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 Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:24 pm
She was kind, considerate, and loving: three reasons that made this particular visit all the more difficult. Well, three reasons after the primary issue. Jordan wasn’t straight. He wasn’t even bisexual. He was certifiably gay. He’d even said so to it in the presence of that jerk of a heifer, Freddie.
At the time of their first meeting on the beach that afternoon, Jordan’s own painful trauma from the changes was all-too fresh in mind and body. His empathy for her plight had become an emotional moment for the both of them as Kim had transformed in his arms. They’d both cried as they clutched the other tightly. It wasn’t love he was feeling, but an empathetic understanding of the changes’ pains that had led to something it wasn’t meant to. He hadn’t meant to lead her on this long, but he couldn’t live this lie any longer.
Her duplex was in sight and Jordan’s step slowed. He could turn back now and continue to live the charade, but it wasn’t fair to either one. He couldn’t live with himself. He’d acted so strangely out of empathy and had done things that he wouldn’t have otherwise. He’d thrown her the birthday party to make her feel better and things got out of control from that point. Then… there was Valentine’s. He hadn’t even remembered that day until she’d come to his modified duplex with a basket of food. He wasn’t sexually attracted to females, plain and simple. The one instance where he had –how to say- engaged a female in that manner deep in the jungle, had been an unfortunate side-effect of the loyalty serum in conjunction with his serum. Letting Kim down easily was going to be difficult. It was a double-fisted KO.
He knocked gently on her door, head held low. “Kim. Please open. It’s Jordan.” he said loud enough for her to here in distressed apprehension.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:54 pm
Kim hadn't really done much that day. Mostly slept. She hadn't really slept well lately and spent most of her time in her duplex, curled up in bedsheets. When she heard the knock on the door, she pondered just ignoring it, but when the person spoke...
The pterodactyl left the comfort of her blanket and went on to open the door. "Jordan... ?" It was then that she noticed the changes, his overall demeanor... "Oh dear, are you allright ?!"
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:00 pm
He couldn't bear to face her just yet. It would be easier if he didn't have to see the sweet face show hurt. Yes, both his physical body and his demeanor were different. He turned his head slightly to the left, huffing a sigh. He wasn't even sure how to say it. Could he just come out with it or subtly build up to it? Considering subtly wasn't his strong suit..
"May I come in for a bit, Kim? I.. I.. have to talk to you." he clenched his eyes and bit his bottom lip. He hadn't meant to toy with anyone's emotions. That just wasn't who Jordan was, yet, it had happened.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:15 pm
What was going on... ? Kim simply nodded and moved out of the way, leading Jordan inside and pulling a chair for him to sit down. She decided for the bed, once again burying herself in a bundle of sheets. Everything had been so cold for the past few days. The tv and consoles where closed, and the open manga on the end of the bed proved that she had been most likely reading.
"Are you okay... ?" She repeated, hoping to get an answer this time.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:32 pm
He took the chair, turning it sideways so both his tail and his tummy paws could be unobstructed. He leaned his weight on his right arm, on the back of the chair. His gaze remained low. This was so hard to do. The words were choking in his throat as he tried to force anything out, even to answer her simple question.
"I've felt better, Kim.." Jordan fidgeted his paws, taking a few nervous breaths. "I'm actually here because I've got something difficult to say and I thought it'd be easier if I came to you.. you may not like me after what I have to say.." he finally looked up and around, noticing the new tv. So, at least she'd be able to play her Wii now. "..I hope there's some way that we can be still friends afterwards.."
Jordan laid his eyes on her, lying in bed and his stomach knotted terribly. "Kim.. I never meant to hurt you.. you're so sweet and it kills me inside to know that I've brought you suffering with what I have to say.. I know I wouldn't be able to take it well, myself.."
He scooted his paws on the floor, more nervously, taking a deep breath before continuing "That day we met on the beach.. I'd only changed for my first time the week before.. the painful memories were still very fresh and it broke me.. I was empatheitc to your own pain and.. I'd like to continue our bond as friends.. but.." he choked, wiping his paws over his watery eyes "Kim.. I never meant to lead you on.. you were so happy.. that's why I got your information from the labs and threw the surprise party.. I wanted you to be know you have friends who care and understand what you're going through.. and last week on Valentine's.. it was nice to be near someone.." he gripped the sides of the chair tightly, bracing himself for the hard part, clenching his eyes shut "Kim.. I'm.. gay.."
