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 Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:13 pm
'Almost home' had become a sort of chant or slogan for their little group. Embamba was beginning to get annoyed by it, her thoughts on the subject more than a little bitter. She tried to ignore that, however, needing instead to be upbeat for her mate and children. Finding comfort in the somewhat more familiar surroundings of the southlands was getting easier, too, because they did look more like the home she remembered.
And so, the lioness spent her day watching the bugs in the grass and her children play--when they played near their mother's gaze The three of them were old enough to go without much interfereance now, of course, and she gave them the space they needed. Though, space wasn't necessarily the answer. A frown crossed her maw as she once more considered the secret she'd learned of Barazahi a moon or so earlier. She'd still not spoken up about it, as she'd promised the girl, but it worried Embamba what her daughter might be doing. Try as she might, she hadn't had too many bad nights since, to stay up and wait to see what the young girl was doing. Rather, weariness had overcome her form too many times for her own liking.
The thought of blue fur of course brought to mind the like-coloured individual in their ranks, her own mate. As dear as he was to her, and as good, here she was keeping another secret from him. That rode on her back like an untrained monkey, goading her mussing her fur.. and yet, it also picked the bugs from her back, for it helped her standing with Bara herself. What would Ndege do with the information anyway? Be dissapointed in them both, no doubt, and he would likely be more than a little angry.
Either way, if their slogan was correct, there was no need to divulge the secret. Soon, they would be tucked safely back in the fold of their Motherland. Her children would be accepted in to the pride, and they would hold their offices with due respect.... and perhaps she could let the fears drift away.
A chill up her spine that had nothing to do with a particularly cold wind racked her body. So many times out here she had wondered at their family. Were they really safe? They had been sent out to the heathens as a safe guard, yes, but what if their time spent among them had tainted them? Her children had never even had their birth rights...
That thrice damned secret she'd chosen to keep for her daughter once more beat the dusty-red liones about her brow. Barazahi didn't even realize what a danger the heathens were! Not only that, but the amoung of socialization she may have had with them.... She could have brought the evil one upon them. Perhaps Mteo's saviors would be their ultimate undoing, if the pride still existed at all.
That thought got a choked noise from its maker. How could she possibly think that they wouldn't survive! Surely, it had been hinted at when they'd been sent in the first place, but no one truly expected.....
But she did. Embamba knew, without much doubt, that she would be hailed as Queen and her children as Prince and Princesses when they returned--did not the death of the true king mean the pride struggled? And what if they came too late. What if that struggling pride had already dissapated... or worse.
All this worry made her sick again, and Embamba shook her head as fast as she could; the dizziness somehow made her feel better. Closing her eyes against the glow of the sun, she rested her head between her paws and let her brow furrow in concentration. How hard was it not to think about something?
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Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 5:57 pm
 With ever present cautiousness, Ndege had continued his usual rounds. It had become almost customary to gather a breath of air and a stroll - not only for the sake of scouting out mischief, but also for the sake of keeping his mind in place. As he had learned, the stillness had become a twisted thing. He no longer could seat himself and remain for hours at a time - alone - or in solitude. He required the motion and sight, the sheer comfort of being aware of what was amidst. Had he been raised differently, one would have suspected calmness to take the role paranoia had settled upon. The fact, however, was that he had been raised the way he had. Even the amount of time outside of the Lands had not changed his thought and focus on those beyond - on the world beyond - such lands. The world was a dark and tiresome place of suffering, grief - of starving rogues and violent beasts who mocked at every turn and corner. No doubt, he suspected regals of higher attitudes, but he had never encountered such stunning individuals. In fact, he had never truly encounter a rogue through proper meeting. It was not his business, and the only time he would ever converse with such heathens would be the opening segment of a battle for food. It occurred, as all things occurred, and it was perhaps Ndege's greatest fear. Food was vital for their survival and existence. Whatever the cost, he would obtain it - as he considered it a form of duty, and he took pride, just as he took pride in his 'patrols'. Certainly there were others to aid in patrolling or hunting - but he had become determined. His pride was that of a man in his prime, or past his prime. He required the satisfaction of which success brought to him - just as he required the solace of the never-ending statement 'almost home'. Such things were, perhaps, the only true meaning he found in his existence.
