Welcome to Gaia! ::

Freddie had spent the past few weeks holed up in her duplex alternating between sleeping and eating. When she did go out it was under the cover of darkness, where she was just a large shadow moving through the village. She'd gone through quite a few books and magazines from the Entertainment Room when before she'd be hard pressed to pick up a book at gun point. She'd never been able to work up the guts to ask for the kind of things she used to be interested in, so she was slowly looking at other alternatives. The funk she was in could only last so long, and she had to figure out something to do before she went crazy.

And the milk, there was always the problem of the damn milk. She tried to let it go, but after a while the pain got to be so great that she was willing to do whatever it took. That left her with numerous scratches from her hooves that hurt almost as much as being laden. She was getting used to being a woman, even a cow, but it still sucked.

And then she ran out of food. Worse, it was in the middle of the day. No way in hell could she wait until sunset, so she slowly opened the door to her duplex and peered around. No one in sight... Maybe she could make it if she was careful. Problem was stealth was still not something she was good at. She tried to press herself to the sides of building, tried to hide behind trees, but if anyone did see it just looked absurd. Her long wrap skirt covered the udder, though it just made her look fat. And while she'd convinced herself the black halter actually was flattering... it wasn't.

That voice. Freddie froze, balling her hands awkwardly into fists. She was caught, she was trapped, she had a dog eagerly sniffing her. How humiliating. One ear flicked, betraying her nervousness.

"Nothin'," she said, keeping her voice soft. Maybe, if she was lucky, it was beyond recognition. She slowly took a few steps forward, too intent on trying to get away- and to the cafeteria- to think about how odd it was that she was in no mood to lash out. She was tired, she was hungry, and she was hurting in places that were very sensitive indeed. There was just no time.

"Can't thinka where," Freddie said quickly, the words blurred together, but she had never been good at hiding her accent. Her eyes slipped down to the dog, and look of annoyance briefly flicked across her odd features. She remembered the one with the lizard girl had, but how many others were there? She always hated dogs, her only fond experiences with them had involved strings and tin cans. She forced a smile as she looked back to Gaius and took several steps to one side to give the dog and horse a wide berth.

"Gotta go!"

Even after all these weeks, she wasn't very steady with running. Walking was awkward enough as it was, but she managed a fast wobble at least.

Freddie grit her teeth and tried to apply those anger management tips she'd read about in some ancient issue of Reader's Digest. Her hands still involuntarily balled into fists, but if he was really that dumb she couldn't in good conscience hit him and give it away. "I kinda like t' eat alone," she muttered softly. She glanced down and Vixen. "And I'm allergic to dogs..."

In her mind, she was silently screaming. Why would he just go away? She should have known this would happen. Somebody up there really hated her... And it was all completely undeserved.

Freddie walked in silence for a few steps. How could be be so dumb? How could he still be so cheerful? She slowed her pace, as if having to deal with all the that roiling inside her head was weighing her down. Accepting... The other islanders were accepting? That was a laugh.

And then he called her butch. He called her butch. Her hands shook with rage, her hoof fingers dug painfully into her skin. And all the while her clothes had been chafing uncomfortably. But she wasn't going to get mad. She wasn't going to lash out.

But that old, wildly irrational part of her wasn't dead just yet. That was why she uttered a bellow that sounded a little too bovine and rammed her fist in the general direction of Gaius's face.

...He called her butch.

"I ain't so bad!" Freddie cried, tears of rage welling in her eyes. She wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. Was it better to be mannish or girlish? Either way, she didn't want to be some fat cow with a bad lactation problem. And now, whether it was serum or all the time spent shoveling food in her mouth, that killer physique she had back when she was a he was ruined. She almost moved to hit Gaius again, but she knew previous experience with frog boy that it was no use. Kinda hard to feel like a big man anymore, no matter what she did.

Freddie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stomped off, continuing towards the cafeteria. Annoyingly helpful horse or no, she was still pretty damn hungry.

"Goddamn idiot," she grumbles. "Don't know nothin'... Every ********' time... Every ********' time! Agh!"

Freddie didn't stop walking, but she still couldn't quite work up the courage to break into a run. She knew how bad it looked when she did, given how things tended to bounce around, and the last thing she needed was to fall on her face in front of someone... again. So, without looking back, she flipped Gaius off. Careful as she had to be about putting one hoof in front of the other, her retreat was much slower than she would have liked.

"Just ******** off!" she yelled back at him, getting an odd sensation of deja vu as she did.

"Figures ya wouldn't, don't it?" Freddie laughed, throwing her arms up. Her voice went shrill as she yelled, "Who'd ever know!" She thought back to the incident in the weight room, which had played out much the same way. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd tried lifting weights, but the mere thought she'd never be able to bench anywhere near her old record was another viscious blow to her ego.

"Ain't like you was ever no master of perception anyway." She sniffled loudly and wiped her nose, coming away with an impressive amount of snot. Just great.