[PRP] A Voice Upon the Wind (Sukari & Crousader)

[Kyaishi]

 

[Kyaishi]

A heavy sigh befell her petite ebony muzzle as the winged mare ambled boredly across the snow-covered hillsides, cold cerulean hues fixed dully on a steady point in the distance. Her idle wanderings failed to amuse her, as they always had, but there was a more profound sadness about her today than there had been for quite some time.

How long had it been since she'd last seen another of her kind? Days? Weeks? Months, perhaps? While Sukari would have liked to deny that the loneliness had any effect on her whatsoever, the truth was that it was taking its emotional toll. Even she, the 'ice queen' of mares craved social interaction at times, and the lack thereof had had an unexpected consequence for her.

Half-lidded azure orbs narrowed in irritation as she let her thoughts drift, snorting loudly as she reminded herself that she did not need anyone. Friendships and love were a farce- there was always some sort of ulterior motive behind them, whether the participants admitted it or not.

As quickly as it had come, however, her irritability dissolved back into melancholy, and periwinkle irises dropped to stare at the frozen ground beneath her hooves. Although she may never admit the reason for such, Sukari would admit that she was unhappy- and she didn't expect that to change anytime soon. The burden of guilt was a heavy one that she had never shared, nor did she intend to.

Softly, a melody rose upon the wind, the notes timid at first, but gaining in strength as she found her confidence. The notes of a familiar song she'd known since she was a foal rose from her lips, joining the cool breeze that tangled her ebony and ivory mane.  

[Celeanor]

"I never knew you were a nightengale."

The words came unbidden from beneath Crousaders shinning helm the moment he touched ground from behind the thick cloud cover above the hillsides. He hadn't recognized Sukari from afar, and had initially thought the lone figure was a lost traveller. He was wrong, but it was too late to abort his landing and dissappear among the clouds.

Regretting his loose tongue, he steeled himself for the acid reply; having already felt the lash of this mares temper.

 

[Kyaishi]

Instantly, the notes were silenced, her face burning in embarassment as an uncharacteristic bout of silence followed the stallion's comment. She cursed herself for her ignorance- had she not been completely lost in her ridiculous musical interlude, she would have heard him coming. It was too late now, she supposed... at least he wasn't insulting her.

A nightengale? She wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult, but the intense desire to change the subject and hope that he'd forget what he'd heard kept her from gracing him with a response. No one but her younger brother had ever heard her sing, and she'd intended it to stay that way.

Still, she supposed his company was better than none at all, and the usual fit of defensive anger that would follow such a comment was strangely absent this time as she turned to face him. She did not smile, but a miniscule nod acknowledged his presence- a lonely Sukari was still Sukari, after all; she couldn't act glad to see him. He was a stallion she respected, though, and she would treat him as such.

"Brazen as always, Crousader." The amused tone of her voice belied none of her inner discomfort at being caught in the act of doing something so... blatantly feminine. "I haven't seen you in a while."  

[Celeanor]

The bright blue eyes shuttered briefly, more in embarrassment then arrogance. He hadn't meant to utter such a intimate greeting, especially to a mare, even one as... welll.. safe as Sukari. In her he needn't fear pursuit or pain, just an indifferent shrug.

Or so he had thought, odd the things everyday masks hid from common sight.

"I strive to please, Lady Sukari." He said sardonically, recovering a bit of his accustomed cyncism. "Indeed, and I haven't seen much of you m'lady." he started, flicking his wings lightly to show away a bothersome insect. "The lad's training has kept me pleasantly busy though, what of you?"

 

[Kyaishi]

A roll of her eyes accompanied the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, although nothing actually emerged- she had a reputation to uphold, after all.

A brief grimace contorted her features for a split second, although it was gone before he could interpret its meaning- or so she hoped. How was she to answer that, exactly? "Oh, just plotting to join a war against all of humankind- you know, the usual." It seemed that he was rather attached to his bonded two-legger as well, so telling him was out of the question.

A single lingering shadow of a doubt cast its tendrils onto her conscience- not for the first time, and most certainly not for the last. Was she really doing the right thing? Sure, humans had had a part in her misery, but it seemed the majority of soquili she'd met that had bonded with one were happy and oblivious to their cruelty. Did she really have a right to determine all their fates because of her experience?

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts as she resolved not to mention it, she spoke again, this time a bit more withdrawn- which was really nothing unusual for her. "Just wandering, I suppose. It is a relief to see a familiar face after so long in solitude."  

[Celeanor]

"Indeed, a drop of water in the desert then... you honor me Sukari." Crousader replied, his expression changing into one of pointed curiousity, he hadn't missed the sudden change of moods when that oh-so invisible twitch had turned what could have been a smile into a grimace. The mare was adept at hiding her expression, but Crousader had spent many long years evading the guiles of those who hid more then just an expression.

In fact, he had come to realize that true apathy was as hard to come by as true happiness and true hatred. Earth's creatures were a wealth of feeling and emotions that could change on the turn of a hoof. Blais had taught him that,and brought about a slow change in the white stallion.

Because of that change, he actually wanted to know what made this Earthen creature tick, and this mare was no exception.

"Why do you isolate yourself m'lady, if it bothers you?"

