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 Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:51 pm
For years I sat and took the pain,
Just like I was trained to do.
Don't you think I was a little too young,
For what you put me through?
You didn't care about what would happen to me,
As long your suffering was 'healed'
You didn't think that after so long...
I would learn not to feel.
Like the child I was, I copied you,
And your destructive ways.
But a part of me grew up too fast...
Proven in my emotionless gaze.
And just like you, I lashed out to hurt,
Just to get my kicks..
But I bet you don't know the real story...
Behind these scars and nicks..
Soon it got out of control,
And inside I was numb.
All I felt was hatred and pain,
You just ignored what you had done.
Here I am, your child prodigy
Cruel and Hateful and Bleeding
And I know what you'll do about this monster inside
You b***h..
You'll just keep feeding
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:58 pm
 >> Only the blackest of heartsVery nice - a couple of the rhymes didn't flow as evenly, but otherwise - it was very good heart Can feel the purest of love <<
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:10 pm
heart Thank you.. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:09 pm
First off, I just wanted to say that I loved it. heart It reminds me of so many characters I write about.
There were two places where I felt the rhyming could have been better, maybe a spot or two where the wording could have been changed around, but otherwise it was very good.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:38 am
>> Only the blackest of heartsYeah - numb and done; feel and healed - although the latter happens to me a lot, technically - as poets, we have the right to throw grammar out the window, but I always add the "ed" ending anyway. Can feel the purest of love <<
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