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 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:27 pm
Nostalgia paced back and forth in their temporary cave home. She had spent the morning and the daylight hours thinking about how she was going to tell him, and nothing ever came out right.
She looked over and gave a sad smile as she watched Jean sleeping, the trio of baskets laying nearby, knowing fully well they were safely protected.
Oh how she had given so much thought into their situation... but it had always, always ended with the same conclusion. And she knew what she must do.. for the sake of herself, Jean and for the foals.
But however was she going to tell him?
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:32 pm
Jean had bee having a very bad night. For some reason, it seemed almost as if everyone was out to get him. Shaking his head, he walked to the front of the cave opening, giving a toss of the mass of dark curls.
He wasnt happy anymore.. He was constricted, and he had foals, and his life was basically made up for him now. He'd be here forever, for the foals.
But his heart was longing to travel again, and he had the slightest feeling that NOs felt the same.
What were they going to do?
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:48 pm
Nos looked up, startled at Jean's sudden awakened state. It caught her off guard, and the words couldn't leave her mouth, she was so surprised.
Closing her mouth, she studied his appearance. He looked upset, and she worried he could sense her feelings and felt a pang of guilt. She didn't want to upset him, but then... she didn't want to make him miserable for the rest of his life either.
"Sleep well, Jean?" She asked, though she could already see the answer from the dark circles under his eyes.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:40 am
As much as he wanted to give some smart comment about the obvious state of which he was in, he was better than that, and this was Nostalgia! He couldn't ever say something to her that was mean and spiteful..
He may not be happy, but he still loved her dearly. He could be happy with her the rest of his life, it would take time for him to realize this was his life.
He studied her face and saw sadness there as well.
"I'm fine Nostalgia. Good as can be expected." He said, lowering his head, and squeezing his eyes closed.
He lifted his mighty head, and looked to teh baskets. There, that was what kept him here.. Those little children would need him, and they would surely need Nostalgia, though. He needed freedom, but he felt that it would never come..
Looking at NOstalgia, his heart dropped.
"Im sorry, ma amoure.."
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:03 pm
A silent battle seemed to be raging within her lover, and Nostalgia felt cold and helpless watching him fight it alone.
"What is it, Jean?" she asked quietly, approaching the larger stallion. "What are you feeling? I can see it in your eyes... that's why you're keeping them closed. Is there something you want to tell me?"
She lowered her own head and paused her approach. It was now or never.
"For... for if you tell me what you are feeling... then I will express my thoughts as well." Swallowing, she felt a lump in her throat that wouldn't go away. "I... I can't say that I'm very happy about my feelings at all... but I worry, Jean. I worry for you and for me. I worry for the little ones."
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:49 pm
HIs ears perked, and he looked at her in astonishment.
"You worry? Why ever would you worry about us? About our foals?
For the thought of worrying about teh foals worries me.."
He walked closer to her, and stared her in the eyes.
"I have said my peice, and now that I know you have something to say, I await your reply."
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:47 pm
She snorted softly, getting frustrated. He hadn't told her his feelings at all... he merely ignored her question and commented about what she had said.
"Jean, this just isn't going to work," she blurted out, her eyes unable to meet his. "This... I just can't."
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:52 pm
Her words stunned him, and stopped him in his tracks. His eyes were wide, as he stared at teh one who was supposed to love him.. Whom he was supposed to love.
"Nostalgia, what are you saying?" He asked, voice thick with his accent once again.
"Tell me you arent trying to get out of this... What of the foals.. What of us?"
He looked shocked, and maybe a little angry, that he could stick through it, and she could not.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:17 am
Trying to... get out of this?
Taking a deep breath, she stuck to her decision, and slowly nodded her head. "Yes, Jean... our relationship has been dead to me for some time now."
She winced, realizing she could have come up with a nicer way of putting it, but at least it had been said. She slowly turned around and made her way towards the baskets, pausing to give each of them a reassuring nuzzle, and the looked up, and towards him.
"It's been nothing more than distance keeping us apart, covered over by some soft romantic words. I can't do this anymore, Jean, I just can't. I don't even know what love is, much less allow myself to keep pretending to you. You don't want us going on with life living a lie, do you?"
A tear began to slide down her gentle face. She knew she was breaking his heart, and although she knew she didn't love him, it hurt her to see herself making such a sweet stallion upset.