No. There was something more, and that would never be denied. She was a beautiful lioness, though fragile. She was his and always would be, until he one day fell and would be taken away. Such a day would either be glorious or sorrowful. Sorrowful for he himself for losing everything - but glorious in the passing and honor, were honor to be attributed. Regardless, the fact stood that his life held such precious ideas - such precious associates. His loving mate, who he had sworn to protect, and his children, who he would never believe to be as grown as they truly were. Ndege had them to live for, and he had the dutiful sentry who always stood loyal with his use of given titles, such as 'Lord'. Such a title had lost its luster, and Ndege shivered to think of it. He preferred his name to anything other - anything high, mighty. For as long as they traveled through the gaudy terrain that was not home, he wanted no statement of hierarchy.
With his head bowed and body traveling at a casual pace, Ndege had lost his enthusiasm over his patrol. He had traveled far out, and had then returned, with no sight of harmful beasts. That brought him great relief. His heart had ceased its usual racing. His tenseness had vanished into the air - and he had become nothing more than a casual observer of the grass of the Southlands. For a moment, he might have sworn he were home, though such delusion would potentially cause great misery.
Closing his eyes, he thought for a moment, picturing the place of which he had grown, of which he had loved, and of which he had left for the sake of the continuity of the pride - as well as the safe guard of the woman of which he loved so dearly. It was fascinating in memory. He would never forget the smells and sounds. They were ghosts. They haunted him like the late-night song of an old cricket dying alone. A shiver ran down his spine and he shuttered - the yellow mane flittering about before shagging about his blue face. Just as he had tossed his head back to relieve his eyes of the unruly mane, they had encountered the figure of she who had surrounded his thoughts but a moment in the past. Embamba.
The hesitance was evident. His thoughts were heavy, and his grief as apparent as his occasional boredom. For all who had left on the voyage, home was distant. They were on an endless odyssey, taunted by the gods for their venture home. Perhaps it was punishment? Punishment for what, he could not dream - unless their departure had somehow been a crime. Even so, the pain and worry of which washed over his face was ever looming - casting a grim shadow upon him even as he smiled. There was something sad within that smile of his, just as there was within his skittish eyes. No matter how he tried to hide it, it would seep through - and thus it did as he cautiously, quietly, approached. "Embamba." He spoke with a low tone of solemnity. His head was bowed low in greeting, respect, and love. Such a motion was left a moment, until his eyes were raised, though head left far down. No other words were spoken out of greeting. He seemed preoccupied with some thought.
Of course ... Like all that thought was the abstract concept of home. Mteo'nyungu.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:50 pm
Embamba's head raised and she blinked her eyes a few times as reality slipped back into her fuzzy mind. Slowly the female turned her eyes towards her mate, whome she hadn't even noticed approaching. Whether her seeming lack of care about her surroundings was a side effect of that which had left her so weak from birth or denotive of her mate's loving care and attention to detail was left unknown, even to the female. It was obvious, however, that she probably wouldn't have even noticed if he had been something dangerous.
Their eyes met. Embamba gave the slightest of smiles towards her mate and tipped her head towards him as well without unlocking their sights. Her bad mood faded a touch when she saw the darkness looming over his form. They had been together for so long it was nearly impossible for either to hide something from the other... a wince of guilt hit her emotionally. Ignoring that, the lioness's tail whipped around her body to thump on the ground beside her. It was an invitation, no matter how silent, though her eyes finally broke to roam once more across the grasslands she'd been surveying. Had he realized what their daughter was hiding from them? It was possible, though she'd thought he'd be more angry about it than sad. That probably wasn't it at all.