 

[Kyaishi]

Hesitancy and trepidation overcame her mask as she shifted uneasily at the inquiry, azure irises focusing on the dirt beneath her hooves. They were treading on dangerous ground, here- normally, getting anywhere near this subject was met with frigid anger and a cold indifference. Crousader, though, was someone she respected, and perhaps something close to trusted.

There was no easy way to answer this question- especially considering that Sukari didn't know the complete answer herself. She understood enough to know that part of it was a punishment, however; guilt was a powerful thing, when left alone to fester. Still, having already shared her story with someone she didn't know or trust very well, she wasn't about to divulge her secrets to another so quickly; it didn't appear as though he'd want to hear it, anyway.

She supposed, at the very least, she owed it to him not to lie outright, so she answered in the simplest way she could.

"Because it's what I deserve," she murmured uncomfortably, averting her gaze.  

[Celeanor]

Again, the words left his mouth without even a 'by your leave' from his brain.

"That's silly.. who are you to judge yourself so harshly? It is one thing to choose to live your life in solitude, likewise enjoying it... but quite another to punish yourself." Eventually his mind caught up with his voice, but he found that he wouldn't recind a single word.

In fact...

"That would be akin to suicide my lady; a waste of a life." He ended, maintaining what little eye contact he could. She was so like Blais... so ready to throw her own life away for something she probably hadn't any control over. But then, he really didn't know her situation...

Best to apologize then...

"My apologies if I pressume too much Lady Sukari, it just troubles me to see yet another soul bash themselves against the rocks of self hate." he meant Blais, but in a round about way, he also meant himself.



 

[Kyaishi]

"Really, now?" her eyes narrowed at his reprimand, the words coming unbidden from her mouth before she could stop them. "Did you murder the little brother that adored you in cold blood? What makes you think you have any right to judge what I do?"

As quickly as it had come, however, her anger faded, and her shoulders slumped slightly as her tirade came to an end. She cursed her lack of self-control; it seemed to be a repeating problem, lately. When had she become so emotionally unstable?

His apology struck a chord within the icy depths of the mare's heart- a sensation she knew all too well- guilt. He didn't need to apologize- she should be the one doing that.

"There is no need to ask forgiveness... the fault is my own. I am... unused to sharing my difficulties with others, much less accepting their advice or help."  

[Celeanor]

"Then I needn't remind you that we share very similar pasts my Lady, but you misunderstand me. The only ... creatures... that have a right to judge you in such a way are the great Spirits themseves. The rest of us are just petty." The last was said ruefully, an admission of guilt perhaps, as he was quite guilty of being a very harsh judge.

Inwardly, he felt his own rage building at the thought. Don't I have a reason to hate them? But he knew the answer deep in his soul before he could even answer himself mentally... no... he had no more reason to judge the entire female populace then Sukari did to judge him... or in this case.. herself in such a harsh light.

"I'm afraid most everyone is afraid of how others see them, and what advice they might recieve..." he said, carefully leaving the comment open to include himself, lest he offend her.



 

[Kyaishi]

She took a moment to consider this, closing her eyes in thought before offering a brief nod in return. "I suppose that's true... although I'm not sure I believe in any 'Great Spirits'." Another uncomfortable shift was made after this admission, although she didn't break eye contact again.

"Forgive my forwardness- you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable... but what is it that you judge yourself for?" She was intrigued by his claim to have a similar past, even after she confessed to her brother's murder... could it be that she actually wasn't completely alone in carrying her burden?  

[Celeanor]

As of yet, he hadn't even mentioned his past to Blais... though he had a feeling the young paint knew. Something about their first meeting when he was delerious with cold and blood poisoning tickled at the back of his mind. But that was neither here nor there... Sukari had asked a perfectly reasonable question.

But he wouldn't answer... not yet, the wounds were still too raw for that.

"Murder in clood blood is not unknown to me." Was all he could muster without reliving the painful memories. "Your pardon, but it is difficult to go into specifics... like you I am not ready to accept.. what has come before."

 

[Kyaishi]

Although there was no outward sign of sympathy from the rigid mare, a fractional softening of the icy azure hues gave away her understanding and remorse at having brought up an obviously sensitive subject. Sukari may have been cold and rude to most soquili, but she respected this stallion- perhaps even appreciated his company.

"Forgive me, Crousader... it was not my place to ask. Perhaps one day you will be willing to share your dark secrets with me- as I'm sure one day I will with you."

The burden of guilt and shame was a heavy and lonely one to carry, but Sukari had accepted it long ago as the consequence to her selfish actions. She had never anticipated that anyone else had been carrying the same weight upon their shoulders- that someone else knew all too well the pain that she had known all her life. Although she would never admit it... it was a bit of a relief to know that she was not alone.  

[Celeanor]

An ironic lift of his brow was the only response the white stallion gave her. Share his dark secrets? His cool facade almost fractured at the thought.

His past was not any real sort of vile secrets... more like old and bitter memories he had partially blocked from his mind. They came in bright images during sleep and delerium, then vanished again come the sun; leaving only a vestigial bitterness he carried the rest of the day.

No, his past was not so much a hidden one as a painful one his own mind was protecting him from as best it could. If he practiced what he preached he would just let the mists of time erase them completely... much like Blais was doing.


Still...

"Come now m'lady, I landed here because I thought I heard a night bird singing; shall we turn this conversation away from this dark and brooding road?" It came out a bit more forward then he had intended, but for once Crousader had chosen to live in the light of the sun, and should Sukari hinder him now, he would take his leave.