which means that there are neither meat nor dairy products or byproducts in the cake. This is because one of the laws of kashrut is the strict separation of meat from dairy. Those who keep to the laws of kashrut won't even cook or serve meat foods on dairy cookware/dishes, nor dairy foods on meat cookware/dishes.