After a few moments, taken in order to drink in the feel of a cool wind blowing through the grass, Embamba turned back towards her mate. "I was beginning to think you'd never come back to me," She teased, her voice breezy and calm. It was hard to tell what it was about him that caused this effect over her, but regardless it took its hold rather easily. She leaned closer to nuzzle the top of her head under his chin. She swallowed the guilt that could have easily overtaken her, and continued, "nothing interesting on our heels, I hope?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:39 pm
Ndege's eyes had seemed to gleam with the utmost satisfaction. His head had not dared move from its bowed position - the sense of respect floating about the very stance. As could be exhibited, he was rather pleased, honored, that it had been returned to him with something of the same affections. A smile had spread across his face like part of a wild fire; his eyes had remained locked with her's, only shifting when staring had become too tiresome for the optics to handle. He had blinked, and, with that motion, he had broken the moment of which he had silently wanted to continue.
Fortunately, the cue had been in time with the tacit invitation Embamba had given. He had only nodded his head to himself. His own tail had swished about behind him for a time, flicking against one hind leg in a matter of telling himself to move. There was irony within his thoughts having carried him on swift feet to the lioness. Equally so, a renewed sense of dignity and determination had overcome him, though it was greatly damaged by the scars of his memory. Home was simply a beautiful thing, and it was doubtful that much would take the concern for it off of his mind. There were simply too many things to worry about in regards to the old home. How long had they been gone? Were they remembered? Were they even thought to be alive?
Brushing off the troubles, Ndege had circled Embamba before taking rest at her side. He sat tall, though his back had seemed to hunch. Whether it was due to age or carelessness was for anyone to ponder. However, were it of any true matter, Ndege displayed no concern for his posture. It had only lasted a few moments. By the first sentence, he had rested upon his stomach, greeted by yet another loving motion that might have made him coo were he not flooded with his own mental complications. Even so, he did not deprive the return. With careful grace, he had lowered his head to receive the contact - as well as return it with a bit of shaking, nuzzling. The smile that had adorned his face had only grown wider, a throaty laugh quietly making its debut into the world of sound. "You've nothing to fear. Not even death would keep me from returning." He spoke with great sincerity despite the boldness of his statement. Not even death. He would only hope there would not come a time when he would need to hold onto the idea of his statement ringing true.
A breath had been heaved as he furrowed his brows. His paws had seemed to tap lightly at the ground, as if contemplating something. "Fortunately, for all of our sakes, there is no danger following closely. We'll be alright, but even that thought shouldn't allow us to drop guard." A firm nod had been given, his paws continuing their drumming motion before ceasing. "What rests in this hellish land is nothing more than danger in the first place, accompanied only by a few slivers of beauty." His eyes had rolled to the side, catching glimpse of the lioness. Her placid nature was inspiring. How he admired it! "How have you been fairing as of today?" Ndege had inquired, the curiosity and wonder contained within his tone. As always, concerned over the state of health his mate exhibited.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:26 pm
"Good," she replied casually to the inquiry of her health. It was what she always said, of course, and the lioness leaned closer to drop her head across one of his paws. His devotion to her was as comforting as a warm blanket being drawn across her form. Like a blanket it could, at times, be horribly stiffling, but today it was more than welcome. A light smile at his hint towards her beauty couldn't help but be had, and Embamba licked his paw slightly. After nesting herself against him, she pondered what he had to say.
"No danger following closely, but is there danger following?" Embamba gave a light chuckle, not having meant that as a serious question. He would know that, of course, and she gave a noise as close to a purr as an adult lion could manage, "Though I do hope you have no reason to return to me in death. That might harm the children." The corners of Embamba's mouth rose slightly, even though a quiver inside of her at the mention of their children heralded the feeling of guilt sprung anew. She tried not to let that show, instead focusing on the conversation at hand.
"The land is becoming more familiar," Embamba closed her eyes against the view, "I hope we'll be home soon? Its been such a long time." Though the lioness didn't dare voice her worries when he was likely to have many himself, she did open the air for his own. Perhaps his sadness was due to that as well? They did seem to think aline on many things. She let her tail flick over the heads of the grass about them, causing the stalks to bend and sway, before thumping it against his and laying it there.
