spektro-vision
the newly elected grand vizier
horatio the blibbering
was proving to be quite ineffective in matters of state
preferring instead
to twang out
ear splitting melodies
on a seventeen stringed lute
given to him as a gift
by a one eyed man
who he inadvertently saved from a rampaging dinosaur
while holidaying in paris.
he didn’t like him
he thought his socks clashed with his eyes
the lute was sent a week later
by anonymous parcel post
he did not know the lute was from the one eyed man
or he would have never opened it
instead throwing it out
and having a very unpleasant day
until he forgot about it
but he didn’t know,
so he continued to play,
plucking out the most painful auditories
seventeen strings could bring.


On The Affaire of Mr Pellinore's Daemons
Ah! Give no thought to Pellinore,
Dost plague men's minds forevermore!
At stroke of third midnight, their promise fulfilled!
The beautiful crackling - how quickly he chilled!
MY DEAR PELLINORE! How he fell to the floor,
Gasping and twitching and speaking no more!
Left to his loves, not the white of his youth?
Nor of the songs, lightfull lambence uncouth?
NEVER AGAIN SEE THE BRIGHT YELLOW SKIES!
Just the spiders and flies, behind his white eyes!
O! Give no thought to Pellinore,
Dost plague men's minds, forevermore!



NARRATIVE EXERCISE X: Stultiloquence
as told by a Malaysian tortoise with avian flu

Here is a tale of a small little widgen, who got schnarred to death by bears. The widgen wasn't liked in polite company (he had a reputation for stealing, and subsequently eating, scones, including the Royale Golden Scone once owned by Emperor Harvbytt - until it was stolen and eaten, of course), so the schnarring, which proved fatal, was not met by sadness on the part of the villagers, but by a rather sudden and only partially rational happiness! (off in the distance, a buffalo contracted a kidney stone. it wasn't aware of it yet.) A dance was held in the town square. Men danced with women. Women danced with men. Men danced with men. Women danced with women. Children danced with the outcasts of a race of toad-people living just below the streets. The sun shone - alas! only to burn out in a billion years, destroying the then-uninhabited shell! No lives were lost, but tourism suffered a small blow. A speech was given by the mayor, who unfortunately broke down halfway through and had to be carried off by a passing vicar. Nobody listened to it, instead preferring to listen to electrical impulses in prearranged patterns on the record players recently installed in the top-left portions of their brains. A man spun pacemakers out of wax. Slowly collapsing, due to an inconvenient fold in the space-time continuum passing by, the entire populace's air supply dwindled, and passed only into the oddest memories of seventeen badgers, who'd been watching the entire debacle on televised broadcasting....