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 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:40 pm
The sun was shining high in the sky, bringing cheerful rays to the world below. The snows were finally melting and new growth poked its way through the melting snow. It should have been the type of day to cheer anyone up. One of the first days of real sun out here! Who could be irritated on a day like this?
Normally, Donner was a perfectly calm and level-headed individual, the type of bull that can be depended upon in an emergency. Of course, normally, it was not Anlach. This time of year played havoc with everyone’s hormones. Donner was no exception to that rule. The velvet hanging off of his antlers didn’t help the matters at all either. Irritably, he rubbed his antlers against a convenient tree, trying to rub the clinging velvet off. It wasn’t that it was itchy or anything. It was simply that it… it didn’t look good.
Herne, to imagine him caring about his appearance! Donner knew he wasn’t the most attractive bull, with a rather plain brown coat, so he had long ago ceased to care about such things. Maybe this was just his way of attempting to distract others from the plainness of his pelt. Or, more likely, it was simply the influence of Anlach again. While they were traveling, Donner hadn’t taken much notice of the cows, except to make sure they were safe. But now… well, he was finally noticing how attractive a few of them were. Quite a few, actually. Aderyn, Prancer, Vixen… they were all very beautiful in their own way. And, of course, Sesilída. Donner had taken special notice of the white cow several times on their journey, both out of genuine interest and out of concern. He had never mentioned it to anyone. Blitzen would laugh and Rudolph wouldn't understand. It was simply frustrating.
And, of course, he couldn’t hold his unofficial position as leader without claiming at least one cow. That was important too. If he wasn’t the leader, who would be leader? Dasher? Donner snorted at the very idea before idly chewing on some of the velvet which had been scraped off. Dasher was a good Outrider, and would probably make a fine Captain one day, but he was not a good leader for an entire herd, as far as Donner was concerned.
That was only a side-thing though. The main thing was… well… Donner was a loving creature, even if he showed it in odd protective ways. Everyone needed at least one someone, right?
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:05 pm
Anlach concerned Sesilida little. Spring did concern her, however, because as Glosoli had explained to her they were snow-colored. When the snow melted they became vulnerable. Worried about being easily spotted by predators, slipping in the mud and falling, and being left alone by Glosoli when he went off to spend time with the herd's other cows, Sesilida did not like spring.
As usual she stood by herself with her head down, right where her brother had left her, waiting for his return. She mused on the nature of the season while she listened to the patter of melting water and enjoyed the weak warmth of the sun that filtered through the trees.
This time of year the herd went crazy. Most of the others had a strange, unpleasant scent about them, and they acted strange too. It wasn't like this when she was younger, was it? She tried to remember. Surely it wasn't. But everything was different now. Maybe being out in the wild away from captivity made them all smell bad. She curled her head back and sniffed at her fur. Did she smell bad? Oh she hoped not. That would probably be just one more thing that made her noticeable to predators. And it also would also be bothersome to the other reindeer, who were kind and took care of her. Her blindness made her enough of a hindrance; she did not need a bad odor to make it worse.
Fortunately she didn't smell anything bad on her, though it was possible that she might not be able to sense it because she was used to it. Of course... she had an idea that the others' scent had nothing to do with being away from captivity. It probably had more to do with Anlach. When that smell became stronger, that was when Glosoli went off to talk to other cows.
Whatever it was, she hoped it would stop soon. She poked around in the snow absently, looking for something to eat, more for something to do than because she was hungry. The scraping sound of antler on wood rang out nearby. She listened closely. It was a kind of game she liked to play with herself, trying to identify the reindeer by other sounds before he or she spoke.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:31 pm
The sound of antlers scraping against branches suddenly stopped as Donner lifted his head up high and sniffed the air. His ears twitched with interest as he recognized the Sesilida’s scent. It might have interested the white cow to know that Donner didn’t think she stank at all; if anything, she smelled rather… well… nice. Donner’s interest was piqued not only by the white cow’s scent, but also by the lack of her brother’s scent. That was… odd. They never stayed far apart for long, due to Sesilida’s disability. Still, it was Anlach… perhaps Glosoli had wandered off to court one of the cows? It was probably a good thing that he didn’t know of Glosoli’s interest in Blitzen.
Well, obviously it would not do to leave Sesilida by herself. There was no telling what sort of trouble might follow her in this strange land. For once, Donner was less worried about lera and more worried about other herla, those from other herds. What if some other herla tried to lure the blind Sesilida away? Now that the snow was melting, it would be easy to see her white coat against the greenery.
With this in the front of his mind---and everything else about Sesilida being a very attractive cow in the back of that same mind---Donner made his way towards the white cow, his bells jingling as a warning of his arrival.
