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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:15 pm
I find it very annoying that a female can't talk to a male until they are going to get married. its extremely annoying!!!
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:53 am
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:29 am
It's reasonable... If you talk to the other gender it can cause to passing thoughts of sin...
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:31 am
The thought is father to the word; the word is father to the mindset; the mindset is father to the deed.
That said, my hashkafa (community interpretation of a point of Jewish law) is that talking in public is perfectly fine. You should be able to ask a stranger or friend what time it is, how long until the next bus comes, borrow a pencil, "excuse me, sir, you've dropped something," directions to the nearest post office or wherever, where one can get a kosher meal, or other things for practical, necessary purposes, regardless of their gender. Also, if I see a group of nine men, looking consternated, I don't have a problem walking up and saying, "Pardon me, are you looking for a tenth for a minyan? A relative of mine is nearby. I could fetch him." Or, "Pardon me, but I'm travelling alone, and I'm a little nervous. I won't ask to sit right by you, but if it wouldn't be too much trouble, will you glance my way once in a while and make sure I'm not kidnapped? I'd rather trust my fellow Jews, because we look out for one another." That has served me well many times, and I've also been the stranger that a man asked to look after his daughter in an airport when he had to use the restroom.
I also don't have a problem discussing the weather, or finding out if there's a community holiday celebration, or where he got that sharp-looking suit/hat/tooled-leather siddur (prayer book) because I'd love to get one like it for my bashert. Being social isn't a problem or an issue for me.
The only real problem comes when the conversation turns personal, or if there aren't sufficient other people around to act as tacit 'chaperones' and to make sure that we're not truly alone. I'm not fond of riding in an elevator alone with a man unless there's a security camera. I've been known to get out on the wrong floor and wait for the next lift to come by.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:22 am
Of course you can talk to them. You always need to be polite to men. But you shouldn't exactly start a conversation with them.
(mellella hasnt been such a good girl sweatdrop xd )
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:04 pm
i go to a private girls school, and am not allowed to talk to boys. my parents, however, allow me to talk to them here on gaia, or on instant messenger.
i understand why we can't; one thing leads to another. sure, there are those who are mature enough to not do anything, but the vast majority can't control themselves. because, in most cases, talking leads to touching, touching leads to kissing, and kissing leads to sex.
so unless you're old enough and mature enough to be having romantic relationships with boys, i suggest you keep away from them. and the same for boys too.
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:56 pm
err....What? Who said you can't talk to guys at all? I don't mean to be rude, but I have 2 really good guy friends, one of which I can talk to about pretty much anything. We both know the other isn't interested in a romantic sense, and therefore get to enjoy each other's company, personality, etc. and have some great conversations. This does not mean flirting, or just being idiotic, but there's absolutely no reason a female can't talk to a male. If I only had female friends, I'd probably go insane. Even as a female, I realize a lot of girls are annoying, stupidy, whiny, and obsessed with useless gossip and shopping. xp
However, that being said, there is a difference between having a nice conversation, or even getting to know the person more, and flirting with them or having much more....sexual intentions. There's a huge difference between a clean conversation and a horribly disgusting one full of innuendos and like.
But if you can't talk to males before you're married, how on earth are you supposed to know them to marry them in the first place? That just seems extremely odd to me...
Anyway, just my $0.02; it's probably not the right or official definition or idea in Judaism. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:24 pm
Almost all of my best friends are guys. I don't get along with most girls, so if I was this strict, I'd die. x_X
Plus, in my line of work, women are the minority and the men are of a certain personality type that lends itself to an execess of testosterone-induced crudeness and stupidity.. Which doesn't invite a lot of polite conversation, but rather a lot of swearing and innuendo over poker games and Soul Calibur 2. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:48 pm
Divash The thought is father to the word; the word is father to the mindset; the mindset is father to the deed. That said, my hashkafa (community interpretation of a point of Jewish law) is that talking in public is perfectly fine. You should be able to ask a stranger or friend what time it is, how long until the next bus comes, borrow a pencil, "excuse me, sir, you've dropped something," directions to the nearest post office or wherever, where one can get a kosher meal, or other things for practical, necessary purposes, regardless of their gender. Also, if I see a group of nine men, looking consternated, I don't have a problem walking up and saying, "Pardon me, are you looking for a tenth for a minyan? A relative of mine is nearby. I could fetch him." Or, "Pardon me, but I'm travelling alone, and I'm a little nervous. I won't ask to sit right by you, but if it wouldn't be too much trouble, will you glance my way once in a while and make sure I'm not kidnapped? I'd rather trust my fellow Jews, because we look out for one another." That has served me well many times, and I've also been the stranger that a man asked to look after his daughter in an airport when he had to use the restroom. I also don't have a problem discussing the weather, or finding out if there's a community holiday celebration, or where he got that sharp-looking suit/hat/tooled-leather siddur (prayer book) because I'd love to get one like it for my bashert. Being social isn't a problem or an issue for me. The only real problem comes when the conversation turns personal, or if there aren't sufficient other people around to act as tacit 'chaperones' and to make sure that we're not truly alone. I'm not fond of riding in an elevator alone with a man unless there's a security camera. I've been known to get out on the wrong floor and wait for the next lift to come by. I agree, but I don't think you should mingle with the opposite gender confused
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:50 pm
...Then why do you find it unfair? sweatdrop
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 10:21 am
I have to say that I was raised not to talk to girls. Thus, when I do talk to other girls ( even if those would be my cousins), I'd kind of make fool of myself... sweatdrop
Anyway, I don't think I should talk with girls. That's my way of life.
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