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:37 pm
He was never certain of her words. The confidence she gave towards her health was bewildering; were he more inclined to propose it, they were possibly misleading. Even so, Ndege could only faintly grin at her positive word. Despite its casual nature, it was a beautiful sound for ears plagued by sour news or ridiculous noises. If she were deceiving him over her condition, he could hold back a while and enjoy the feeling of comfort and lack of worry.
Of course, even if she gave the good word, he would continue to worry. It was a horrid habit - one that he could not find the skill to break apart. In some ways, he was not certain he wanted to destroy his misgivings. They had heightened his senses. He was quick at the sound of a noise. Unfortunately, as all things respectfully told, it was not an advancement in reflexes. He was only keen because of his paranoia, because of his fear. When he thought about it ... The worries were nonsense. There was nothing valuable about them. The entire track was tainted; he had become a coward.
A mental shake of his head had occurred as his thoughts had shifted. His face had seemed to show surprise for a moment. However, it had soon relaxed into a comfortable and content state as he lowered his head. A sliver of a grin had emerged; his eyes had become half-lidded as if he were thinking of something dear to him.
Carefully, he had listened to her statements. A soft snort had escaped his nose at her false inquiry, the lack of seriousness sinking into his mind quite clearly. Even so, he could never be sure, and it was with that pretext that he had responded to it. "Danger is always following. It simply does not give itself away each time it approaches. It can be sudden, and that makes it all the more troublesome." The gentle expression to his face had remained, displaying his seeming understanding of what she had been saying. Rather than a snort, he had ended up laughing. His voice had fallen low, a throaty sound oscillating throughout the air. "I suppose you would be correct. I can only hope that there would never be reason to return in such a state. It would be deplorable and damaging." Never mind the morbid nature of the conversation. Ndege had taken it lightly, having settled with the idea that he would not die - at least not at that moment. His eyes had shown it. His face had displayed it. There was a certain nature to it all. In a way, it was calming. At the same time, it was horrific.
"It is as familiar as I can think back to, but I thought the same days ago." Ndege's pleasant expression had distorted suddenly. His eyes had narrowed; his nose had wrinkled - and he had seemed filled with sudden disdain. "It has been too long. I'm sure the accuracy of detail has faded, but home ..." His voice had trailed off. He had given his yellow mane a shake before heaving a heavy sigh of discontent. "Home will always be a wonderful thought. Whether my memory matches correctly or not, returning will be ... Nice."
Once more his face had become relaxed, though the distortion had not dimmed entirely. Whatever misgiving touched him, it was not apt to leave swiftly. "What if they do not remember us?"
The question had seemed to spring from oblivion. In fact, Ndege had not been entirely sure he had spoken it. The idea had crossed his mind once again, and, before he knew it, his mouth had been moving and the sound had seemed to emerge. Instantly after realizing he had spoken, he had began shaking his head quickly, as if he felt it would erase what he had spoken.
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:03 am
"What if they do not remember us?" The question was ghosted by her own lips even as he attempted to erase it from memory. Indeed, that one had not occurred to her yet but she wondered that it had not. Rather than cause a good deal of fear in her, the thought was brushed to a sort of resignation about their situation. She nuzzled his chest to calm him.
"They will remember. I have faith in our people and their minds--they knew they sent us away and they knew that we would return in due course, no matter plague or famine or disaster we may yet meet. Our course is steady as is their resolve." She gave a curt nod, as if nothing else could be the truth though, inside, she wondered. Perhaps they would have forgotten, but even if they had would they not, then, recognize them for the traditions at least the four of them knew? No outsider would know the pride so well, and for that they would have to recognize their position. Embamba settled the issue within her as firmly and fast as she could, for leaving rise to such a question could have easily upturned them all. "Our people will know us, My heart, let us leave it at that. We have walked from the start of the barbarians' territories to the end; we have seen things no other in our pride has seen in generations; we have learned much of the barbarous world they sent us into... but we still keep our faith. They will know us."
