Welcome to Gaia! ::

Consider the following situation:

You're at home, around ninish in the evening, watching TV, reading a book, or just relaxing in quiet contemplation. You see, or think you see, a sillouted figure outside. You hear the crunching of snow. The outdoor motion-sensitive lights go on. Your dog starts barking. A haggard figure starts shambling awkwardly towards your house. At first it seems huge, with a barrel chest and thick powerful arms, but this is just an impression created by the heavy winter coat, which is for some reason unzipped, along with the apparition's pants. He, for you see it is a man, a tall, gaunt, gangly sort of man, with a distant expression, strides up to your house in a nonshalant way, sitting on your lawn table, picking and eating icicles off of your holly bush, humming to himself. He spends several minutes staring into your side windows in idle contemplation. You come out of the window to confront this stranger, and advise him to get off your property. Looking a little nonplussed, as if surprised to discover that you have the power of speech, he nods, says something vague, and shambles off.

About a day later, around the falling of dusk, the same haunted profile meanders near your house, apparently without a care in the world. You call the police.


Guess who this creepy, juvenile deliquent pervert is?

Yup, it's yours truly.

I honestly don't know why, if the thought that strolling around at night, eating chunks of ice and snow and peering casually into peoples windows, coming up near their houses in my noctornal sourjourns, might not be a polite, legal, or psychologically healthy thing to do, I squashed it with some level of repression, denial, or willful ignorance. All I know is that I feel ashamed, shaken, and repulsed, and I got off really well with the minimum fee of a disorderly conduct. I'm not entirely sure what the legal actions I need to take for this entail, but I'm sure I can figure it out.

I wish I could say that this was the most shameful experience of my life, but honestly, I seem to have an easier time beating myself up over the little things. It wouldn't surprise me if I wind up deliberately forgetting this and doing it again, only to get arrested.

I want to chug some ipecac.

I still don't consciously know. The best explanation/reason I can come up with is that I was just in an absentminded wander mood, treating the houses like part of the scenery on my walk.

But why were your pants unzipped as well as your jacket? eek

Yeah, that partv was a bit, er, extra creepy.