"And don't you dare think I'm going to abandon these foals, Jean-Claude... I'm more responsible than that. I may be a heartbreaker and a heartless nag, but I love my children and I plan on sticking around for them."
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Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:53 pm
His Blue Sapphire orbs glowed with anger, and frustration. Not merely at her, that would be a mistake, but at the fact that if this was how love was, he just didnt need it anymore.
He didnt need foals so bad that he had to mate with someone who didnt love him.. And now the foals were going to be born to a broken home. Made, not out of loev as he thought, but desperation.
He stamped his foot, and paced. Shaking his black curled topped head, he looked at her.
"And you couldn't have said something before we had foals? This couldnt have been prevented with foals who now will grow up seperately, because as you well know, I will raise one, and you will, and the Two-legger with the third.. But none of them will be raised together, and they are broken..
If I'd known, the foals wouldnt be here right now.."
He said staring at her.
His heart was breaking, and this was the way of coping.. He needed to say his peace, as she had said hers. Her words were painful.. But his words were just as bad.
"I never said you were a heartless nag, but the children werent the first to be thought of here if you know what I mean."
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:05 pm
She flinched, and took a few steps back, allowing his words to absorb into her mind... a mind that had tried so hard to stay pleasant and calm, a mind that had worried for so long of upsetting and hurting the one she had loved.
Now it was no longer about making sure no one was hurt.
It was all about her.
"Why couldn't I have said anything? I never planned on having foals this early on!" she nearly screeched, the pitch of her voice going shrill, mixed between anger and surprise. "Do you think I PLANNED to get pregnant with your foals, Jean-Claude? We didn't exactly see things straight when we first met, if you recall correctly. Jumped into things a bit early, if you ask me."
Cursing under her breath, her wings outstretched themselves and she contemplated bolting, right then and there. Why put up with this mess when it was so easy to run away from it all?
"No..." she thought to herself, her eyes narrowing as she turned back towards her former lover, "You got yourself into this, and you'll get yourself out of it."
Staring him down, her lavender eyes that once adored him simply glared, and she snorted.
"I really don't see why you're having a big issue over this, Jean, since you seemed to be the love 'em and leave 'em type anyhow. It wasn't like you were really around through most of the pregnancy, so I don't understand how these foals could mean so much to you."
She knew her words were hurtful, and deep down, she knew he cared... somewhat. But that couldn't cover up nor make up for the loneliness and despair she had felt, wandering around countless nights, in search of the stallion who had wooed her with his words, impregnated her, and then left, without warning or notice.
"Neither one of us were prepared to be parents... neither one of us planned on it, so I'll be damned if you're going to put the blame on me!"
She felt the growl draw up from her throat, and her animalistic instict was taking over. She was mad as hell, and this stallion treating and lecturing her like a naughty filly wasn't going to make things better.
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:38 pm
Sapphire orbs glared back with an anger he had so seldom threw on anyone. Normally, he was the collected type, never showing emotion, but those words of hers had cut him to the bone, and he wasnt about to let them go unanswered.
He still wanted to be friends, the foals would need her.. But if her attitude didnt change about this whole thing, he wasnt going to come back, and one little colt or filly would never truly know the mother who had hurt him with words so badly that he didnt really ever want to see her again.
"And I'll be Damned if the blame will be put on me. It takes two to get someone pregnant, Mon moineau flittly petit." His Flitty little sparrow..
Shaking a head of black curls, he looked up with eyes of anger, and hatred of the moment and how it had ended.
Curling his lips back in anger, he spoke some french jibberish that he was sure she didnt know, and it only happened when he was truly angry.
"I will not take the blame for this, and if this is the way you feel about it.. That I shouldnt truly care for the foals, then maybe I;ll just leave, and forget about the foal inside one of those baskets. I'll take one, and leave, and you'll never see it again. Because I'll also be damned before someone tells me I shouldnt care about these foals.
You knew I was a wanderer, and it still happened, so if I left for a few days, and then came back, count your blessings. I dont EVER come back, and I came back every time."
Looking at her again, not sure if he meant anything he had just spoken, he spoke again.
"And I am the Love em and Leave em type. So apparently, Im sticking to that today."
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:50 pm
So this was how it was to end, then.