“Hello, Sesilida.” He paused for a moment before adding, “It’s Donner.” Maybe she recognized his smell and maybe she didn’t. It was hard to tell. Anxiously, he scratched a hoof idly on the ground, searching for something else to say. “How are you?”
Brave leader he might be, but master of small-talk he was not.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 1:40 am
Donner's polite but clumsy greeting was a little amusing, considering that he was usually not the type to exhibit awkwardness. Sesilida smiled, turning her head toward him. "I'm doing well, thank you Donner." She supposed that he was stopping by as part of his duties as unofficial leader of the herd; he had always been very good about making sure everyone was safe. Even if that's all he was doing, company was nice.
Of course, she wasn't much good at small-talk either, so now her mind drew a blank. She wanted to ask if Donner had seen Glosoli lately, but she did not want to be rude and imply that she would have preferred to be talking to her brother so she discarded this question.
Eventually she sighed apologetically and resorted to asking, "And how are you?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:20 pm
Inwardly, Donner was grateful that Sesilida had thought of something else to say because his mind was drawing up a… a something. He couldn’t even remember what it was that your mind drew! All he knew was that he couldn’t think of anything to say to the gorgeous white cow. Alright, so his mind wasn’t completely blank. There was that annoying little voice in the back of his mind singing, ‘Pretty cow, pretty cow, preeeeetty cow!’ It had been doing this for some time, normally whenever Sesilida or Aderyn entered Donner’s line of sight. Or smell, for that matter. Oh, Herne, he hoped he didn’t stink…
“I’m fine.” Fairly well, anyway. Things would get stressful again once Anlach was over, he knew that, since there would probably be at least one more little calf running around here. Probably Dasher and Dancer’s. Which reminded him. Calves. Yeah, he probably ought to bring that up. But not yet. That would probably just freak her out.
“I’m glad to hear you’re doing well, Sesilida. I… I sometimes worry about you,” he admitted, each word enunciated slowly and carefully, as if it was dredged up from somewhere deep inside his chest. It was a good thing that Sesilida was blind, otherwise she would have seen how embarrassed the bull was by his own words.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:47 pm
She couldn't see how embarrassed he was, but the hesitation in his voice was enough to alert her to... something. Donner was certainly acting strangely.
Her head dipped down at his admission. It made sense that he would be worried about her, considering the circumstances, but she couldn't help feeling guilty at making everyone worried. Even by something out of her control. Squirming a little she said, "Oh... I'm all right... Glosoli looks after me." Well not right now but still. Her mouth twitched with a nervous smile and she pointed her eyes in Donner's general direction. "You don't have to worry."
It occurred to her then that she must seem ungrateful. He had come over to check on her and talk to her, and she was shrugging it off as if she would rather hang around by herself. She hurried to add, "Thank you, though," trying to sound as appreciative as she was. "I'm very lucky to have a herd that takes such good care of me."
Well now she felt bad. What if she had offended Donner? She wouldn't even be able to tell until he replied. Shifting her weight around, she half sighed, half laughed to herself. Most likely she was worried about nothing... yet she still worried.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 9:51 pm
Offended? Of course not! Donner wasn’t that easily offended… he had to have a thick skin in order to lead this herd, especially since the others tended to make fun of him so often. He was simply glad that Sesilida was talking to him. It was awfully nice not to immediately be mocked. “Glosoli is a good outrider. Once we get more settled, I wouldn’t be surprised if he became an Outrider Captain.”
“We’re---you know, speaking as the entire herd here---- very lucky to have you in the herd. Both of you, I mean. You and Glosoli.” His hoof pawed at the earth once more, exposing a bit of brown dirt beneath the melting snow. “Or at least I’m glad you’re both here.”
She couldn’t see him. Donner knew this, but he still was looking her in the eyes, hoping she could understand just how sincere he was being. He forced his hoof to stay still, but internal anxiety forced him to shift around, just slightly.
“Have you… umm… given any thought to…” his voice sort of trailed off as he re-considered his words. He didn’t want to sound like a complete Anlach-fueled idiot. “Not this year, you understand. Maybe next Anlach you would consider…” again, his words sort of trailed off into nothing.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:14 pm
Her instinct was to say something to refute the comment about how lucky the herd was to have her, though she wouldn't say anything against Glosoli. She suppressed this consciously. He was just being nice -- no need to get into a discussion about it.
Then the conversation took a sharp turn.
At least, she perceived it that way, since she had been nearly oblivious to the undercurrent that had been there the entire time. With an intake of breath she widened her eyes. Is that why he was here?! Her mind jammed and her body stiffened. No, no, calm down Sesilida, she told herself. He has been so polite, and this is so awkward for him.
