| Do you think Lydian Wells is a Mary-Sue? |
| Yes |
|
7% |
[ 1 ] |
| No |
|
15% |
[ 2 ] |
| Kind of |
|
23% |
[ 3 ] |
| Undecided |
|
53% |
[ 7 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:49 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:59 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:07 pm
Really? You don't think it's too cliche, do you? sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:19 pm
Tone down your descriptions a little, but keep the story intact. Your character really isn't a Mary-Sue, so keep going and good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:46 pm
I like it, you've got a great start.
Good luck!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:48 pm
The only thing I didn't like was that Harry said he was a wizard, else it was fine.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:47 pm
I agree with chibi-chan. Harry wouldn't just tell someone he just met that he was a wizard... That's supposed to be a secret.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:54 pm
Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:10 pm
It was okay, to unrealistic. Would Harry really just say that to someone he didn't know? The writing style is good though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:16 pm
Charlie_Chaplin Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar. I still don't think that is reason enough. But as a one chapter thing it is cute.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:01 pm
It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two).
I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:46 pm
Empress_Kat It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two). I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work...
sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:56 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:55 am
*squeals at your siggy* Daddy!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:02 am
 I like the fic and all. But i agree with someone before me. Tone down your discriptions a little. They make the fic a bit dramatic to some people. I can''t wait to read the next part of your fic. I hope its as good as the first part. ^^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
