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 Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:21 pm
A panic, a fear.
I laugh, I smile.
One would never know
I'm harboring a secret.
The pain comes in.
I permit no release.
One lapse would cause the dam to break
'Til it's emitted in crushing waves.
"Never her.
There's no need to be worried
Where she's concerned.
After all, she's... no."
"It would never happen."
Things are quiet today.
Not a whisper in the halls.
Pitted eyes, frightened looks.
Nothing but the sigh of sheer black swish.
Questions haunt their minds.
Who else?
Would I?
Why?
```Why?
``````Why?
How could someone so alive,
So surrounded by love and light
Feel so, so...
Alone?
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:44 pm
You worked the free style very well within this piece. The flow was good for me and I could keep rhythme. The beginning got me hooked, and the presentation of the word forms and the certain dialect was great. all-around nice piece.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:35 pm
heart Very nicely done. Bravo.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:10 pm
I thought it was well written, the beginning could use just a bit of work though.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:17 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 11:10 am
I feel this poem is aimed at people like me who(a good portion of them) underestimate people such as yourself. You expressed yourself very nicely.
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Reply