She settled the matter with a lick to his ear. Slowly she made her way down his neck, burying her face in his thick mane with a contented sigh. There were days that she waited for a chance to merely be alone with him, such was the way of their situation and the "curse" of having children. The children...
Embamba gave a small sigh, "Ndege?"
She knew she would have his attention--he always gave it--but waited a moment for him to collect himself anyway. How she had been gifted with so understanding a mate was a question for the Goddess herself. "I'm afraid there may be something wrong with Baharazi.
"She's been... sluggish lately," Embamba frowned, trying to pick her words carefully. "Raza isn't one to be lazy, nor would I accuse her of such, but I... I fear that she has grown weaker." The lioness leaned away, head turned from him as shame settled about her shoulders. They'd always known that her weakness may yet be passed to a cub of theirs, but they had thought their children safe. Yet, full grown Baharazi was suddenly slow and sleepy, unwilling and unable to even hunt for herself. Embamba's motherhood shriveled inside of her, weeping for the possibility that she had doomed her daughter to her own sort of dependence.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:03 am
His vocalized concern had left him feeling nothing more than embarrassment. Time had withered away as they walked laboriously through life; time had began disappearing, and the concern had only jumped at him with the sudden realization of how close he felt to the end. It was insecurity at its finest. Within his thoughts, he had been capable of predicting the idea of being forgotten. He had imagined it time and again, of strolling home - only to then have to prove his identity under scrutiny. Or perhaps he worried more than he needed over the issue itself?
With steady focus, Ndege had listened to Embamba's certainty. With each noise to leave her, he had gradually felt his misgiving shrivel into a state of silliness. She was more than correct. They sent them away. They - themselves - had vowed to return - and so it had been known. Nothing had interfered with their quest given the time, what reason had he to suspect anything would change? Had he such little faith in the people? For a moment, Ndege had become fragile. The horrid feeling within had twisted within his stomach. For whatever reason, he felt as if something were potentially wrong. He felt as if, when they arrived, something would greet them - though he supposed that feeling was equated to anticipation. Nevertheless, it bothered him as much as the sense of any irrational fear did. He was a nervous individual, craven and at attention even when he needed to relax further. It was only in his being to be skeptical of --- of things! Regardless, he could not help but feel shame for having spoken such words. But time. Time did remarkable things. The possibilities of what would be greeting them? They were endless.
Hesitantly, Ndege had settled with his usual habit. He had encased the horrid feelings and had buried them away. No matter what he felt, he would not permit himself - or his fears - to enter the world. They were his quarrel to have. He would not - he did not want to - settled them onto the shoulders of anyone else - especially his beloved. With the decision to bury it all away, Ndege had found the horror of his face diminishing, though the gradual smile had been short lived and petty. Meekly, he had shifted his head to glance at her at his side; then his name had entered the scene.
Nothing in the world would have prepared him for Embamba's statements. As could have been expected of him, he had given his attention to her, but what had touched his ears had left him more than mortified. He had felt a piercing ache run through his heart and mind; a feeling of dread had encompassed him. Without any thought, he had felt himself moving to stand up. The compelled need to rise and to move a fragment had emerged; the fear had struck him, and, suddenly, he felt almost helpless. Baharazi? If something were wrong with her. If she were somehow weaker. What would become of her?
The sinking and throbbing feeling to his heart had peaked as hie had stepped a few paces away. His shoulders had hunched, along with his head. The shaky and unnerved nature of his breath had echoed gently. It almost seemed as if he would dash away at any given moment - as if his bearings had been shattered and he had become helpless, weak, and cowardly. No matter the look to him though, Ndege stood where he was in a firm manner. The grief had trickled through his veins, had distorted his face, but, in a short while, he had managed to gain some composure.
Clearing his throat, he had held his head high and had looked at Embamba with only concern. "If something is wrong..." He had began, but had shaken his head in the end. How was he to react? "She's a strong girl. I have to see for myself. But, oh, pray it be nothing serious." Ndege had looked away from her, his eyes shutting tightly.