She closed her eyes and her head started to sink back down as she breathed. Answer his question. Just answer it honestly. "Ahm... no, I hadn't given... much thought. To it."
Why not? she wondered. The only thought she had given it was about Glosoli, and Aderyn, and others. Never thinking that she would be considering it as an option for herself. Never for a moment thinking that Donner, of all bulls, would ask her! Why did he ask her? She knew she would not be a good mother. She knew she was an inconvenience for the entire herd. Why would anyone, especially the unofficial leader, want her in his harem? And, as of now, she would be the only cow in his harem, which made it especially odd. For now she was not even thinking about the general disturbed anxiety that she felt when she suddenly realized that she very well could join in Anlach if she so choosed.
"Donner..." she said, in a soft but uneasy voice, "Donner, I'm blind. Why would you...?" She rocked lightly back and forth and shook her head at her hooves. "I don't belong in anyone's harem."
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:34 pm
Donner winced physically at the slight stiffening of Sesilida’s limbs, but refused to simply back down. He had gotten this far. There was no turning back now. By this time tomorrow, he knew, everyone else in the herd would know. The laughter would be insufferable if he ran away from a blind cow. Besides, what if she ran after him? What if she got hurt while running after him? Anlach wasn’t the only reason he was here; he was also here simply because… well… Sesilida was very sweet and relaxing to talk to.
Usually. He couldn’t ignore the fact that, right now, he was more tightly-wound than he ever had been in his life. Well, maybe not his entire life. Still tightly-wound.
Much to his relief, she didn’t immediately lash out at him, verbally or otherwise.
“I don’t think you would be a horrible mother. You’re… you’re very sweet and kind and beautiful, whether you know it or not. One of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. But, more importantly, you’re… you’re you. A very kind-hearted and sweet cow who deserves much better that what she has, but never complains.” Donner wasn’t exactly sure what to say, so he said exactly what was on his mind. Damn. Dasher never had this sort of problem. He always knew just what to say to cows. So did Rannoch, for that matter.
As for the blindness… well, yes, that would be a problem. What if it was passed on to Sesilida’s children? That didn’t seem too likely. Glosoli wasn’t blind. As for taking care of any possible fawns, well, that was what the herd was for. They had their differences and their feuds and petty scuffles, but the herd always looked after each other. Sesilida might not be able to take care of a fawn by herself, but with everyone’s help, it was a distinct possibility in Donner’s oddly optimistic mind.
“If you don’t want to, I understand.” No, he didn’t understand. But, he could respect it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:09 am
The compliments raining down from Donner were like drips of water coming from a block of ice: the ice itself appeared cold and hard, but spring had melted it. The difference was that while ice melting in the spring was a routine thing, this was entirely unexpected. Being told she was beautiful didn't mean very much because she had no conception of visual beauty. But he thought she was sweet and kind. That did mean something.
Sesilida was not the type to make a spontaneous decision about anything, and this was no easy decision to make. Would it be too much, she wondered, if she were to ask him for time to think? She found herself wondering what other cows would do, but then she stopped this line of thought. This was hardly about how she would appear to the herd; it was about her.
"Thank you." For the compliments, for the kindness, for appearing to have some faith in her, however misguided, and for at least professing to understand. She couldn't bring herself to say any of this out loud. Timidly she raised her head again. "This is next Anlach you're talking about, right? Not... not right now."
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:17 am
The fact that these compliments were coming from Donner was unusual as well. While he often thought well of others in the privacy of his own thoughts, he rarely voiced them. At least not these types of compliments. He would dole out words such as, ‘Nice parry’ or ‘good work’, but this was far from ‘nice job, Sesilida’.
“Oh no! No, no, no! Not this Anlach. Maybe… maybe the next one? When we’re more settled in? Or the one after that?” Yes, he was perfectly prepared to wait. He wouldn’t like it, but he would wait if it made Sesilida feel better. He had waited a long time----for him, anyway--- to escape the humans with his herd. He could certainly wait for this. Maybe he was rushing things a bit, asking when the next Anlach was… well… the NEXT Anlach. Herne curse hormones. “I know it’s early but… I just really needed to say this before I got too scared…”
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:55 am
Scared? Him? Attraction certainly did strange things to a herla. It was very unusual to imagine Donner being scared. But here it was.
Now that the surprise was wearing off, she was beginning to think more practically. If he was sure about what he was asking then this might be a good thing. It was to her advantage, she supposed, to be claimed by someone with an important position; it would hurt his standing to have a disabled cow more than it would hurt hers, but since he didn't seem too worried about that, maybe it was not something that should worry her either.