Moonlit nights filled with emotion and desires, full of hopes and of dreams, all ending with heartbreak and hatred.
Staring at him coldly, she thought over what he said, and knew enough of his native tongue to know what he said wasn't by any means complimentary. Deep inside, Nostalgia knew Jean-Claude would be a good father, that is, if he didn't wander away from the foal first. He had been able to show her compassion and care, as briefly as it was, and she knew, out in the wild, she wouldn't be able to care for three newborns on her own. She was tired of fighting, and his suggestion, although perhaps he didn't mean for it to actually be one, made more sense than she would have expected it to.
Glancing down, she gave the trio a loving look, and paused to admire and say a silent prayer for the three she had given birth to only weeks before.
Studying each one closely, an idea formed in her head as her lavender eyes fell on the darkest basket, the one that took after herself more than her former mate, and she knew what she was going to do. If he was going to threaten her and abandon the family, she would never let him forget her.
She moved to where she was behind the dark basket, and leaning down, nudged it towards her former lover with her nose, the chains on her back ankles scraping the rock floor on the way there.
Raising her head up, her face was now only inches away from his. She wanted to spit at him, she was so angry, but she resisted.
"Here." She said coldly, her eyes never leaving his. "This is your child to care after. Because I don't want a day to go by that you won't remember the mare you left... the mare you gave up on, the mare who's heart you never truly won over. May this be my last curse upon your wandering head... that you'll be forced to raise an offspring that takes after me, that looks like me, and perhaps even acts like me. For now, Jean-Claude, you will NEVER be able to erase me from your memories. I will always haunt your past, and it will be done through this foal."
She turned around swiftly, and returned back to the remaining baskets, which were whimpering and shaking with confusion. Standing in front of them, guard-like, she finally faced back towards the cave's entrance, to where Jean-Claude stood, with the morning sunrise only hours away. Had it been months ago, when she first met him, she would have sighed at the sight, he was so handsome, with his dark curls and dashing looks. But now all she saw was a heartless stallion... a heartless stallion who had mated to a heartless mare and now they were saddled with three offspring that were doomed to be forced to live in a world never meant for them.
"Be gone with you, this is my home now," she spat out, her mouth forming downwards, in an angry fashion. It broke what heart she had left to know he would be leaving with one of her foals, but she knew her curse would remain with him forever, and perhaps one day, they would meet again on better standings.
One day... maybe.
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:42 pm
He looked at her hurt, and shook his head.
"Do you honestly think that looking at one of my offspring will bring me pain? Though I must admit, it'll be a constant reminder of someones love I thought I'd won, and just found ot have truly been despised all this time.. It'll still be my foal, and I'll love it forever, maybe a little more since it looks like you."
He looked at the ground, the hurt sinking in and making him less angry, more hurt.
"And if you recall, one looks exactly as I do.. You will constantly be reminded of my presence.. Forever and a day. And does that bother you?"
He asked, stomping his feet, and looking out from the cave.
He shook his head, apparently she was angry, and she should be.. But to be angry with him for being angry was wrong, and he felt upset and useless.
"I'll leave." He said, knowing he could go to ANusha and his teepee mates.
"But the curse lies in your heart. Not mine, nor this foals."
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 3:35 pm
"Of course I believe it will, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." She snorted, her head still remaining high. "Just because you love them, Jean-Claude, doesn't mean you won't be hurt by their appearance. Try as you might to hide it, I know what will happen. Trust me... I've seen it happen to others in their pasts."
She glanced down at the tan basket as he spoke the comparison... yes, one did look exactly like him, and yes, they would be a constant reminder of the stallion she wanted out of her life. But those were things that could be easily fixed.
"They may, perhaps, look just like you in color and comparison, but they will be raised much differently, I assure you. Yes, a constant reminder and a heartache to bear, but that doesn't mean I won't love the child any less as I'm sure you won't with yours. But the reminder and the heartache will be there forever... just something I'll have to burden myself with for making... mistakes."
Her lavender eyes turned back towards him, one of her dark braids falling down on her face. "Yes... you will leave." she reiterated, her head lowering as her horn's glow burned brighter with her fury. "And may your curse be and live with you forever... I pity the next mare who falls for your charm and appearance, Jean-Claude, for your cursed head will bring them nothing but sorrow and lonliness. Now... get out."
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