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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:08 pm
Hello everyone. I am new to the guild --waves--. My name is Christina and I am fifteen years old smile . I have had a thing for writing almost my entire life. My friends tend to call me a "Grammar Nazi", though I would have to disagree because my spelling is not always perfect. But, anyways, here is some of my poetry.
When The Sky Falls There's something about the way the light hits her, The way the shadows fall around her feet. Shadows of depression, confusion, and anxiety Dissipate in quiet evanescence. Her presence, her voice, and her wisdom Heal the wounds of betrayal and self-hatred. She satisfies, soothes, and saves the suicidal; And she's a lost little girl's salvation when the sky falls.
The Spider How much do you know? How much do you care? How much will you ask? And how much will I share? Will I tell you the truth? Or twist you little lies? Will I look into your face? And stare into your eyes And serenade you With a symphony of honest lies? Will I catch you in the sticky silk Of an artistic web I weave? A web of things you know, aren’t true. For it is a web woven by those who deceive. Shall I deny how I feel for you. Shall I wrap you in the strands? The threads, The rope? Will it burn your skin? Rape your virgin softness, and cause you to redden? Do you hear the cracking of your spine When you’re hanging by your neck From a web of tangled truths? As you sway Back and forth Back and forth From a web of honest lies.
What Lies Beneath Body full; eyes empty Lifeless soul in raging flesh. Secret life in secret places Secret hate for all she faces.
But what lies beneath To make the will So savagely consumed? And what lies behind The distant stare That tries to believe And convince it doesn't care? What lies beyond The flesh and bones? What lies of man Has it been told? What lies beneath To make the whole So sick inside So sick of life?
Body full; eyes empty Lifeless soul in raging flesh. Secret death in secret places Secret dread of all she faces.
I'll Be Seeing You Life revolves around you Like hands of a clock, Can’t slow down. Can’t speed up. Can’t stop.
During the night I lie awake, And warm wet tears make rivers down my face. my only solace is thinking of you, worshipping you, and counting the days til I’ll be seeing you.
It hurts the most When I’m not in your presence Everything pales when you’re gone And it’s cold in your absence. My only comfort Is dreaming of you, Speaking of you, And counting the hours Til I’ll be seeing you.
I love your melodic laughter, And the sound of your voice It’s quiet when you’re gone. Silence. Darkness. Sadness. My only relief Is hearing you, Listening to you, And counting the minutes Til I’ll be seeing you.
I miss your eyes, And the gentle curve of your hips, The blonde strands of your hair, And the softness of your lips. My only comfort Is photograhing you, Admiring the beauty of you, And counting the seconds Til I’ll be seeing you.
When time takes me And tears you from my life And you’re away indefinitely, My only solace Will be remembering you, Thinking of you, Worshipping you, Dreaming of you, Speaking of you, Admiring the beauty of you, Wanting you, Needing you, Loving you, And knowing that the day we part, The day that I lose you, Will not be the last day I’ll be seeing you.
Constructive critisism is very much appreciated. mrgreen
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:31 pm
I read a few, and I really like 'em so far. Great diction. I'll try and read them all more intently to give ya' some criticism, but just know that I'm not exactly a good poet either sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:53 pm
One Poet I read a few, and I really like 'em so far. Great diction. I'll try and read them all more intently to give ya' some criticism, but just know that I'm not exactly a good poet either sweatdrop Thanks mrgreen . Haha, don't worry, obviously I am not that great either wink . I have never been much of a poet; I am more of the journalist type of writer more than anything. I occasionally write short stories as well. But, as I said, I am not that great domokun . Ah, constructive critisism is always appreciated xd .
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:01 pm
Oh but you are great my friend, do not doubt that. If you want to see some un-great things haha, look for some of my works. I think mine were moved to the Bookshelf though.
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:27 pm
Are you kidding me? I just now read this so called "un-great" work you speak of, and was blown away completely. Your descriptions were beyond what I would normally consider outstanding, and your poems were lovely. I especially love Poem #2 I read. You really are a wonderful writer, so do not say otherwise, or I will have to attack you with a spork domokun (kidding, of course wink ).
And thank you, by the way smile . I am glad you ejoyed them smile .
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:15 am
Haha, my friend, you suffer what I suffer from haha. It's the hardest thing to see your own work and find it appealing wink
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:48 am
Aye, it really is. Especially when reading all the other brilliant pieces around, it makes it even more of a challenge wink .
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:50 am
Indeed. I just wrote a story for a class, but I actually think it's kinda interesting. I'm contemplating posting it, but it's really long and kinda dumb. So I'm not too sure.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 12:10 pm
You should xd . What is the essay about?
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:36 pm
It's about a boy who meets himself in a dream, and he solves his problems by talking to himself.
Screw it haha, I think I'ma post it up ^^
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:38 pm
Yatta xD! I cannot wait to read it xd .
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:40 pm
It's not that great. And I'll be honest, it's one of my worst works. But it's up in the Story Subforum right now. Under "One Poet's Dream".
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:43 pm
Well, you also said that your poetry wasn't good wink . So... I think I will go judge for myself xd .
--sneaks away to read it--
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 1:44 pm
Haha, very well, please be sure to let me know what you think of it ^^
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:04 pm
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