Of course, what Aderyn had said to her about Anlach was also on her mind. Calves were a handful, bearing them was probably not much better, and dealing with the bulls was the worst. Well she did not exactly go out looking for this, so the problem with the bulls was already resolved. There was no one else in the herd likely to ask her. Though she had not supposed that Donner was likely to either, so who knew? If she allowed herself to be claimed then her situation would probably be more stable, and she wouldn't have to worry about the other bulls. Unless they decided to fight over her... Now why would they do that?
Then there was the simple fact that the herd was split nearly in half, male and female, and there were really not enough cows for some of them to dodge around Anlach, if they ever wanted their herd to grow. And there was the other simple fact that Donner was being very sweet. Maybe he was putting on an act because of the time of year, but she thought not. He admitted to being scared. That was not something that a bull trying to impress a cow would normally do.
After a long pause while her mind drifted in thought, she blinked back into the present and realized that she had been standing in silence. Oh right. He was sort of waiting for an answer wasn't he. Furrowing her brow and shifting her hooves around she searched for exactly what she wanted to say.
"I had never considered Anlach a possibility for me, so... I hope it isn't unreasonable that I'm hesitating." She had her gaze pointed vaguely to the side and a bit downward, as usual, having lost track of exactly where his head was while she was thinking and not wanting to try to 'look' at him without knowing his location. Still, when she smiled, she was smiling at him, even without it being actually directed at him. "But... I think... yes, I think next time... I could consider it."
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:31 pm
Maybe the lack of cows was another reason why Donner wanted to make his move early. If he claimed Sesilida early on, then he wouldn’t have to worry about it later. Well, at least until another bull tried to claim her for his own. That was a distinct possibility. Blind or not, Sesilida was still a beautiful cow. And kind, and sweet, and nice and… and nice.
Oh, and she smelled really good.
He waited patiently as Sesilida thought about it. It was ok, everything was fine. It was perfectly normal for a cow to think things through, right? It was a big decision. Hey! Her long pause was even a good thing! It proved that she actually was thinking about it, and thinking very carefully. For the thorough Donner, this was a good thing.
She would consider it. Donner beamed at the white cow, as if this was the absolute best answer he could have ever hoped for. It wasn’t a ‘yes’, but it certainly wasn’t a ‘no’ either. “I’m very happy to hear that, Sesilida,” he said honestly.
Sure, an outright ‘yes’ would have been better. But, all things considered, this tentative ‘maybe’ was good too.
“Which reminds me… you know Aderyn? And how she isn’t… well, wasn’t originally part of our herd?” The cow had left her original herd with her calf in tow, joining Artali Isjaki while the herd of misfits had been traveling. “She’s… very nice and I’ve been thinking that maybe the herd should welcome others from the other herds? What do you think of that idea? I value your judgment.”
Considering Donner’s rampant paranoia and xenophobia, this was a big step forward.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:27 am
There was some amount of relief when he changed the subject. She would have time to think about that later. She knew what she was leaning toward, but it would have felt wrong to her to make a decision so quickly. Discussions about the herd were a much more neutral zone, though inevitably she had to overcome some pleased embarrassment when she heard that he valued her judgment. Avoiding all the impulses to disagree with his trust in her, she gave this question due consideration, purposely thinking out loud this time.
"Strength is in numbers, so accepting those from other herds would probably not be a bad thing. Though it could potentially make things more unstable than they are since we haven't settled down very well yet." Thinking about Aderyn and Urd having to wander around on their own without a herd she added, "And... aside from that kind of thing... it's always nice to give a home to those in need."
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:31 am
Donner listened to Sesilida’s words carefully, weighing them in his mind. She was right, of course. Still, he couldn’t help but notice that she didn’t really answer the question. Maybe he didn’t really want an answer… what he really wanted was to hear her thoughts on the matter, hear how she felt about the idea. Maybe he was just hoping she would come up with something he hadn’t thought of already.
Ah, the stability. Of course… Anlach, addling his senses, sort of made him forget just how unstable the herd was. In fact, it had made him forget about everything else except for cows! How embarrassing… thank Herne for cows, and for more than one reason! They kept up their senses during Anlach, or at least enough of them to point out the obvious to hormone-controlled bulls.
“We’re barely settled ourselves,” he said out loud, more to remind himself than anything else. This was exactly why he wasn’t claiming a harem right now. Well, sort of… he was making his interest known, but that was different. As he spoke, he directed his gaze towards the forest, thinking of the other herds beyond those snowy trees. Sesilida couldn’t see his movements, but she could probably hear them and guess what he was looking at.
“Maybe it would be better if we remained closed then. But… perhaps watchful…” as if Donner could be anything else.
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