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killing me. Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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feuerkrieg

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 11:11 pm


i stand tall against this hell
as the grip of my blade weakens .
the inner demons come at me like an ocean swell
but i raise my sword and prepare to fight myself again.
my grip tightens as i remember this feeling.
i clash with the demons and begin the slaughter.
but i am one and they are many.
and i am torn to pieces,
and i feel pain.
then, as i open my eyes,
i look beside me.
and there you are, and i realize it was nothing more than i dream.
but as i look ahead of me,
there he stands, the source of my anger.
and as i lift my hand, i feel the weight of my blade.
then i see it was no dream, and i stand against him.
we fight, until he slips, and i pierce his evil heart.
then a scream from across the room, and i fall to the floor.
as blood gushes from my wrist, i see my mistake.
and i tell you i love you one last time.User Image
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:06 am


That was pretty good. Less 'I'm so bloody miserable' and more 'anger!!!'

Cool cool.

Spooky Wasabi Princess

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Angel Bruja

PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 6:12 am


I like it. It's dream like, but also I could picture it. Nice job.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:42 am


Very nice, I liek the darker essence of it, it's very much unique.

lordoflycans

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arya241

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 6:33 pm


i think its needs more of a ending
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2007 11:31 am


Good job! The middle seems to get a bit messy to me. (Like, there are just words. Not enough meaning.) But even with that, this sis still an amazing poem. Keep up the good work! ^_^

Corpse_Bride_131


bloodyandrea

PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 10:30 am


nice poem! i likee
PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:05 pm


wow!!! i love it! its great, u really showed the idea of wat we all go through. its great mrgreen i give it a 10/10

bloodyandrea


KaosAvatar

PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:54 pm


spooky_sez
That was pretty good. Less 'I'm so bloody miserable' and more 'anger!!!'

Cool cool.
eek
PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 3:33 pm


That is a very interesting poem, and I must say that I enjoyed reading it.

Haeros


ubi-chan-me

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:03 am


not bad....
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:19 am


I would have stretched out the middle where you wake up to the person you love. Other then that, I love it absolutely.

Asher_Scree


Elfgirl1

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:16 pm


its otay. . . .
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:14 pm


u confuse me

dante_reincarnation15


WeCanLiveLikeJackAndSally

PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 7:24 am


I think it's a very good poem. I love the darkness of it. good job.
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