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 Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:05 pm
Alrighty, with two days of creative inspiration I wrote down some drabbles & drabblets for the Dresden Files.
The great Beta was unavalible and I am greedy for feedback so I decided to post anyway and hope I caught everything.
Disclamer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. If I ever do the first thing you'll notice is the books will become The Dresden Bob Files. Until then, Harry, Bob, Ebenezar and everyone else belong to Jim Butcher. He is God. All hail great bearded one. And Frost the Guard Dog.
Warnings for drabble(et) series 1: fluff, marshmellow peeps, not for people overly sensitive about thier religion, Bob being Bob (I think he deserves his own warning label. ^^)
Wizarding 101
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:06 pm
Title: Wizarding 101
Rating: PG
Summary: just some pointless Ebenezar/Hoss fluff. Not like that! …even I wouldn’t go that far.
---
‘Write it down.’ I snort and glare at the notebook infront of me. ‘Write it down.’
I want to be angry, I really do, but it’s all simmered away. Evaporated under the warm Tennesse sun.
A grudging moment later I pick up the pencil and flip the notebook open to the first page and start writing.
---
When I look back up it’s getting close to dark, and when I stand up my knees crack in ways that a guy as young as me shouldn’t be hearing. After steadying myself on the tree I had been leaning against I decided I might as well venture into the land of the walking now so I didn’t miss dinner. I tucked the black spiral in my belt and walked towards the house.
---
“Thank you.”
Ebenezer just smiled and continued eating. “Welcome Hoss.” For some reason that endeared the old man to me more than any other possible reaction. I smirked grudgingly. It was a good idea. Writing down all the little things a young wizard tends to forget, little tiny details that slip your mind.
I grinned and laughed.
Ebenezer raised his eyebrows as I tossed the notebook on the table and dug in my pocket for the Swiss army knife he’d given me.
The old man laughed when I displayed the results a few moments later.
I grinned.
Scratched into the cardboard cover, the white scratches showing up in stark contrast to the black cover, was clumsily etched : Wizarding 101.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:08 pm
Title: Intelligent Design
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Wizarding 101-verse, Bob POV
[146]
“Dammit!”
I sighed. The kid was bright, I’ll give him that. Instead of consistent intelligence though he spewed it like faulty wiring; in spurts that looked pretty but usually got somebody hurt, and when you finally sorted everything out it was really just the result of fundamental stupidity.
Harry Dresden, slayer of vampire, godson of Fae, wiped molten marshmallow off of his face. After most of the mess was gone, eaten actually, Harry took down the black battered spiral notebook sitting next to my skull. It’s the oldest notebook in the lab. Scratched acrossed the cover so that white shows through is Wizarding 101. He adds an entry in that cramped, spidery writing of his (he still refuses to learn some proper calligraphy):
Thine marshmallow peeps should not be placed upon thine burner and forgotten lest they explode, and thoust shall be covered in sticky goo.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:10 pm
Title: God, Peeps, and Potions
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Why Harry marks his potions so carefully, has an aversion to marshmallow peeps, and wherein Bob puts _notions_ into Harry’s head. Bob POV first then Harry's.
A/N: Laura's not in the books, I picked a name at random.
[540]
Harry is always bitching that his life is a low budget movie, really it’s a camcorder documentary at best, and is continually trying to figure out what the title is.
“Revenge of the Peeps.”
“That’s not helpful Bob!”
I rolled my eyes. “You know as well as I do that you’ll just have to wait for it to wear off.”
“Laura’s going to be here in ten minutes!”
I suggested an entirely reasonable course of action that would have resulted in boob-viewing pleasure for us all, but Harry nixed it as part of what I can only conclude is a crusade not to get laid this century.
“Come on Harry! They go for the god act all the time! Look at Zeus, and that was only the stuff the mortals found out about! Hell, look at Mary, now that girl had some nice tits.”
I assumed Harry’s eyes bugged out, it was a little hard to tell with the invisibility and all, but he had that squeaky-castrated sound he gets when he’s surprised so I think I can assume. “Mary? As in Bethleham and the Cross Mary?”
“Ye-ah.”
Stunned silence reigned for a moment, no doubt he was staring into space like a complete rube. “Nu-uh. No way Bob. You are not going to convince me that some invisible wizard knocked up Mary.”
I rolled my eyelights. “You think it’s the first time a wizard with a date got his potions crossed? OF course I didn’t have your peach-fuzz problem, there was this tonic for-“
“Bob.” Harry’s voice was completely deadpan. “Shut up.”
“ ‘Course I told her about the possibilities of inherited magik but she just would listen-”
***
I almost laughed. Bob had some stories, but this was ridiculous. He was an air-spirit, one of intellect, he couldn’t have even touched Mary.
That pesky part of my brain that reminds me off all sorts of inconvenient, and usually disturbing things, prods the conscious half of my brain. Couldn’t he? Bob never had trouble solidifying enough to hold a pen...or throw a potion bottle. But there were anatomical problems. Just because , and I couldn’t believe I was actually contemplating this, you could apply pressure to certain areas didn’t mean you could procreate. My mind gave a sigh of relief. Much to close there. Yet again however, that damn brain of mine decides to ruin perfectly friggin’ blissful ignorance with intelligence. He’s a cousin of Fae though, and more than a few discorperated Fae have made their presence known through the rather unpleasant means of half-breed off-spring.