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:12 pm
The more he kept on speaking, the less the pterodactyl girl wanted to hear it. That was it, he was gonna dump her, she realized as he went deeper and deeper in the problem. The words where too familiar - the same used by the one person that had turned her down long before she had come here. This was wayyy back in high school, but she remembered the words well. They had been almost the same - about how sweet and nice and all that she was, but no, ill'd rather hang myself than being seen dating a geek. It was the gist of it that she had kept in mind for the last few years. Halfaway into his little speech, she frowned a bit - both at the mention of requesting info from the labs (They where going out telling personal info to anyone who requested it ?!? Of course, she had an hutch, but now this was confirmation) and at the fact she wished he would just end it already so she could possibly mend the rift she could already feel forming into her heart as soon as possible and now dwell for years as she had done on the first attempt.
But she could never expect what he ultimately said. It hit her like a ton of bricks. Gay. Now, she had nothing against gays - she had a gay friend back in the mainland, and she was at the very least bi-curious herself - but that was something she had never experienced. She'd been lead on - for what ? Why for ? While she had feelings, she had not planned to act upon them further than a friend. HE had been the one who had came out with all those bells and whistles and confessed LOVE to her. She had planned to keep it as a friendship, at least for then, but once he had confessed, her feelings had taken over. She'd allowed herself to be strung on. It smelled a bit heavily of bullshit in her head.
Pain quickly was replaced by anger. That was it ? What a way to end a relationship - come out of the closet ! A storm was brewing inside, but it was kept in check - as much as she wanted to lash out at him like the queen of all bitches, he looked... well, damn, he looked like he was gonna collapse in a heap at any moment. And yelling at him would be like kicking a puppy - a bit too harsh and hardly constructive.
She curled the blanket around her frame a bit closer - had it actually gotten colder in here, or was it her mind playing tricks on her ? Her face had settled in an unhappy frown. "You're... gay." She finally said, after what seemed to have been minutes of silence.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:23 pm
Jordan nodded at her question. "I am.." he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. "I'm so sorry.. please.. get mad at me or yell at me..hit me.. something.. I deserve it.." his ears twitched as he lowered his head, wipining the droplets of blood away on the back of his white paw.
He choked on the lump forming in his throat, sniffling and whimpering "I never meant to hurt you.. I'd never been close to anyone before and I didn't know what to think.." his breath wavered, white-furred chest heaving and falling with panicked breath.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:38 pm
Kim frowned more, leaning in to look at him in the eye, despise how hard he wanted to avoid her gaze. Her yellow eyes where harder than usual - a sign of the storm brewing inside.
"I've had half a mind to do that." She admitted, not intending to lie like he had. "But it's not going to change anything, Jordan. And it's hardly going to make me feel better about all this. Im not going to sugarcoat this - I am hurt. I can't pretend to be okay, and I don't understand. You didn't have to go that far to make me happy. You didn't have to pretend to love me - I had feelings, of course. I... never had someone care for me this much here, on this island, and it reminded me of something I had lost by coming here. Still, I had been hurt before, and I was perfectly happy to have you as a friend and not say anything. But you came out and..." Lied to me. b*****d. "...confessed, and my own feelings got out of hand. I don't understand how you openly lied to me so easily about something so big when it was far from even being needed. I know you where trying to make me happy, but I didn't need it. I was perfectly happy as we where, even if there was the possibility for more. I had not planned to bring it up for some time, if ever. But... you did. Im not too sure why... One of my best friends was gay. He never pretended to love me to make me smile. He never needed to."
Her voice had raised a bit - she took a moment to breathe, and calm herself down before continuing. "Is there anything else I should know ?" Any other lies forthcoming ? As of right now, she wasn't sure she could even trust him. "And... how much did they tell you ?" She added after a moment, referring to the labs.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:51 pm
He cringed at her amger, but he'd brought that onto himself. Jordan winced and fell backwards off the chair, landing head-first with a 'dull thud' on the floor. He didn't bother getting back up. He just cringed even more, pulling his arms over his head and tucking his head into his chest. He was sniveling and whimpering likie a frightened puppy who knew it had chewed up master's favorite pair of Italian loafers. "Th-they didn't tell me anything d-directly.. I- I was given a folder.. I-I'd asked.."
