I’m tired of being the freak
I’m tired of being the class doll
With a tan colored pen and crimson colored ink.
I’m sick of lying to myself
Sitting in my dark den crying myself to sleep
Waiting to have a dying chance
To be less of abomination
And more of a normal girl
My hand hurts from holding
A shard of a mirror that only sees the truth
The truth of what and
Who I am
An outcast
I’m sorry I’m not pretty
I’m sorry I’m not rich
I’m sorry I’m such a freak a monster
In their eyes
It makes me wish I could
Put a bullet through my head
Over dose on some meds
Hang my dreams and hopes
I’m tired of being a sin against the human race
I’m tired of blackening my eyes
Tired of getting that feeling that
I’m alone in a room full of faces
I’m tired of fighting with myself
So I can just hold on
If I erase myself from the world
I doubt anyone would notice
So I stand here before the looking glass
As a miserable monster
Seeing the reflection of someone else
Stronger
Prettier
Smarter
Someone people want to talk to
Someone who I always wished I could be
I am nothing more
Then a suicidal tragedy
Everyone will soon forget
If they want and love to see
People drowned in own tears
If they want and love to see
Their own kind
Asphyxiate on their own scream
Write a note
With sorrow as paper and blood as pen
Then I fear they shall get their entertainment
For my hope is out of reach
My heart is tainted
And replaced with a blacken pulse
My eyes a shallow grave of my ghost
While the pendulum swings
A never ending nightmare begins
As my soul breaks its chain
Leaving me in a deep slumber
Never to awaken
Never to disturbed again