"Embamba. How is she? How weak would you say? Should we remain situated here a bit longer?"
His voice had trilled on his breath. The trouble had shone through, but Ndege had done nothing more than look his usual. He had seemed determined to handle any situation. No matter the circumstance or grief. Were it needed, he would delay movement longer. There was no sense in risking the health of his daughter and his love - were one of them weak, he would not dare move them.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:26 am
Embamba sorely wished she hadn't brought this up, but he did need to know. There were times she almost wished her mate would snap--that he would bring his troubles and worries to the light, but she knew from so long experience that he would never do so. No matter the questions she asked, or the worries she expressed, he always held his own silent. The best she could do was offer him the comfort of her presence and understanding. It was with this that, despite her own shame of what she may have passed to her children, the lioness rose once more to move to her mate's side. Settling beside him, she nuzzled herself under his chin and into his chest, the best hug or hold that any lion could give.
"It is only a suspicions, my heart. I am attempting to ask her about it, but it may only be a simple sickness, easily passed. The young are resilient, are they not? For now, I think we should keep on as we are... it cannot be longer to home, and there we will have much time to rest and be with our pride again. There, indeed, may be the answer she needs to whatever difficulty she may have. For now, there is no evidence that we should stop."
Emamba licked his chest gently, slowly, in a calming manner. "Be at ease, Ndege, I will keep Raza close to me and at my pace. I will not allow anything to happen to her." Silly words, perhaps, but the best that Embamba could offer. If it ever came to it, she would gladly lay down her life for any of their children, after all. ... no matter that she was the expectant heir of their pride. She had children now, a lineage; they could do without a weakling "queen' if they had to. Even then, there was that chance that Warithi was still alive.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:44 am
An earthquake could shatter the ground, but the words were no earthquake. They had brought a shock - nothing more - and Ndege's attitude had not seemed willing to morph in the least. Whether or not it would one day was something to be skeptical about. However, it appeared promising. The expression to his eyes, the nervous nature of his breathing. One could suspect that it would not be long before the wall between he and his surrounding atmosphere shattered completely. When it did, what could be expected was not predictable. In the mean time, he had dealt with it all inside - battling questions with half-hearted answers or condemnations towards fate. How he loathed fate at times. It delighted in toying with his heart - and that was something which made him feel far older than he desired to feel.
With only a moment's delay, Ndege had returned the shift a lion's hug - having accepted the gesture graciously. One day he would think of the proper gesture and words to display his gratitude for Embamba's presence in his life. One day he would have the ability to do that - or so he declared in solitude that he would. Her words always brought him comfort. Her voice, her face, her touch. They were magical medications that soothed any pain or trouble that would touch him. Never could he ask more of her; never would he ask more of her.
A heaving sigh had been sent forward. Ndege had blown a strand of his shaggy golden mane away from his head. A feeble smile had returned to him. Once more, Embamba had managed to make him feel silly for being so frightened. A mere sickness? It was a probability. He had not seen his daughter for quite a while, and he supposed he was in no room to be overly intimidated when he knew so little of her conditions. Such a thing had eased him. He had ceased his panic, and he had seemed to fall into a state of shaky complacency.
"I will not risk either of you to travels." He had spoken with determination. "But if you believe it is acceptable, I will not contest it. All I can hope is that, when we arrive, there will be nothing but what we desire. Good news. Life. Things that make us happier." His throat had been cleared sharply. His eyes had seemed to flicker all around him. "Do keep watch of her. I trust your judgment and your care greater than I would trust my own, or that of any other soul."
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:50 am
Embamba smiled and in that smile was more than she could have ever related through words alone. Instead she leaned into him, letting her eyes close as her breath shifted to match his own. One creature, one being; there was no doubt that together, she and Ndege were a formitable team. Indeed, for the moment she forgot about the physical issues that were apart of making that team weaker, and just... was. They had an accord, and it brought a little more peace to their lives.
--End
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