He was scared out of his mind, that intense level of scary where one feels they're about to piss themself. In retrospect, it was a bad move to mention the labs. She was like the others? She hated the labs, wanted to burn them down too? "I-I'm so sorry.. I'm so, so sorry.." he rocked back and forth as the tears began to flow down his cheeks.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:58 pm
She sighed a bit. This was getting... extremely awkward. "Look... calm down, please ? It's just, they never asked me and im a bit ticked they openly gave out information without asking me first." They could have least have done that. Not that she was sure she would have agreed, but still. For all she knew, it might have had prevented this damn mess. She didn't move to help him up or to comfort him - she was in no mood for that, and she was pretty sure all she would do would be kick him while he was down instead of actually helping. At any rate, her patience was dwindling.
"Calm down." She repeated, again. "You're making a mess out of yourself with something that's definitively not worth it." It was useless to be so upset over a stupid lie. She wasn't going to cut him any favor, but she was trying to control herself and not smack him into a bloody, furry pulp, which she figured was favor enough.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:11 pm
He tried to control himself. He tried to get a hold of himself. Jordan had turned a rare friend into an enemy. The huddled ball of fur tried hard to calm his breathing by not speaking, for one, though he listened well. He sniffled more as he withdrew his arms from his head and peeked up pathetically. He was in his place, on the floor, simpering like the animal he was becoming. He didn't know what to. Jordan didn't want to make a false move. Kim was livid and for good reason.
"P-please don't hate me.." Jordan wiped the tears from his eyes with his fluffy pompom paws. He'd been so deceitful and conniving to her, as he had been to so many others. "Sh-should sh-should I just leave..?" his tail hung limp between his legs as he waited for her response.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:22 pm
While he collected himself, she remained silent, having finally started to think that it was just plain useless to try to calm him down. In a sense, it was. She wasn't sure why she was bothered - possibly the small ashes of feelings, the last thing left behind of the deep feelings she has had for this man until he had dared step in her den and admitted his lies. One small side was glad he at least bothered to admit it and not keep her roped in deceit, and it was probably the only thing that had saved him from the full extent of her rage. That, and the pterodactyl's instincts which had come into play - it was useless to waste energy on something that was already done, especially with how she obliviously was a bit under the weather physically. She couldn't even find it in her heart to call him a friend now, for obvious reasons. Kim didn't like liars.
She remained silent for a moment even after he spoke. In the meantime, her glare had detached from him, and turned toward the wall, the blanket molding her slender form almost perfectly with how tight her grip of it was, as if willing the cold - and the whole damn world in general - to just go away.
"Yes." She finally said, the anger in her voice replaced by coldness. She made no movement to look at him or lead him out - he could find the damn door by himself.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:35 pm
She'd turned her back to him, clenching her blanket and his heart sank. Jordan bit his bottom lip in a useless attempt to still its movement. His black nose flared as it took in deep breaths of air and exhaled them roughly. He was on the verge of crying again, his eyes narrowing as they welled with salty tears.
Slowly, he crawled himself to the door, head hung in shame and his piece said. Whereas he wouldn't have one thing on his conscience, he now had something worse to addle with guilt. His paws shuffled on the floor as Jordan dragged his sorry carcass across her carpet, till his trembling arm reached for the knob. "I'm sorry.." he spoke softly, looking back one last time before he slunk outside. The closed the door gently and Jordan fell to his paws and knees, growling at himself as he stormed off towards the jungle, leaving behind a trail of tears.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:51 pm
She remained still until he was long gone, then, finally, her rage unleashed - she ripped the blue sunglasses from her neck and threw them as hard as she could manage at the opposite wall, visibly happy when the plastic shattered into what seemed to be a million pieces, and laid down, slamming the pillow over her head to hopefully muffle down the angry scream - which sounded more like a shrill sheik with now her beak managed the sound.
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