That meant he probably could...
Bob...Bob was the father of...My brain ground to a squealing halt, FX sounds and all. There were things that human minds just weren’t equipped to handle…no matter how realistic-
No. Not going. there. So. Not going there.
“Bob I’m serious. Shut up.”
“Sheesh boss, have it your way. I still say you oughtta-”
I tuned Bob out and concentrated on scrapping dried yellow sugar off of a masking-tape label, making a mental note to mark my potions in marker next time. Big, bold, black marker. Permanent Marker. I sighed. My dating life was never stellar, but being thwarted by a marshmallow peep was an all time low.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:13 pm
Title: Belief
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Because Harry just can’t let go of a certain _notion_...
A/N: ...and the Author just doesn't know when to let. it. go.
[521]
Harry stopped messing with Wrigley Field and set his elbows on the small portion of the table not occupied by Little Chicago, as he -so- creatively dubbed it.
“Bob.”
“Concentrating.”
“Bob.” More insistent this time.
I clicked my teeth and abandoned the ley lines I’d been checking. “This better involve me getting out.”
For once he ignored the snipe and continued in a far-off voice. “What you said a while ago, about Mary. How could that have worked? I mean He claims Him and everything, Micheal’s sword and the Shroud work…”
I roll my eyelights. Not only does he work me like a slave-driver for four strait months, seriously it’s unbearable, worse than that whole cure-for-Vampirism debacle.* He’s always coming up with the most inanely idiotic questions. I know I’m a genius and the holder of damn-near anything you could possibly want to know about magik, but that doesn’t mean I should have to give Boy-Wonder the run-down of the most simplistic and fundamental concepts of the craft every time he gets a hair-brained idea into that stagnant goo he calls a mind. “Why does your pentacle work?”
The look on Harry’s face is one of the things that make him a poster-child for barbarous ignoramus. “Huh?”
“Pentacle. Pretty lights! See the preeety light?”
I silently curse McCoy, I’m immortal not suicidal, for teaching him Chinese football as yet another matchbook bounces off my skull.
“What does that have to do with it?” I’m the one being pelted with cheap matchboxes and he sounds irritated. I get no respect. Bloody Mortals.
“The pentacle works because you believe in it. Mary didn’t want her kid to be some devil-spawn witch, you know it wasn’t as if people wanted to be wizards. Even now when some di’kut advertises in the phone book-”
“Bob.”
“Testy. Testy. I was making a point. You know you’ll never get anywhere being that impatient.” Harry glared at me and n the interests of self-preservation I decided to skip the lecture and get to the point, mostly. Sometimes I think he forgets besides his pathetic a** I have no company. “Fine. Don’t listen to little ol’ me. I’m only a hundred times older than you and the store of huge amounts of wizarding knowledge.”
“Yes Bob, get on with it.”
No. Respect. “People are great at ignoring what’s in front of their faces.” Brilliant lab-assistants for one. “They’d rather believe in gods than magik. So a women convinces herself than her son was begat by a god, teaches her son that,” I wasn’t even going to get started on Joseph. There are some men that just _scream_ to the world ignorant. hubby. “They both believe that it’s true so much that it becomes the truth.” If I had shoulders I would have shrugged. “Gods are like that. Just excess magik shaped by belief.”
“Oh.” Yet another dazed facial expression. I need to get pictures someday.
“Now if you want to here something good there’s this-”
“No sex gods Bob.”
“But Harrrry.”
“No.”
*Which I still say might have gotten forward more with a bit of the black but nooo. Hmpf.
---
Reviews? Pwease? *puppy eyes*
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:08 am
@Wizarding 101
Hah! That's great. biggrin Oh God... do you really think someone would go that far? Actually... I've seen worse. Heck, I've read worse. ><; But I like the drabble. biggrin
@ God, Peeps, and Potions
Oh LOL! I LOVE IT! Hah, that was just GREAT. I can so imagine Bob saying something like that to poor, gullible, Harry. ... He was joking, riiiight? sweatdrop
@ Intelligent Design
Heheheh.
@ Belief
Dude. I Love That. So Very Much. Amusing, AND interesting. biggrin
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:35 pm
Sepik @Wizarding 101
Hah! That's great. biggrin Oh God... do you really think someone would go that far? Actually... I've seen worse. Heck, I've read worse. ><; But I like the drabble. biggrin
@ God, Peeps, and Potions
Oh LOL! I LOVE IT! Hah, that was just GREAT. I can so imagine Bob saying something like that to poor, gullible, Harry. ... He was joking, riiiight? sweatdrop
@ Intelligent Design
Heheheh.
@ Belief
Dude. I Love That. So Very Much. Amusing, AND interesting. biggrin
-^_^ *feels the love* Sure, he was just joking...*waggles eyebrows conspiritoraly*, maybe.
-^^
-Thankee. I wasn't quite sure about that one as it was a little heavy in the thamauturgy explanation but I'm glad somebody liked the combination. ^.^
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