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Poem, opinions please

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Meth Labs
Captain

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:15 pm


This is a short piece of poetry I wrote, please could you comment.


The fire that lives inside the gem,
Cause of war, desire of men,
Humankind has sought it long,
To golden mines the people throng.

Flaming arrows fill the sky,
Castles fall, many die,
Till regal prince and rich clad lord,
Each has themselves a golden hoard.
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:21 pm


It's good, I especially like the last bit.

XxMystic StarlightxX
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Wolfie Kid
Vice Captain

Fuzzy Flatterer

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:03 am


It flows quite nicely and the rhymes come at the right times. Lovely. biggrin
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:53 pm


Very nice rhythem ^^ Yet...it needs to be longer. Keep writing!

- Xenn be Twisted -
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ladyjewell

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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 2:41 pm


pretty good use of rhyme and meter.
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Fantasy Stories, Poetry and Art

 
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